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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think most women hope for a baby girl?

665 replies

Rowennaravenclaw · 21/06/2019 20:21

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

OP posts:
beingsunny · 22/06/2019 00:45

Definitely not!
I only found out the sex in case it was a girl and I could have time to accept it

AutumnColours9 · 22/06/2019 00:46

Didn't care at all. After 4 losses I just wanted a live baby and not to have to give birth and not take the baby home. Sex seemed very minor.

Jjttmm · 22/06/2019 00:49

I imagined myself having a boy before and during pregnancy (though would have been happy with either) PFB was a boy so was thrilled.

solargain · 22/06/2019 00:54

This thread is fucking HORRIBLE.

Growuppeople · 22/06/2019 00:55

Not RTFT boys are so much better than boys u crazy Shock

Growuppeople · 22/06/2019 00:56

Well that messes up! Boys are so much easier than girls! U crazy 😂

MammaToBe2019 · 22/06/2019 00:58

I honestly didn't mind, i was told I wouldn't be able to have children so when i fell pregnant I didn't mind either way. I have to say though, i was ecstatic when i found out i am having a baby boy :)

Growuppeople · 22/06/2019 00:58

I love my girl to bits but jeez boys are so much easier

CowandGate2019 · 22/06/2019 01:04

I hope your sadness passes and your son thrives.

bingbongnoise · 22/06/2019 01:16

'Boys are so much easier.'

'Boys are so much better.'

'I had a boy. and a boy again, and I pray the third is a boy.'

'boys are very much wanted in my world and you get commiserations if it's a girl.'

FFS, this thread is fucking toxic. @Rowennaravenclaw please do as you said you would earlier, and get this thread deleted. I can't stand another minute of posters bashing and berating girls, for no reason other than they wanted one and they are deeply in denial...

PhoenixBuchanan · 22/06/2019 01:32

I can't stand another minute of posters bashing and berating girls, for no reason other than they wanted one and they are deeply in denial...

There is probably a grain of truth here. IRL, with friends I have had honest conversations with, most want girls. I suspect this thread has raised hackles and people are doubling down with nasty and misogynistic opinions. FWIW I wanted girls and had girls. And If I ever had a third, I'd love a boy! I wouldn't dream of saying awful things about an entire sex class of children.

TheKrakening3 · 22/06/2019 01:35

I didn’t care at all. I didn’t find out the sex until birth for any of them.

WhyTho · 22/06/2019 01:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElephantUmbrella · 22/06/2019 02:14

I always wanted boys and I got two.

It's nothing I can explain rationally .. just a deep feeling .. I really wanted boys.

My sister has two girls and I love them but have never yearned for one myself.

My dad and my DH are each one of 3 boys in their families so we've always had lots of menfolk around and I love the brotherly camaraderie that brings between them all.

LimeKiwi · 22/06/2019 02:16

See I don't get the "boys are so much easier" comment. I have no girls but what does that even mean?!
Surely it's down to tempurant and personality and not whether you're a boy or girl.

edgeofheaven · 22/06/2019 02:34

See I don't get the "boys are so much easier" comment. I have no girls but what does that even mean?! Surely it's down to tempurant and personality and not whether you're a boy or girl.

Of course it is but don’t let that get in the way of good old fashioned sexism.

Autism is more prevalent in boys. ADD/ADHD is more prevalent in boys. Boys are more likely to engage in risky behaviours and most criminals are young men.

But yeah a teenage daughter having a strop is way worse Hmm

Malaiese · 22/06/2019 02:35

I think the girl negativity is because of the title. People who disagreed posted their disagreements.

I think if the title had been more balanced the responses would be more balanced as well.

Sashkin · 22/06/2019 02:44

I wanted a boy, because I was a tomboy growing up and wanted to be able to do stereotypically boy things with DS (climbing trees, jumping in muddy puddles, taking him snowboarding) without people tutting at me.

I would have done all of those things with a girl, and DS and I do plenty of "girlier" things like baking, playing with baby dolls, teddy tea parties and crafts as well, but must admit that I do enjoy the rough and tumble stuff more and would be a bit sad if he didn't like it (if he had no interest in baking I couldn't care less).

I don't care whether DC2 is a girl or a boy though, one DS is enough to scratch that itch for me.

cheesemongery · 22/06/2019 03:06

You think wrong.

Strokethefurrywall · 22/06/2019 03:08

I have 2 boys, they're both amazing.

Would have loved to have had a daughter but not at the expense of either of my boys.

My "disappointment" such as it were, wasn't because I was having another son, but because I was really only going to have 2 kids and I knew I wouldn't have a daughter.

I was desperately sad that I would never have a daughter but utterly overjoyed at the baby boy I did have.

And weirdly enough, if I were to have a 3rd baby, I would love a 3rd boy.

Every baby is a blessing, but absolutely a preference for one sex or the other is a real thing. But it doesn't mean that there is a "disappointment" for the sex you do have, just an adjustment to the idea you have in your head.

VimFuego101 · 22/06/2019 03:08

No, just wanted a healthy baby. I had a weird sense that it would be a girl (maybe because DSD kept saying it would be) but was wrong. I am unlikely to have any more due to fertility issues but would be over the moon to have a houseful of boys.

Original poster
Rowennaravenclaw · 22/06/2019 03:25

Okay time’s up on this thread I think. Seems to be upsetting people. Will ask @MNHQ to get rid.
Thanks for participating though. An interesting conversation to say the least.

OP posts:
RiversDisguise · 22/06/2019 03:33

Any healthy baby is a blessing. I would have loved a boy or girl both pregnancies.

1300cakes · 22/06/2019 03:50

The reason the sex disappointment threads are from women who wanted girls are because these women are the types of people with a frilly, fluffy idea in their head of what having a girl will be like. They're the types of women who want to dress their baby up like a little doll.

Well that's just ridiculous. I wanted a girl and not because I'm a "fluffy, frilly person (whatever that is) who wants to dress up a doll".

For one, I could dress my baby son up in cute clothes like a little doll if I wanted.

Second, fluffiness doesn't come in to it, actually I've always been more of the tom boy type. But I relate better to women, for many reasons. I have male friends but most of my close friends are women - we just understand each other. I get on great with both my parents but have much more in common with mum. I love my dad but we have little to talk about. The bottom line is I wanted another women in my family.

FionasWineShow · 22/06/2019 04:01

I don't think YABU, but people get very defensive around what they have.

I definitely wanted a girl. We have one of each - perfect.

I also think that all the gender disappointment threads are skewed, because they're inevitably started by women.

I think - mass generalisation alert (caveat for the hard of thinking: not all) most men secretly would like a boy. They just don't talk about it or post about it.

I think it's perfectly normal to want what you are. Again, I am speaking generally. Of course this won't apply to everyone.

These threads always end up girl bashing, and it's really horrible to read. Especially as it's women (mums of boys, inevitably) doing it.