Is a women not making an effort if she is not wearing makeup

[AndroidB]

Do you think that a women is not making an effort if they attend something like a Christmas dinner, birthday meal or wedding and she was not wearing makeup? Assume they are clean and wearing tidy formal clothes to fit the occasion. Also if you thought she wasn't making an effort because she wasn't wearing makeup would you keep it to yourself or say something?

According to my Mil this is the case and I should wear makeup. All the time according to her but especially Christmas day and meals out.

I think it stands for neurologically typical, @redspider1.

My mum, when I was in my late teens, had a dinner party at home, in the late 1980s. She told me off for not putting lipstick on as I hadn’t made an effort with her friends. Irritated me no end. But then she also told me I should always accept a dance if a boy asks me as it takes a lot of courage. No wonder I have issues 😂😂

Complete and utter nonsense - MIL is wrong. Some women are allergic to make-up and it isn't necessary anyway. If you are clean, neat and tidy, your clothes are suitable for the occasion who gives a toss about make-up? If anyone told me off for not wearing make-up I'd tell them to get stuffed.

Here we go again.

I dont own any

YANBU but ffs...

WOMAN.

I personally wouldn't dream of not wearing make up, but then I like it and look much better for it. I have a friend who doesn't wear make up and looks glorious without it (and I am envious, I wish I could carry that off). It's very much a personal choice and I certainly wouldn't judge anybody either way LET ALONE comment on it. Your MIL is unspeakably rude and next time she brings it up just say "I don't want to wear make up, never will and I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it again". How dare she!

Thanks for the TED talk link.

Not wearing make up is still fine if in your own and others’ view you’d look “better” with it. Works fine for almost all men!

I only wear make up if I'm going out-not always & then often only lipstick.

I think that it's up to the individual & can't think why anyone would comment either way.

TheFormidable-maybe you could carry it off but have just got into the habit?

Mil said I would look alot better if I wore makeup
then you have grounds to respond that she would look better if she lost a stone, changed her hair style or whatever would make her feel most self conscious
go on do it, you know you want to :o

Wow, OP's MIL is a bit of a witch.

You know what, though, she's being so unreasonable it probably kind of takes the stress out of it. She's so wrong she can just be completely ignored, the way you'd ignore someone shouting at pigeons in the street.

I would turn up at the next family event with both me and my husband with a full face of dramatic make-up!

I wear makeup maybe once or twice a year because it makes me feel claustrophobic and add like an extra 40mins to my getting ready schedule

why so long?! I can do a full face in four minutes

I wear make-up every day and wouldn't go out without it, I look really awful bare faced. The ONE time I didn't wear any, about six people told me how tired I looked and asked if I was OK and I've never done it again.

I do notice if a woman is wearing it or not and if she's not, usually I'm just envious and wishing I could do that and I really think women in general look really beautiful when they're natural compared to when they're made-up.

YADNBU

former I have a face in no minutes

Seriously, if you do it daily, I imagine you will have it down to four minutes.

Actually I think op should ask her husband to go to the next family meal with very colourful makeup.

I bet those who get asked if they are okay when not wearing makeup are just asked because it's a change, not because your faces need makeup anymore than mine does.

Haven’t RTFT but I would say if a woman is not wearing make up then she is not wearing make up! No more to say

Unfortunately one of the best people I've ever worked with who was amazing at her job and always dressed very smartly never wore make up and I often heard this said about her. I think she was perceived as lazy for 'not making an effort'. People are dicks.

Yes, next time there's a family do, present MiL with your DH lovingly made up by your own fair hand. She can't claim you haven't made an effort then.

Agree with a couple of others, you and DH should both be wearing make-up to your next dinner out etc with MIL, to make sure you are "making an effort"

This sums up makeup madness for me...

I think of make up as the finishing touch to a smart party outfit or formal dress. I'd feel underdressed going to a wedding or formal meal bare faced. Like wearing a cocktail dress with slipper socks, it just feels mismatched!

I think the male equivalent is shaving or trimming their beard and styling their hair. My DH wouldn't dream of going to a wedding or special family meal with a few days of stubble or his hair unbrushed!

I get shiny without a matte foundation and powder. I wear light make up to work. I also wear eyeliner, mascara and lipstick for special occasions. It takes seconds to apply. I feel more confident with make up and look much better in photos!

How about next time it happens, saying, 'I prefer to look as if I haven't tried than to look as if I've tried ... and failed.'

Then give MiL a long hard stare.