Is a women not making an effort if she is not wearing makeup

[AndroidB]

Do you think that a women is not making an effort if they attend something like a Christmas dinner, birthday meal or wedding and she was not wearing makeup? Assume they are clean and wearing tidy formal clothes to fit the occasion. Also if you thought she wasn't making an effort because she wasn't wearing makeup would you keep it to yourself or say something?

According to my Mil this is the case and I should wear makeup. All the time according to her but especially Christmas day and meals out.

NinetySixer how are they allowed to get away with such a sexist attitude at work?

What does MLM stand for?

formerbabe why? Two of us have said that on this thread already. If you never wear make up, ever, you'd feel like an actor putting make up for your wedding - not like yourself at all. Who wants that? It'd feel uncomfortable and fake. The same way most men might feel if expected to wear make up for their wedding having never worn it before.

I don't give a fig whether or not other women wear make up or not. I actually do like make up and enjoy wearing it but I can rarely be bothered to put it on.

I wear makeup maybe once or twice a year because it makes me feel claustrophobic and add like an extra 40mins to my getting ready schedule. I decided it wasn't worth it. When I was a teenager my mum tried to force it with me. She once told me I'd be disgracing myself if I went to a certain event without makeup. At the time I had been self-harming (she didn't know) and that was the first time in months that I'd been clean long enough to wear short sleeves.

So, in short, no one should ever think that a woman is not making an effort if she doesn't wear makeup. You don't know what else might be going on in her head. I also have a few friends who are allergic to most makeup so they never bother and they shouldn't feel like they have to.

AndroidB MLM is multilayer marketing - pyramid schemes. There are lots of them where people, mainly women, are persuaded by a friend to buy a "business start up kit" then flog make up or health products to friends and family - those up the chain profit from those down the chain, most people earn about £100 over a year and become desperate to flog their lifestyle to make others buy whatever they're selling, or if possible buy into the "business" / pyramid and be down the chain from them, because they lose money on the start up and stock.

I usually wear makeup, if I don't it's generally because I'm not well with something like a cold.

One of my DDs wears makeup, one doesn't - she wore very light makeup at her wedding because with the usual sort of wedding makeup she looked overloaded and just not like herself.

I really don't notice whether someone's wearing makeup tbh. I certainly wouldn't think a woman 'wasn't making an effort' if she wasn't wearing any, as I say I probably wouldn't notice.

Ridiculous thing for MIL to say.

Next time you meet her it's on with the heavy false eyelashes with lots of clotted mascara, several shades of eye shadow, pale shiny lipstick and a face full of bronzer. Maybe get some of those mad thick black eyebrows or draw some on while you're about it. Oh and don't forget the long sparkly acrylic fingernails just to top it off.

She'll be really pleased to see how 'lovely' you look and what a sterling effort you've made.

As she said you would look better with make-up I would have asked her to explain what is wrong with your face and not let her brush it off, I would have wanted a detailed answer right there and then in front of the family.

Completely sexist attitude. No one, either women or men, should have to use make-up unless they want to.

Not a chance!

If it were me, I'd be going full drag queen next time I saw her. Or camo.

@Beesandcheese
I am also NT, another thing I am assumed to not be because of my "quirky" make up free stance i too am NT despite all evidence to the contrary.

I wear make up most of the time, but I like applying it and wearing it. If someone told me I should I wouldn't on purpose. Silly, sexist, old fashioned MIL!

No, it's entirely personal choice. I wear it for work and going out, but enjoy not wearing it at all other times, and I wouldn't consider that someone hadn't made an effort if they don't wear it.

What is NT please?

I look nice in just my face. Make up is itchy. I don’t wear it and don’t care what anyone’s mil thinks. However I also don’t care about the opinion of anyone who’d judge me on what I look like! I am SO much more that my face!

I've no objection to makeup, just expectations that women "should" in order to look smart/ professional etc, or about dressing in ways that put style above practicality (e.g. high heeled shoes for standing/ walking around)

I would agree with this, but also add expense and time. It's fine for women - and men - to get ready as they see fit. It's not fine that there is a hugely normalised expectation that women significantly alter their appearance in order to look acceptable, far over and above the expectation for men.

I'm a mil and this is crazy. I wouldn't notice if my dil's were wearing it or not, apart from one who does wear it all the time normally. I certainly wouldn't judge, I only wear it when I can be arsed myself.
Just ignore her.

Presuming your DP/DH, her son was/is attracted to your make-up free face?

I look better with make up but I only wear if I am dressing up for something. If I saw a woman at a wedding make up free I would probably envy her that she looked so well without it, that's if I noticed. My grown up dds only wear it occasionally too. It is ridiculous that some people think you are not properly groomed without it. Sexist bollocks.

I love make up and would feel underdressed without at least mascara and lipstick. MIL is wrong, not making an effort is not washing and wearing the same clothes 3 days running.

Another one here who never wears makeup, I just have zero interest in it. I do wonder how often I have been judged and found wanting because of it, I suspect very rarely because most people aren't that shallow are they?

I don't think it's got anything to do with being lazy, but I am very lazy anyway so hard to tell.

I never wear make up. I gave in and got "made up" for my wedding and I wish I hadn't. I honestly think I would have looked better without it, it wasn't me.
Your Mil is an idiot. Does she demand men wear ties or hair gel some other item to show they have made an effort?

I didn't wear makeup for my wedding, My SiL did and looked a bit odd.

I think you have to be used to wearing it and comfortable. I'd have itched my face off, not a great look!

@AndroidB

Watch this fabulous Ted talk about women's grooming - she takes off all her makeup and strips down during the talk.

As she explains at about 6mins 16 seconds into the video, she chose the topic because she has a 7 year old daughter who asks her Mummy, Why do women wear makeup and men don't?

Ask your MIL to answer that question!

Apparently, a woman who doubles her grooming time decreases her earnings by 3.4%

I rarely wear it, because my skin is a nightmare and I'm so much more comfortable without.
It's my face, I'm not being told to improve it for the sake of someone else's opinion and neither should you. She's rude

Tell her to get stuffed. Only wear it if you want to. IMO as long as a person is clean and presentable then it is no one's business whether they have make up on or not. Ignore her.