To think its prattish to "thankyou-shame" strangers in doorways.

[wirlygig]

Like most generally polite people I say thank you when I see people going out of their way to hold a door open for me, unless I'm really distracted. But today, I walked into a busy shopping centre straight after a man and briefly took over hold of the door that he'd pushed open, before the person behind took it over from me. The man in front hadn't needed to pause in any way, but he immediately called over his shoulder "Thankyou!" in a sarcastic voice. I instinctively said "Thankyou" back to him in a similar tone, followed by:
Him (sarcastic): "Nice to get some politeness from a lady!"
Me (ruffled and unimaginative): "Sexist pig!"
Him: "Lesbian!"

I left it there, but it upset me enough to cut short my shopping trip and come on here for a moan to get it out of my system.

Sometimes people don't say thank you to me too - it happens to all of us - but surely only a complete prat behaves like this?

At least his friend had the good grace to look embarrassed.

but surely only a complete prat behaves like this?

Only a complete wouldn't say thank you in the first place.

Meant complete prat wouldn't say thank you.

You both sound ridiculous, to be honest.
You should have just ignored him.

Hmm tricky. As he didn't need to pause I wouldn't have instinctively said thank you (I don't think) but I do say thank you a lot... So maybe I would. I probably wouldn't have responded to him either

Surely its more prattish to not say thank you, even if its not a conscious effort to hold open the door they are still being polite enough to do so. Manners cost nothing.

It is a pet peeve of mine when people don't say thanks..............sorry OP.

The conversation that followed was horrible.

This is probably the wrong reaction but I almost loled at the use of "lesbian" as a put down. Just incase he hadn't already made his complete knobishness apparent..

Yeah sounds prattish to me! It annoys me a bit when I stand aside for someone and they don't say thank you. But if I all I had done was basically not let a door fall in someone's face then I don't think that deserves being had a go at for not saying thank you. I hate these kind of little situations that get you upset because you can't go back and fix them or have your say properly. Something similar happened to me recently and I cried for about half an hour afterwards it was so pathetic!

could you not just have said "oh, sorry, my head was in the clouds" if you were distracted? I mean, unless you think it's ok not to thank.

Manners are for every time, not just when you're undistracted/can be arsed/think the other person is worth acknowledging etc.

If that makes me prattish, then I'm prattish and proud of it.

I would've said thank you, even if he didn't need to, he still did it. Manners cost nothing. I say thank you sarcastically, only when its super obvious I went out my way to do something for someone. It's my pet peeve people having no manners, it's just rude. Manners cost nothing.

Although if you sarcastically replied saying thank you (rude too) I wouldn't have replied, I would've just rolled my eyes and walked off. The lesbian comment was uncalled for, as was your attitude

Only a complete prat wouldn’t say thank you in the first place

This. Would it have hurt you to say thank you? In terms of the sarcastic thank you, I would ( and do) say exactly the same to someone who behaved as you did.

Good Lord, neither of you were at your best, were you?

I do get a bit cross when I or one of my family hold a door open, a swathe of people come through, and no-one thinks to either say thank you, or to take the damned door. I've been known to let it swing shut. . .

You both sound very annoying

You should have said thanks. But you both sound as childish as each other for what followed.

It doesn't sound like he done anything to be thanked for though, he opened the door for himself, you took over holding the door when he was through, honestly he was being ridiculous , and his comments to you show what an idiot he is in general!

Using lesbian as an insult is a new one on me... I think you encountered an incredibly twisted and obtuse human being above all else.

I don’t like it when people forget their manners though I have to say. There’s a bridge near my DCs school with an incredibly narrow pavement, two people can’t walk side by side. As a result I have made my DC’s stop and wait for others to pass through and none of them have ever thanked me. Today a man did it for me and another woman, the woman in front didn’t thank him so I made a real exaggerated point of thanking him.

I think people walk around with a real air of entitlement at times, it’s frustrating.

My DH will very loudly say ‘no need to thank me; OH, hang on, you didn’t!!’ Or ‘you’re welcome’ in a very obvious way. He can’t abide people who don’t show appreciation.

Sometimes I think he’s asking for someone to have a go back one day, but ultimately it’s rude not to say thank you it takes no effort even if his was minimal.

Sorry but I cannot tell you how much I detest people not having the grace to say thank you. Although the conversation that followed was horrible, I can't see why you didn't just say 'sorry, thanks' and move on.

It really bugs me when people don't say thank you.

His attitude wasn't great but neither was yours. Why not say thank you in the first place?

You both sound like a pair of prats.

YABU. I always sarcastically say 'you're welcome' when people dont say thank you. It is a pet hate of mine, so so entitled.

Why didn't you just do the decent normal thing and say 'thank you' instead of creating a MN thread about it and inventing a new category in 'thank-you shaming', which is not even a thing . Do you really have nothing more interesting in your life?

Yeah, you don’t get to claim the moral high ground here. Neither of you comes out if this covered in glory. You both behaved in a ridiculously juvenile manner and thus cancelled each other out in the prat stakes.

Hmmm. It is one of my pet peeves when people don’t say thank you when you allow them to pass, and I occasionally say something too. It is just bad manners.

I can’t believe this was a real exchange between 2 adults 😂😂 like really??