AIBU to be upset at friend charging us to visit?

[snoozy2straws]

Old friend and Godmother to my DD, we arranged in Jan to visit her and her hubby who live in Southern Italy with our 2 DCs. We are staying for 5 nights. We spoke today to make final arrangements and she has asked us to pay her £800 plus food for the stay. I’m shocked and deeply upset as it seems so callous and commercial, not the visit to friends we had expected, besides which we really cant afford it. I would have been happy to pay £100 p/head plus food but this seems a lot. I feel like not going but what would I tell DD she is so excited. We are staying in their house so not even an annex or separate apartment! I should have got this clear at the outset but I did not expect this 5 days before we go!
What would you do? AIBU? Is this a fair deal for a summer holiday in the sun with the use of a pool but in their house with them?

Do you think her DH has imposed this cost? It's ridiculous

No way would I pay her a penny. In fact I wouldn’t go now at all. I would rather pay for a hotel, b&b or villa.

She is being completely unreasonable in saying she’s going to charge you this close to you going.

I agree, I’m not English and I find it annoying too. I don’t say things I don’t mean, but I also make sure not to take what other people say too seriously and I always err on the side that they’re probably just being polite.

OP - if it’s Puglia - you can get a 2 bed apartment/villa with pool and/or sea view for around £500 for the 5 days on Airbnb.

Ok so I have just spoken to her and we have had a very frank, open and friendly chat ...phew!!! She has apologised for the hefty sum and we have come to a mutual agreement that we are both happy with and it is all amicable.
Thank you all for your comments, it gave me the confidence to talk openly with her which was great. I can now get on and plan my holiday xx

Look on Holidu. Plenty of villas with pool in southern Italy this summer for £216 upwards for 5 nights.

I think I’d rather pay somewhere else than stay there. She’s ruining the friendship.

Have a look for a last minute air BnB. You'll find one cheaper.

Also OP I wouldn’t go either, I think I’d probably take the hit on the flights and get some kind of last minute deal elsewhere.

I’m sorry, it’s always horrible when friends let you down like that!

Oh I’m glad to hear your update! I hope you’ll have a lovely holiday.

This is genius.

I like on a very popular, large city where a bog-standard hotel is close to £275/night.

My spare room is in constant demand. If there’s a big concert or sports event, I have a litany of people who I haven’t seen in years just randomly ringing to catch-up and then suddenly remember they’re going to be in my city for a show/event and wouldn’t it be lovely to see each other while they’re here and they’ll let me know what hotel they’re at if they can find one because they’ve already called three and they’re so expensive they’ll probably have to stay hours away.

What, OP???? Can you elaborate a bit in discussion as I am a bit confused? Did she apologise? What was said??

What dayswithay said. They've decided to price the buggeration factor rather than the actual cost to them.

OP seems to have posted under a different name at 7:37, saying she offered to book somewhere for then to stay but the friend insisted they stay with her.

And again just now saying they've talked it through and sorted it out and everyone is happy.

Ok so I have just spoken to her and we have had a very frank, open and friendly chat ...phew!!! She has apologised for the hefty sum and we have come to a mutual agreement that we are both happy with and it is all amicable.

And what was her reason for asking for 800???

Lots of unanswered questions. OP says it's her, her husband and their two DCs.

The host should have mentioned money back in January, not sprung it on them at the last minute.

So I'd have to cancel for this reason.

Asking for a fair contribution to food and wine is one thing, but making a huge profit from friends is quite another.

I wouldn't go.

Did she think £800 was something much less when translated into euros?

Is she still charging you? I would have thought some things from home that you can’t get there,present and a few meals out was more than enough! Anyway glad it’s resolved.

YANBU

I live abroad and wouldn't dream of charging a friend to stay. In fact I have a friend coming to stay today for a fortnight and I'll be driving the 2 hours to the airport to pick her up.

I did say that CF was thoughtless (and I guess I should have qualified that with highly unreasonable for those who are hard of thinking) to spring the charge on OP at this late stage.

I’d rather be ‘hard of thinking’ (though I would never use such a trite phrase) then contort myself into the kind of mental gymnastics you’ve undertaken in an attempt to blame OP for being the victim of a friend who is clearly either financially exploiting her, or so pathologically conflict-avoidant that she’s agreed to comprehensive plans for a visit she doesn’t actually want to host. But it’s an interesting quirk of mumsnet that there will always be some people who find a way to blame the OP, regardless of the unreasonableness of the behaviour they are describing.

OP - glad you found a resolution you can live with!

Very simple then, Des. You are being used. So be frank, 'Oh, I use my spare room as Air B&B, it's £/night.' Or, 'I finally came to my senses! I let out my spare room, it's currently occupied.'

I didn’t blame the OP. Where on earth have you got that from? I was asking her to clarify, since the friend’s behaviour was not what I’d expect from a friend! Sometimes that does mean that the individual is reacting to behaviour that they find unreasonable. Anyway it’s all sorted now so we can all relax and go back to our own lives.

Didn't realise there was an update as couldn't see it highlighted, why do posters name change half way through a thread!