To not use a baby monitor... ever?

[MustardScreams]

Dd is 2.5 and I have never used a monitor for her. Obviously when she was tiny she slept with me downstairs and then in my room. But since moving into hers I’ve never had one. Even when staying in my parents much larger house (I have a 2 bed terrace) and in the garden I just popped inside to check on her.

I’ve seen that parents are still using them at 7(!!!) am I in the minority?! Did everyone use a monitor and I’m just a slack mother?! Yikes.

'
Am I just being stupid here? If they’re silent you wouldn’t hear it on the monitor anyway, surely? And if it’s a video monitor, surely you are asleep at least some of the time, and not watching it constantly?'

When DS was last sick in bed I heard the funniest little sound on the video monitor. Glanced at the screen and he was sitting upright being sick all over the place. They magnify the tiniest sounds that you'd never hear without them so you know when to look.

I used a video / audio one while they slept in the same room as me because often DN would forget to breathe (he used to hold his breath right up until 2 years old) and he wouldn’t make any sounds at night that would wake us up. The alarm would pick things up early and gave me time pinch his ears to make him restart his breathing.

Never used one for our first, kind of never occurred to us. She slept with us til about 6 months then in the next room. When we moved into a bigger house we just never bothered.

Got one with our second as we have a live in nanny. We bought it so she could babysit in the evening from her room and go to sleep when she wanted, rather than having to stay up in the main part of the house. I thought she would also find it useful for naptimes but she's so alert and hardworking she would never need it and I don't think she ever uses it.

Now we have it we use it every night and it's good, we never have to strain to hear him (air conditioning is louder than you realise!!)

But I would never think it's odd not to have one. To me it's a little strange to have one if you live in a small house where you would always hear the baby, have the bedroom doors open etc. We have to keep all our doors shut due to a/c and mosquitos. But whatever keeps you sane, I know lots of people wouldn't be without one!

I had one for a few years as we are on the next floor up and they tended to wake a lot and scream.

To be honest I think it would been better if I hadn't had it though, I think the may have just had to get themselves back to sleep rather than me keep getting up.

Sometimes these things create more problems than they solve.

Never even owned one. Most people didn’t when I had mine. Strangely they’re still alive.

I’m sure you’re a great parent and your baby is fine. I am mildly jealous at your clear lack of anxiety. I had postpartum depression and anxiety and would have struggled without a video monitor in my DDs room. She’s 18 months, haven’t removed it yet. But at 5-6-7 imagine she deserves some privacy, not sure when I’ll make that leap. I can well hear her even without the monitor but just habit now to have it on.

I used them for both. DS 1 and 2 share a room (they are 7 and 2) and we have one mainly because DS2 starts singing at 6:30 am and if I go in swiftly and remove him to our room then all 4 of us get another half an hour of sleep.

And the cavemen question is beyond ridiculous. They all slept in the same space. Cavemen weren’t sleep training tiny babies or making them sleep in their own rooms. Hence no need for baby monitors. Honestly.

@potol you have spectacularly missed the point of what I said. Human babies are designed to need constant monitoring. It's an unnatural state in evolutionary terms to have them sleeping away from the mother, ergo you need to monitor them some other way if that's what you do. You get a monitor.

Did with the first, then realised they were a complete waste of time and money, so didn't bother with the others, they grew up fine.
We didn't used to have them, they are a pretty modern concept and yet we've manage for thousands of years without them. YANBU and I voted

yeah @romany we managed for thousands of years because the baby was always with mum, for very good reason. Just because your children survived I wouldn't be encouraging other mothers not to monitor their babies. Superior or what.

We used ours for all three children. We have quite a big house and garden, and sleep on a different floor from the dc. I would of course eventually hear them without a monitor but didn't want them to get overly disstressed. Plus I'm lazy so didn't want to be up and down the stairs / in and out of the house checking I could hear them.

Yes you deserve the mother of the year award. As for 'slacking off' do you think all those people who cant afford it / no access to it are slackers

I can't remember when I stopped using one. I think it must of been around the time they had a big bed coz then I wouldn't need one. They would come and get me if they needed anything.

I never said I didn't monitor them of course you do. You just don't need expensive gadgets to monitor them If you are a dream for Mothercare, give them your money by all means.

You can use baby monitors if you want (obviously) but they don't make the baby safer, so it's fairly ridiculous to suggest that parents who don't use them are not taking proper care.

I didn't use one but then I went for the old cavewoman version of motherhood which involved being more or less glued to my babies, so I definitely wasn't neglecting them.

But even if you don't do the whole attachment thing, there is still no evidence that they make a baby any safer.