To not use a baby monitor... ever?

[MustardScreams]

Dd is 2.5 and I have never used a monitor for her. Obviously when she was tiny she slept with me downstairs and then in my room. But since moving into hers I’ve never had one. Even when staying in my parents much larger house (I have a 2 bed terrace) and in the garden I just popped inside to check on her.

I’ve seen that parents are still using them at 7(!!!) am I in the minority?! Did everyone use a monitor and I’m just a slack mother?! Yikes.

I use one for my 2 year old. He doesn't always wake up and cry, sometimes he wakes up and goes straight to throwing monster trucks down the toilet etc

We've never used one either. Our daughter was about 18 months when she went into a bed in her own room. If she needs us she just gets out of bed to get us. Or just repeatedly shouts mummy

It’s a bit late to question it now....

We used one because we lived in a big massive flat across two levels and thick walls so we couldn’t always hear. Especially if they’d been sick and had called out for us. Which had happened so I’m glad I could see to them quickly.

I’ve had 6 kids and never used one
My dad was right when he said babies/kids are pretty loud without magnifying them
Never slept through without hearing them

We are in a two bed terrace also and you (we) don't really need one. We have five rooms and can hear each other fart and yawn. I can hear next doors baby cry, I'd definitely hear my own

I have an cheapy Aldi one that I use if we're away or whatever, but I was too frightened to take my eyes off DS for about the first 18 months so it never got used anyway.

I was thinking the same as Snuffalo TBH

No I never thought to buy one when I was pregnant and as I woke up whenever she made so much as a murmur I never bothered 🤷‍♀️ only time I've needed something similar (staying at families etc) I leave my phone near where she is sleeping and get my partner to call me and we leave his phone on loud speaker

I've never used one

4 DC never had one variety of reasons but mostly we coslept and then they were in their own rooms, were in a new build so you hear every creak too.

Like everything else just do what’s best for your family.

How are you meant to know if the baby is in distress if it's away in another room from you with no way of monitoring?

I use an Angelcare breathing mat/ alarm until mine are about 1 year and my oldest (3) still has her video/sound monitor now. Our house isn't big either. I've always been overly cautious I think.

We never did either, not that big a house and if they cried we heard them.

Never had one. I was paralysed by indecision when pregnant so never got round to buying one in advance. Then DS1 didn't sleep away from me for long in the early months. In the day he was downstairs in the Moses basket or out in the pram and at night he was next to my bed in the crib.

DS2 favoured co-sleeping and napping on me so spent even less time sleeping away from me

When he moved to the cot at 6+ months, the cot was directly over the sofa and the acoustics in the house carry well. It was pretty obvious if he was crying. And if he was napping, I'd check on him every so often.

I can see how they give reassurance to people in other circumstances, I just never felt the need.

I still use one for my 3 year old but don’t judge anyone if they use one or not. I’m a deep sleeper and would never wake up otherwise. Surely this is one of those each their own thing.

I haven’t used one as he sleeps next to me at night and in the pushchair in the garden for his nap so I can keep a close eye on him. I think I might have bought one if he’s slept well in a cot in a separate bedroom but I haven’t been that lucky.

We were gifted an Angelcare mat and I never bothered setting it up. I was worried about it causing more worry than necessary, especially as we always followed all the safe sleep guidelines.

On DC2 now and still content not using one. We live in a 3 bed semi, not Kensington Palace, so it’s pretty easy to hear if one of them needs our attention!

@DameSquashalot why? What part i may post suggested that I was the ‘perfect mother’?

We didn't use one for dc1. Used one for dc2 (for an extended time as it had a talk back feature so could talk to dc2 who has additional needs). Used the Angelcare monitor for dc3.

I think it's all down to our comfort level, plus the acoustics/layout of your home, the age of your child and their sleep pattern (dc2 and dc3 woke up during the night for a very long time!).

I do. DC 9 and 7. Live in a mansion. Wouldn't hear them otherwise. To communicate during the day, myself and my DP have walkie talkies.

Video monitor was an absolute lifesaver for us.

I went by the theory that if I child wasn’t left to get anxious or teary in bed, they’d be happier about going back to bed later on. So I went to DD when I saw her stirring and just awake. She never minded naps and bedtimes, and self-soothed easily. I put it down to the monitor.

your comfort level, not "our".

Well you're not Unreasonable or Reasonable ...you make decisions on the life/baby/house you have.

We use one with ds at nearly 9, and will continue to. He has severe reflux, which means he sometimes vomits in his sleep so for us it is essential.

I never managed to put mine down long enough to use one :(

This is really interesting! My parents judged the ever living shit out of me when I turned up to stay at theirs for a weekend and... shockingly... had NO baby monitor! Mum tried to buy one.

Btw.- I don’t think I’m better than anyone for not having one. I think I’m probably seen as rather slack in my parenting ways.

Thanks for the judging though! Love it. Glad you’ve got nothing better to do!

I'd love to have had so little anxiety that I felt a monitor wasn't needed!