To not use a baby monitor... ever?

[MustardScreams]

Dd is 2.5 and I have never used a monitor for her. Obviously when she was tiny she slept with me downstairs and then in my room. But since moving into hers I’ve never had one. Even when staying in my parents much larger house (I have a 2 bed terrace) and in the garden I just popped inside to check on her.

I’ve seen that parents are still using them at 7(!!!) am I in the minority?! Did everyone use a monitor and I’m just a slack mother?! Yikes.

We don't use ours (for nearly 1 year old DS) at night, because we're right in the next room and can hear him, but we do for naps because you can't hear him from downstairs. I do think it's a bit weird that you didn't bother monitoring in a house where the owners (your parents) thought you wouldn't be able to hear if your DS was crying - you must have either been checking so regularly it would completely ruin your own ability to do anything/relax or potentially letting them wake up in a strange place and not going to them for quite a while. I can see why your parents were a bit taken aback.

Never used one.

I never used one with any of mine. I think they create stress, anxiety and a false sense of security.

Snuffalo has it spot on.

I'd love to have had so little anxiety that I felt a monitor wasn't needed!

I was the opposite. I had such chronic pnd and anxiety that the thought of being lulled into a false sense of security by a monitor terrified me and I couldn't bear to use one.

I know we were given a video one which never worked. I remember buying a sound one but can't actually remember using it...we definitely didn't for DS3.

We did co-sleep though and once in their own rooms they didn't wake during the night. I think.

Yabu for posting such a ridiculous poll. Not sure what you hoped to achieve with this one.

It's personal preference.
The people I know who have them for older children, have children with learning difficulties with unpredictable and potentially unsafe behaviour who couldn't otherwise be left alone.

I watched on mine as my middle daughter vomited into her own face silently whilst lying on her back when when was younger. So, was definitely glad I used them back when they were younger. Stopped at about a year each though.

YANBU to not use it in a small house. I'm nbu to still be using it at 5 either though. I can't hear DC from my room, he gets scared walking between the rooms, and he does sometibes shout for me in the night still.

Shock horror, some houses are different, children are different, and/or parents are different.

I'd love to have had so little anxiety that I felt a monitor wasn't needed!

My anxiety was so bad I never took my eyes off him. I was being pretty literal in my last post. He slept next to me till he was 2 because I was so worried he'd die or be poorly in his sleep. I went to bed at 6/7pm with him every night night. I didn't have a bath or a glass of wine for fear of being out of the room for too long or being even slightly intoxicated. Till he was two. It was pretty extreme and unpleasant. But the opposite scale of not having a monitor meaning you're relaxed if you see what I mean?

I mainly only use ours now when the TV is loud enough for any cries to be faint. Typically when we watch a film, I don't use it through the night as I sleep with the door open.

I will probably use it until she is able to sleep in a bed nicely, she's 16 months now. Hopefully transition to a bed at the end of the year.

Depends on your house. Our apartment is old and has thick walls and funny layout, we simply would not hear them if we didn't have one. We don't use it at night though only the evenings

Never had one. We were in a bungalow til DD was two and I could hear the slightest whimper from any room in the house. By the time we moved, she was more than big enough to come to the stairgate and bellow for me if she wanted a drink or anything.

Besides - and this is really, really embarrassing - I'd watched too many horror films involving spooky voices over baby monitors, and I'd have died of fright if I'd heard anything strange on there when I was alone at night! (I know it wouldn't actually have been a ghost, but interference from neighbouring houses is quite common, I think?).

it's fine if you can hear, but not on if you can't. my pil have a big house and we keep one there specifically.

I've had 5 children and never used them. I also don't leave any of my children to cry. The second they are awake, I'm there like lightening.

I don't really understand why you're asking about something in the past.

You didn't have a monitor and obviously didn't need one, why would you need to ask for validation now?

We have one but only take it on holiday when I'm unsure of the layout. I think it depends on the layout of your home. I do think you tune in too.

We were given a monitor (sound only, no video) as a hand-me-down from SIL.

We live in a decent-sized four bedroom detached house, and our baby's room is on the opposite side of the landing to ours, but we can still hear him if he cries when we're in our bedroom, so we don't use the monitor routinely at night.

We can usually hear him from the living room, but would use the monitor if we were doing something loud for a long stretch of time, like watching a film for 2 hours.

We can't hear DS from our garden, so we would use the monitor if we were out there for long stretches, unless we were happy he was soundly asleep (he sleeps through the night).

I don't need to hear him breathing when he's asleep peacefully. The risk of cot death at his age, in a healthy child following safe sleeping guidelines, is vanishingly low. I just need to know when he's persistently distressed so I can comfort him. If I heard every little grunt and moan via a monitor, I'd have to resist the temptation to rush in earlier than needed and risk waking him unnecessarily.

When you've experienced cot death in your family, your child being resuscitated and your child having medical needs ... yes to a monitor so you are able to see they are continuing to breathe. When you have a house you can't hear your child in? Etc

What's with the weird smugness about being out of reach of your child?

I don't see why not having one would be seen as 'slack parenting' it's just another persons choice and very dependent on the layout of your house surely, we have one in our room overnight as 17 month DS is on another floor as the house is 3 storey, also means if he cries I can look at him on it to see if he is stood up in his cot, if he is I know I need to go and see to him but if he isn't he will often drop back off

We don’t use one. DS is still in with us at 9 months (because we’ve still not finished decorating his room!) and our house is tiny. When he goes into his own room I might consider it as he’ll be in the attic (like I say, our house is tiny, we only have room for one bedroom on the first floor) but I think I’d still hear him anyway.

Did everyone use a monitor and I’m just a slack mother?!

Imo using a video monitor is the best sort of slack parenting. If you here a noise you sit and watch the monitor to see if they'll be quiet and go back to sleep. You without your monitor would have already gone upstairs. Where am I? On the sofa. Where are you? Creeping upstairs.

My conscious is very clear about watching on the monitor to see if DS is going back to seep, mainly as I'm 39 weeks pregnant and can't cope with being up and down a flight of stairs with creaky floorboards all night, I don't feel the need to be a martyr so happy to use the monitor

I had a video one for DS. He broke it when he was about 18 mths. For DD I bought a cheap audio one and have used it maybe twenty times. She's 1 now and I don't bother any more, she has a very loud voice!