Mother-in-Law insistent on not taking off shoes...

[FirstBabyOnTheWay]

MY MIL is lovely, she really is and we have a great relationship but whenever she comes to ours - in wind, rain, sunshine - she will not take her shoes off.

Once, she trod mud through our house and the carpet is still brown in that area - it had been raining horrendously.

We are about to buy a new house, with all new carpets and have a new baby due in August.

My DH asked her to remove her shoes but she won't... I don't know what to do? I am actually having the entire bottom floor done in wood because I am too terrified of her messing the carpets up as she destroyed our old ones. (They were filthy and a carpet cleaner wouldn't bring out the mark).

I don't want shoes in the house with a new baby and we show her round the top floor will be cream/beige carpets!

How do I address this? We are allowed shoes in their house and they have carpets from before my DH was born!!!

HELP... AIBU??????

Read this thread with interest. I am in the shoes off camp. I walk a lot - to work, school run, activities and although my shoes often don't look dirty I know that i have been on pavements with bird / dog / fox poo / vomit and the likelihood is that i am bringing some of it in on my shoes. Dog poo is a health risk to young children so I prefer to have indoor slippers. My MiL walks around her house with her shoes on probably because she hardly walks anywhere.

Well good for her, though she should have taken care to wipe all traces of mud from her shoes. Being asked to remove shoes when entering a house unless they are muddy or you have stepped in dog poo is naff and inconsiderate. Many people cannot walk comfortably without the support of a shoe, and btw, do you really want other peoples sweaty feet/athletes foot/verrucas all over your carpet.

Cream carpet is a silly choice, even for upstairs, especially with a young family. Even without accidents it soon becomes grey with ambient dust etc.

-No shoe sign at door.
-Buy nice shoes for her only to be used indoors at yours.

We have a shoes off rule at our house but just a word of warning, my brother-in-law came and walked about (sometimes barefoot) and I later found that I had caught Athletes foot. It then became fungal nail and I couldn't work out how it had happened until he casually mentioned that he had a touch of Athletes Foot, and at last the penny dropped.

Its not rude to ask people to take their shoes off in your home. Its rude to go to somebody elses home and not respect thier house rules.

I would tackle it before she visits, tell her no outside shoes will be allowed in the new house but she is welcome to wear slippers, that way she has the option not to visit 🤷‍♀️

Oh god - let the woman wear her shoes. Your new floors are wood, so easy to clean.

I can't imagine ever asking someone to remove their shoes. What do these people do if they have a party or a dinner? Expect your guests to pad around in their socks? Weird.

Shoes off or no entry. Simple.

Am concerned about people walking about with bare/stockinged feet slipping on wooden floors. Yes, wooden floors are more hygienic but are not homely, and your poor baby-when it starts to crawl! Ouch!

Shoes off or no entry. Simple.

Wow, welcoming.

My babies both learner to crawl and walk on wooden floors and survived!

But those blue things that go over shoes and insist she puts them over hers xx

Wow! This thread is almost totally unanimous. I am shocked

I cannot bear it when people insist on removing shoes. It just comes over as uptight and rude, plus I want people to feel relaxed and comfortable in my home. If you have people over and they're a bit dressed up, do you insist they remove them then too?

Houses are not dangerously filthy the second you walk into them with a pair of shoes on, secondly cream carpets look pretty bad anyway, and it just isn't part of our culture particularly in the UK, so I find this an extraordinary response overall.

Personally I only know ONE person - in my entire life - who has ever asked this (and she's very very controlling), it's SO rare in my experience

Interesting really that you could pretty much identify a Mumsnetter by asking one simple question....."shoes on or off?"

Again,
WOW

The disposable shoe covers, you can get them on Amazon. Sorted.

Lay down newspapers before she comes in, and wherever she goes. When she is ready to leave, give her your vacuum cleaner and ask her to clean up.

Or you could offer her some overshoe carpet protectors to wear. Amazon sells them.

Or she can just take off her shoes next time!

Just say you have new carpets and no-one is allowed with shoes as someone tracked mud in and ruined the last lot. I come from a shoes off background the elderly people manage just fine. I think its disrespectful to ignore someones wishes when you go to their house. I always check, shoes on/off, I’m easy about it at other peoples houses.

Just be firm and say no. Tbf this is really your husbands problem to sort out.

Your house your rules - her house her rules.
Personally I can't stand the thought of dirt and certainly dogshit (even microscopic amounts) etc being on the hard floor or carpet areas in my house - it's disgusting to me.
All of my floors whatever the surface always look fresh, clean and new.

I can understand your house, your rules. But I have mobility issues, and once my shoes are on in the morning, they stay on as it’s such a struggle to get them off (and then on again when going outside again). We have beige non-descript carpets in house and they might get a little marked, but nothing too noticeable (and nothing which a rug doctor every so often can’t cope with). And with 3 cats bringing in their own supper at times.....well being ‘house proud’ has never been a trait! And what about baby sick?

Put newspaper down and you’ll be able to read the carpets. Sounds pretty counterproductive to me.

What you going to do when the Midwife and HV come round? I doubt very much they will take their shoes off because of Infection Control.

woman every Mw and Hv took their shoes off without me or them asking when ds was a baby.

What you going to do when the Midwife and HV come round? I doubt very much they will take their shoes off because of Infection Control.

I don’t care if people take their shoe off or not at my house but I don’t understand this.

In fact I just checked the pictures from my home birth and midwife has shoes off.

I rarely take my shoes off at the door of my house. I wipe my feet though, and the carpet isn't filthy at all.

I also follow other peoples wishes in their homes though.

Is there a reason she doesn't want to - sore feet, smelly feet? Have you offered her slippers?

I admit I hate having to take my shoes off because I am a cold feet kinda gal. But I take my shoes off when I enter people’s homes because it’s respectful.

And I except people to show my home the same respect. I take my shoes off at yours you take yours off at mine.

People work hard to buy things for their home and I think it’s incredibly rude and disrespectful to traipse your dirty shoes all over their carpet that they’ve forked out money for.

Maybe you should start sending her carpet cleaning bills!!

We move into our brand new home nextweek, everything will be new!! I will be asking everyone to take their shoes off, and to bring slippers if they wish..... i will also be buying a spare pair from primark incase anyone forgets 😂...
Put your foot down and tell her!! Its your home not her's treat her to some slippers.