To think that people are weird about non-drivers?

[HennyPennyHorror]

I don't want to learn to drive. I'm mid-40s and just don't want to. Never have.

I catch trains and buses and ride a bike. It's never been an issue for me. My DH works for himself and so he's always been the one to take DC to their friend's parties etc.

He likes doing it...if he didn't I suppose I'd need to reconsider.

People look at me like I'm weird because I don't want to drive. You also see it here. A sort of irritation regarding those who can't drive.

The thought scares me frankly and I'm aware that I'd only be adding to pollution. I never ask anyone for a lift. I just get on with it.

I find people who deliberately move to places with no public transport far far weirder than people who don’t drive

I was moved here by Occ Health and social housing, who have kindly sorted me out with a wheelchair adapted house.

HTH.

What if your eyesight goes or you have seizures and can’t drive? Or even if you break an ankle? What about teenagers? Visitors

Teenagers? They have legs/parents/friends who drive. Visitors also drive. My eyesight is highly unlikely to fail, nor am I likely to have seizures and if I did, why would I hop on a bus?

For all the comments about how limiting it is to not drive, the main limit I’ve found is where we could live. Lots of lovely picturesque villages round here that just weren’t an option. Obviously we picked somewhere that was manageable without a car so that it wouldn’t be limiting on a day-to-day level, though.

They are even more weird about the person who actively choose not to drive even they have the driving licence. I do drive, occasionally. But I do try to walk as much as possible for health and environmental reasons.

I couldn't have worked as a teacher if I hadn't known how to drive. All those bloody folders to carry. In the country it's impossible and we're farmers. We're constantly picking things up e.g. this afternoon I had to get a roll of fencing wire. My mother refused to drive and we kids missed out on a lot.

I genuinely can’t wait to see how all of those pouring scorn on us non-drivers who are incapable of living lives because we don’t have a car cope when running a family car becomes prohibitively expensive. Because I can see that happening within the next 10-20 years.

And all 3 of my then teens had passed their tests at 17. DD and DSS love driving. Other DC dislikes it but lives opposite tube station in London and has said she will have refresher lessons when she moves out of London.

Another long-term non-driver here (am in my 50s now) though technically I can drive a car and passed my test in 1988. I think the last time I drove a car was early 1989.
But I have pretty much always lived in London and simply would not move to anywhere that didn't have a decent public transport system. I use buses, trains, trams etc to get wherever I want to go, taxis if absolutely stuck though I'd rather not because they are too expensive. Quite a lot of my good friends, also longterm Londoners, are equally car-free, so giving/getting lifts doesn't really come up.
Also, I do a lot of trading events and am very good at getting a lot of heavy luggage around the country on public transport, though I spend a lot on suitcases...

It is only limiting if you let it be. I go where I want to go, I have moved to where I am from further away in the British Isles than most people on this forum have been.

I do not understand the people who pollute our environment deliberately because they have to use a car built for 5 people when there is only one person travelling (stand at a bus stop and watch the cars go past in the daytime, it is sickening).

when running a family car becomes prohibitively expensive. Because I can see that happening within the next 10-20 years.

Why would that happen?

My DH doesn't drive and it is absolutely infuriating. He also refuses to learn, which I cannot fathom. Luckily, I really enjoy driving but it would be nice to share the burden occasionally.

Driving is absolutely a necessary life skill and I agree with the PP who said that it should be taught in schools.

I don't drive because I'm hopeless at it. I had lessons for 18 months and was as bad at the beginning as at the end. There are lots of things involving co-ordination that I can't do - dancing, any kind of ball game, holding a fan of cards or similar in my hand. I think I am just poorly co-ordinated, full-stop.

It annoys me when people equate non-driving with hopelessness in other areas. This happens a lot on Mumsnet - someone only has to mention they don't drive and they get a barrage of criticism from drivers. Yet people who aren't able to manage other areas of their lives, e.g. their finances or career get lots of support - no one goes onto those threads and says 'Just make the effort not to buy things you can't afford' or 'Just make the effort to get a better paying job'.

I think as a nation even if we do drive we should all make more environmentally friendly decisions with regards to whether a car journey is really necessary.

^

This

I find the fact that people insist on getting in their car to to go around the corner to the shops when they could walk even stranger than people who don't learn to drive. DCs school has lots of parents that insist on driving their DCs short distances and causing pollution and chaos with inconsiderate parking while they have a natter at the school gates. The idea of walking anywhere is just beyond them. Time to give those that do not drive for whatever reason ( anxiety, health issues, cost etc.) a bit slack as there are more than enough cars on the roads already.

The Venn diagram is funny, although I don't think it applies to the OP here.

It is hard to think about not driving when you are used to it. While cities like London have great public transport, if I need something I am used to going out in the car and collecting it - I hadn't even considered that until someone I knew who lived in London was trying to get DIY stuff!

I have given many children lifts to parties and events, because my DD has had friends with non-driving parents. Obviously we are going anyway, but it would be nice to have the favour returned sometimes.

I don't mind non-drivers or think they are weird (even if the fit into the Venn diagram ) for whatever reason they don't drive. It is up to them. I find driving makes life easier for me and my family - there again, we have a very frequent bus service but only the one bus and one route to the nearest town. It takes a very long time to get anywhere here by public transport!

I don't know how anyone can go through life without the skill of driving in this day and age

I can't imagine being so narrow-minded as to think my way was the only way to live life.

What do you think bus,taxis,trains and two legs are for?

Given that plenty of people don't drive and are fine, it's by definition not an Essential Life Skill, no matter how many times people make it out to be one.

I also don't want to drive. I use public transport or sk for lifts if none available.
Would never ask someone who I knew wouldn't want to do it.
Normally, dh, kids, extended family and close friends.

I don't drive. I get the bus usually

My DH drives and has a car but we're in a big-ish city and live close to the centre. Never felt the need

It's just that in the Venn diagram of people who don't drive, people who are generally helpless at life, and people who constantly expect others to help them out, there is a large central section

Brilliant

I didn't learn until my 30s amd it was life changing.

I would feel vunerable having children and not being able to drive them to a dr's appt or hospital if I needed to.

The people in my family who don't drive also just don't pull their weight generally in their relationships. They accept favours in the form of lifts but don't offer them back.

MIL didn't babysit for us because she decided not to drive anymore. She has a licence and access to FIL's car. She lives about 4 miles away and does cycle but not so keen cycling at night. If she drove her car babysitting would be much easier and she would probably do it.
Similarly she doesn't ever take dd out by herself because she doesn't drive. FIL does drive but can't be arsed with GC.

Friends who don't drive are unable to do many activities and days out unless I drive. I find driving tiring so it's annoying to be the driver all the time. Most don't offer petrol money, it tends only to be drivers who think to do this.

I am guilty of prejudging non drivers as folk who place limits on their own life experiences, live their lives in a time inefficient way and place a financial and time and energy burden on others. It's a lazy and intolerant judgement though and in modern times there is less and less need to drive. If you have excellent public transport where you live that clearly makes a big difference too and I'm glad that there are fewer cars on the road.

So for the world as a whole I thank the non drivers but speaking selfishly it can be annoying.

when running a family car becomes prohibitively expensive. Because I can see that happening within the next 10-20 years

one would hope in that case that public transport becomes a lot better.

I suspect a lot of men don't mind their wives/partners not driving because it keeps them in control.

I only learnt when I was 32 and moved from London to a smaller city. In London a car was unnecessary but I’d find inconvenient without one now. I made sure my ds has lessons at 17 as I think it is a useful skill.

I remember being on holiday in Florida and a US local chatting to us. I mentioned I didn't drive and she asked if it was for medical reasons. She couldn’t understand anyone not driving. She then starred talking to me really slowly as if she thought I had a disability. Really odd.

It was funny watching the drivers squirming when petrol was rationed years ago and given to essential users only.
They had to either car share which people should do anyway, or catch public transport.

My closest friend doesn’t drive.

He has no need to, lives in a city served by good public transport.

What a waste of time/money to purposefully learn something you’d have no use for!

I think it’s commendable when people decide as a family not to own a car and to cycle or take public transport instead. Perhaps occasionally hiring a car for necessary journeys etc. A much healthier, more environmentally friendly way of life and quite admirable.

But I don’t understand people who don’t learn to drive bit essentually need a car and then rely on other adults in their lives to give them lifts. It seems like deliberately putting yourself in a childlike position.

I didn’t learn to drive until I was in my 30s, as I lived in central London and just genuinely never needed to drive. But when I moved to the suburbs and had children, it was very clear to me that if I didn’t learn I was going to be dependent on my DH, Mum and other relatives/friends in a way that didn’t sit right with me as a grown woman.

(There is also the wonderful feeling of freedom you get when you jump in to you car and think to yourself ‘I’m a grown up, I’ve got a car and I can go pretty much anywhere ’...but that might not be for everyone).