To think that people are weird about non-drivers?

[HennyPennyHorror]

I don't want to learn to drive. I'm mid-40s and just don't want to. Never have.

I catch trains and buses and ride a bike. It's never been an issue for me. My DH works for himself and so he's always been the one to take DC to their friend's parties etc.

He likes doing it...if he didn't I suppose I'd need to reconsider.

People look at me like I'm weird because I don't want to drive. You also see it here. A sort of irritation regarding those who can't drive.

The thought scares me frankly and I'm aware that I'd only be adding to pollution. I never ask anyone for a lift. I just get on with it.

I dont drive and have had a few lessons which technically I did well but my last was through the middle of a very busy city centre and I just couldn't trust the other drivers/ cyclists/ pedestrians. I have dreams in which I drive. Once it was a tank! My dh drives and enjoys it. My children live within walking distance to school and when at work, I either walk or get the bus, weather depending. My friends know and dont care that I cant drive. We either meet up close to my home or they offer to pick me up or I get a bus/taxi to wherever.
I am not incapable or a CF and no one has ever remarked about me not driving. I've never really thought about it until this thread!

She said 'I use trains, cycle and walk; book a taxi if I need to' therefore one can conclude that the majority of her journeys aren't being taken by car. This isn't that hard.

I dont think the attitude is negative towards non drivers, more I couldn't imagine the disruption I'd have to run my life without a car given my job, interests and location so it surprised me when people don't drive. I accept that's my own driver-centric view.

Other than that I couldn't care less unless there a non driver who whines about how hard things are for them, expects lifts or scrounge lifts or does the hint hint hint thing to the point of awkward, who expects everything to got around them (e.g. drivers doing hour long drives to catch up rather than meet in the middle because 'it's harder for me with not driving'). That's a cheeky person problem though, not a non driver one.

Some of the laziest people I know drive and make the shortest trips constantly in the car instead of walking. Always 'nipping' somewhere. I've walked everywhere with my daughter, the rest by bus or train, she was a fantastic walker from a young age. I'd like to think it's far better to walk to the shops for that pint of milk then jump in the car.

I manage to walk her to pre school and get on the bus to work. Come the weekend, whatever we do be it beach, Woods, moors, town, day trip somewhere further afield, we do by public transport. We manage. Read books, colour, chat, eye spy.

I don't judge anyone for driving, so feel sad for anyone narrow minded enough to judge me. If you've decided I've failed at life and am not a real adult, that's on you. Hopefully I'm raising my daughter to be a little kinder and tolerant to others.

Where you live is critical for a non-driver. I can easily understand why it's less of a priority to Londoners. Small towns with a good range of services and decent public transport connections to larger towns can be easily viable too.

Suburbs can be problematic if everything connects via the city centre. I could survive without driving, and have a decent range of facilities nearby and access to the city centre, however any other suburb becomes 1-2 hours away. I didn't drive for 3 months due to a tough pregnancy and birth, and it took 2 hours to connect buses to the hospital for an outpatient appointment. It's a 20-25 minute drive. Even with struggling to park at peak times, there is still no advantage to the bus.

I struggle to understand non-drivers who live in areas with very limited (if any) public transport. A friend's parents are facing this struggle as the driver is in the early stages of dementia and declining driving ability, and the non-driver will either have to arrange to move away from their home for retirement or be stranded 10 miles from any services, and taxis are hard to come by in that kind of rural setting.

I've known people who are independent and get themselves around very effectively. I've known other people who've prioritised everything other than learning to drive, starting a large family early, living out of the way in an expensive, nice suburb and then do nothing but moan and protest when other people make plans that aren't the limited options along their only bus route or when their partner is unavaliable to ferry them.

I learned to drive after university so I had a few years of getting myself around in areas with decent connections. Having a car makes anywhere accessible and solves baggage issues, but it isn't always the greatest option. I'm glad that I am able to consider transport options beyond my car, but I would find it very restricting if driving was not an option.

I lost my driving license a year ago when I was diagnosed with epilepsy. I can't reapply until my epilepsy has been controlled for a year. That's at best April next year

I feel like my legs have been cut off. I live in a small semi rural town with very poor transport links. I feel trapped and hate relying on my husband and friends to get anywhere. My kids school is a good drive and I feel frustrated if there is a problem and they can't get the school bus we are up shit creek as my husband works long hours.

Weirdly I feel I have to explain myself that I don't drive due to medical reasons. Perhaps because I do feel I am judged as an enforced non driver. I am lucky enough to be able to walk to work and they have made concessions for my disability as apparently an inability to drive due to health reasons is considered to be.

I find car owners more lazy, timid and drippy TBH. Too wet to get on a nightbus because eww, common people! Going out for the evening means them whining about where they can park, not wanting to drink because they are driiiiiiiiiiiiiving so they sit there with a face like a smacked arse and moan every time you want another glass of wine; going out for a lovely country walk means more whining about parking and having to get back to wherever you left the car rather than finding the next bus stop and taking a different route home; utter utter cluelessness about bus and train and tube lines.
And they often don't know how to pack efficiently, either, because they just throw twice as much crap as they'll need for a trip into their cars.

Hopefully you never let them give you a lift then.

I couldn't care less if people don't drive, less people on the roads is a good thing. But I bloody love my car ❤

People who offer you a lift are the fucking worst, because they try to cajole you into it whilst expecting to have their feet licked clean for the Enormous Favour they are offering. And no, I don't accept, ever.

People who offer you a lift are the fucking worst, because they try to cajole you into it whilst expecting to have their feet licked clean for the Enormous Favour they are offering. And no, I don't accept, ever

How odd.

Not as odd as finding the remotest place in Britain for your Sunday stroll

I think its best you stay off the roads tbh boris

I also simply can't envisage any circumstances in which I would move to a place with inadequate public transport. Work? I have several income streams, all of which I can do from anywhere.

Oh, and the PP who said, but if you have to get a taxi somewhere it's just the same as being a car owner. don't be bloody daft. Who would own a car on the off chance that maybe once a year they might want to go somewhere that's only accessible by private transport?

Not driving has certainly kept me fit. I had no trouble losing baby weight as I had to walk to all my appointments and to do shopping.

Once my DC were old enough to leave at home, I'd get a big shop at the supermarket and put it in a massive rucksack and ride home with it.

I think people get irritated when someone doesn't drive but expects lifts from other people on a regular basis. If you're quite happy getting public transport, cycling, and your DH is happy to drive you places too then I really can't see it as anyone else's business.

I find it irritating. Work colleagues who can’t drive at all, can’t drive manuals. It’s the reliance on other people to drive them, pick them up etc. frankly I find it inconsiderate.

I don't think it's weird. But I do get a bit annoyed when my non driver friends don't understand how it feels to drive. So like they see it as me being as chilled and relaxed as they are as passengers. Like I'm just sitting the whole time anyways so they don't see it as a big deal for me to drive for like 3 hours without a break etc. Or will ask me to change lanes in a roundabout suddenly or cut lanes or pull up at some random (dangerous) place for them to jump in because they don't understand the road rules. Or will talk at me when I'm trying to listen to the sat nav because they've never experienced the mental juggle that you have to perform when trying to follow all the road rules, keep track of all safety aspects like other pedestrians, other cars, road signs, checking your mirrors, traffic lights - whilst also trying to navigate streets you don't know AND listen to the sat nav.... Like they just don't know and will never know how hard driving can be. It gets annoying.

Yanbu...i only learned at 35 due to environmental reasons and prob would not have bothered if i didnt live out in the sticks.
Cars are a major factor in climate change...no wonder the environment is screwed thanks to the pro car attitudes of the majority.

Vehivle - that does sound horribly annoying.

Morning! Just had a quick look through the messages on this thread and a few things strike me:

In a 12-page thread with hundreds of responses, about three of you mention climate change. For me, this is a very big reason not to drive. Ok, so one decision by one person makes little difference, but they all add up.

Public transport is for everyone, not just elderly, kids, disabled, although it’s a vital lifeline for those people especially in rural communities (and I grew up in one). We are seeing transport links to rural areas cut to almost nothing, leaving those unable to drive effectively stranded. ‘Everyone should drive, then’ is not an answer.

Driving and the strange social politics of lift-giving is, for me, just another sign of the times and of toxic individualism. Only in a culture that despises collectivism, nationalised public transport and shared resources could someone actively resent offering lifts when sensible and sharing.

Ok, < gets off soapbox and awaits critique>

Driving is fun.

I struggle to understand non-drivers who live in areas with very limited (if any) public transport. A friend's parents are facing this struggle as the driver is in the early stages of dementia and declining driving ability, and the non-driver will either have to arrange to move away from their home for retirement or be stranded 10 miles from any services, and taxis are hard to come by in that kind of rural setting.

I'm in a rural area, and yes the bus service could be better, but it is what it is and as I've never driven and don't have an OH, so it's all I've ever known. Like anyone else I factor in my travel time to any trip anywhere, and it doesn't occur to me that I could get there faster in a car because I've never had that option.
Would my life be easier with a car, on the face of things, probably, but it wouldn't affect anyone else like my lack of car doesn't now because I get where I need to go under my own steam. I don't get what other people struggle to understand about the fact legally I am clearly not up to the standard required to drive on the road. Several failed tests and a hell of a lot of money (even buying a car at one point and driving with my brother for more practice) and I haven't reached the standard required to gain a license. When money and time are in short supply anyway, where's the sense in continuing to waste both on a skill that I'm clearly not improving at?
I'm not lazy, and I'm not thick - this is one area of my life, one. There's so much more to me than the lack of a driving license. I'm about to get ready and walk 20/25 mins to the shops, and I'll get the bus back with my shopping, I time it right so I'm not sat about waiting, get some exercise and to where I need to be to do what I need to do, and take the dog too, so she gets a walk as well! What's lazy or thick about that? And how on earth does it affect anyone else how I get my shopping? All the drivers I know would drive it, then struggle to park because it's a small area, and complain about that, use fuel and add another car to the road for a journey that can be done on foot and public transport easily. I also have a pass for the bus, £20 a week and I can get anywhere in the region for that - cars cost more than that. But it's each to their own, I don't judge those who would drive it as being lazy for not walking instead, or too thick to work out the bus timetable.

When all cars are electric what will happen to all the hot air generated by car haters about the environment?

Let me guess, it will then become about how there’s too much plastic etc in cars?

So tiresome.

More investment in public transport would definitely be a good thing (privatisation having fucked a lot of it up over the years.) Pay for it by making private car ownership more expensive - but improve the public transport first...