AIBU to tell you that you don’t need to be unhappy with your body.

[Iwalkedaway]

I’ve just been reading another thread where lots of posters talk about how attractive they were when slimmer, as though being overweight is out of their control!

I definitely don’t want to come across as negative or patronising, but for the vast majority of people (excluding those with health needs, of course), weight is entirely within your control!

I’ve always been moderately slim, but in the last few years I’ve lost about 3 stone. At almost 40 I’m the smallest I’ve ever been! To achieve that I;

Got into yoga.
Eat less calories than I burn (monitored on fitness tracker)
Swim and weight train sometimes.
Drink less alcohol.
Will do random, ad hoc exercise through the day, squats whilst the stirring the food etc.

So many people seem sad about their weight gain on here, but it’s absolutely a choice! If you’re unhappy change it! It’s absolutely possible

I kind of get what the OP was saying. I was 3 stone overweight, now 2 1/2 stone down. I lost the weight over 2 years by cutting down, moving more. I still have treats and alcohol but I am more mindful of what I eat and when I get the opportunity I exercise. I am 54, and thought losing it during the menopause would not be possible, but it was. And now I kick myself that I did not do it earlier. Consistent effort seems to be the key, but also getting rid of an all or nothing mentality. Had a piggy day, cut down the next. Before I would have said, I have blown it, pass me the cake.

In this country, we seem to live to eat. There are so many reasons why that is, but we love to self sabotage ourselves with all manner of stuff that is bad for us. You can change your mindset to stop it.

People are so sensitive about the subject of weight, you just know that when these threads appear there is a pile on to insult the OP.

@CassianAndor.
You're correct she did.
She didn't however, mention people who may be time strapped, have family needs or simply don't have the motivation due to other factors.
I'm not overweight, unfortunately despite best efforts i'm very underweight, but that's simply due to nature. I'm like a twiglet with tits, however i have the decency not to patronise others about their shape or lifestyle however small or large.

But er, do carry on frothing.

The only thing that's frothing in this quarter is my coffee.

Because being 'time-strapped' or having 'family needs' are often exactly the 'reasons' (read 'excuses') people like me use. She's challenging them. But so often on MN people simply cannot or will not look beyond the end of their nose, and really hate a mirror being held up.

Personally, I'm all in favour of my state of affairs being challenged. I can ignore threads that I know are nothing to do with me. I don't feel the need to pile on to those threads and make them all about me, and my own individual situation.

The OP has inspired me, I've been thinking, as I creak out of bed every morning, that I really need to do something about this. This thread has made me realise how much of my day I waste. Yes, I have DC and a full time job and other caring responsibilities, but I also sit on my arse too much of the time. I need to prioritize my health and fitness if I'm to make it through my later life with any degree of comfort.

And there are plenty of people out there like me, I have no doubt.

I think OP intended to inspire.
Health issues aside most people can improve their weight and fitness level.if they choose too.
Small steps can make big changes.
I think those with MH issues would benefit the most.

Cassian - losing weight for health reasons is the best reason to do it. That is why I did it. I creaked when I moved, groaned when I got up etc...losing weight has made me feel so much better than I was, and it's that that keeps me going.

Somebody downthread said they admired their friend's willpower losing weight and keeping it off, but that it didn't stop her DH from having an affair. That of course is one of the worse reasons to lose weight and I am sure her friend just wanted to get fit. Thought that was a bizarre post.

I’m sure it’s already been said but pretty much everyone knows what to do to lose weight - thanks for the info though.

The often complex reasons behind people not doing it is the barrier that needs to be overcome on a case by case basis though.

It’s very irritating to for people to have their difficulties dismissed so airaly...

An alternative could be the realisation that our worth as people is not defined by our physical appearance.

While it is generally good to be healthy, the idea of dedicating every waking minute to the desire to be thin is not.

Wow - most of the outrage here summarise why people are getting fatter - yes there are outliers for whom it is hard to exercise and control food but the vast majority of people just eat too much of the wrong food - is it really that hard not to eat a piece of cake, drink water not full sugar coke, vegetables not chips?

I am 2 stone overweight - I would like to lose it but not as much as I like to eat what I want and swerve the gym. There are no difficulties here .. just an attitude problem. I dont have moral outrage at what the OP is saying as she is -in my case - correct. Small changes do make a difference..

Moderately slim then lost 3 stone...

@CassianAndor I'm a fellow creaker who has been trying to sort myself out a bit. A combination of walking just for an hour a day (most, not all days) and yoga stretches has massively helped to sort out my creaks, aches and back pain. My doctor recommended both to me. I think the walking maybe just works because I'm not sitting on my arse stressing my back while I'm doing it though! But the yoga definitely works. When I say yoga I don't mean Sweaty Betty legs over my head looking fabulous stuff either (think more ol' lady relaxation yoga for beginners in church hall-style). I've also lost some weight by cutting down my portion sizes - mostly of pasta, rice and bread, which I was scoffing mountains of before. I still have all those things but reduced amounts. Everything has to be small steps with me or I tend to flake out and just give up.

Everyone's questioning the OP's "moderately slim, then lost 3 stone", but it could work... when I was 11st I was slim ish (BMI of 24, size 12, no visible wobbles) but I've also been 8st and healthy.

@OP but for the vast majority of people (excluding those with health needs, of course)

@thefrothingmasses fuck off, what about my health needs?

The OP is completely right, and what's more, everyone knows it, but most are in denial.

miamiamiamia I am 2 stone overweight - I would like to lose it but not as much as I like to eat what I want and swerve the gym. There are no difficulties here .. just an attitude problem. I dont have moral outrage at what the OP is saying as she is -in my case - correct. Small changes do make a difference

mia is one of the few posters who is being honest.

@RottnestFerry I meant carrying guilt about spending time exercising rather than spending it with the dc. You don't often hear men lamenting the choices they make at the expense of time with the DC - and I'm not trying to be provocative. I just think women in particular, particularly those working ft, may be prioritising their children over their exercise.

@Runningonempty84 I think you're right that much is about time management and somehow finding time if you're motivated enough. But the other part of the equation is a job and lifestyle that means it's slightly easier to accommodate exercise. The simple fact is, I don't get up early to exercise because I choose a longer lie in. That said, I think I probably could put my lunchtimes to greater use. I commute by train to London twice a week (4 hour round trip) but on the other days I work from home and so I've decided to get on the exercise bike at lunch and in the evenings when the DC are in bed. I used to enjoy running but broke my ankle in March and still recovering (developed a DVT too) - I've been told that high impact is not on the cards for the foreseeable future and going swimming takes too much time out of the day.

I think I've just reached 40, have been sedentary for 3 months since breaking my fibula, got shit scared by the DVT and have to find the time, somehow, to get fit again.

Can people commenting about “most people” please just speak for themselves? You don’t know “most people” in the world or even the UK. I don’t even know “most people” on my estate, let alone speaking for what they could do or what they feel.

I don’t speak for “most disabled people” or “most wheelchair users”, I can only speak for myself. As should you.

Happy I would love a church-hall style class! Unfortunately I live in hipster central.

I also need to sort my arse out - even DD commented on my flat bum!

Can people commenting about “most people” please just speak for themselves? You don’t know “most people” in the world or even the UK. I don’t even know “most people” on my estate, let alone speaking for what they could do or what they feel.

You don't have to know most people personally to know most people aren't murderers, most people don't drive a Bentley, and most people who are overweight could lose weight is they ate less and did more.

Most people haven't been to the South Pole, but are still able to say it's cold.

Since you have it all solved, could you tell me the simple solution to not being a fucking idiot?

Thought not.

Lifecraft how can you possibly know that most people haven't been to the south pole? Have you asked all the people personally??

I'm fed up of the stupid 'eat less, move more' comments about/to fat people.

Consider:

Anorexic? - eat more!
In an abusive relationship? - leave!
Poor? - earn more money!
Depressed? - be happy!
Anxious? - relax!
Kids playing up? - get them to pack it in!
Hoarder? - clean up!
Alcohol dependant? - don't drink!
Fat? - Move more, eat less!

All reasonable statements, but clearly unhelpful since road between the problem and 'solution' for most people is so long and complex that the latter isn't really the solution, but the result of it.

The dicks pretending not to know this can fuck off. If you need to take swipes at other people to assuage your ego, you're doing being a decent human wrong.

wotsittoyou has summed it up absolutely perfectly. Wotsit, you rock.

I personally was waiting for the OP to post next about multi level marketing

Well I'm fat and fabulous. My boobs are magnificent.

Squat off, OP.

We have to exercise whilst doing chores as well? Nothing would drive me to reach for chocolate and wine more than that prospect.

That's a very oversimplified view of why people have weight problems. It's not just lifestyle. IME for many, many people it's a tsunami of emotions & unresolved issues that mean you use food as a comfort & prop: that leaves you in a self defeating circle of being depressed then eating. Then eating more because you're depressed you're eating & beating yourself up over having no control.

I think what the op is saying is that there's two types of people- which are you??