AIBU to tell you that you don’t need to be unhappy with your body.

[Iwalkedaway]

I’ve just been reading another thread where lots of posters talk about how attractive they were when slimmer, as though being overweight is out of their control!

I definitely don’t want to come across as negative or patronising, but for the vast majority of people (excluding those with health needs, of course), weight is entirely within your control!

I’ve always been moderately slim, but in the last few years I’ve lost about 3 stone. At almost 40 I’m the smallest I’ve ever been! To achieve that I;

Got into yoga.
Eat less calories than I burn (monitored on fitness tracker)
Swim and weight train sometimes.
Drink less alcohol.
Will do random, ad hoc exercise through the day, squats whilst the stirring the food etc.

So many people seem sad about their weight gain on here, but it’s absolutely a choice! If you’re unhappy change it! It’s absolutely possible

whataclusterfuck asked: "Do those of you who exercise so much and have young children also work ft? No dig at all - I have a lot of admiration for you - it's a genuine question. "

I work FT, I have two young DC and I'm doing a postgrad qualification that takes up my evenings. I also run at least 5x a week, go to the gym to lift weights, and cycle most days.
I fit it in by incorporating exercise into my commute and on my lunch breaks, as I can't get out in the evenings. I also do an hour's run early on a Saturday, and two hours run early on a Sunday, so it doesn't cut into my time with the kids.

Ok, so I choose to prioritise exercise over other hobbies, watching tv or whatever, but that's because I love it and it makes me feel good, in terms of both mental and physical health. The fact that the exercise makes me slim isn't the main point, but it's a welcome byproduct, IYSWIM.

I haven't always been like this. I used to think "exercise" was walking, or the odd pilates class, or a slow parkrun. It was therefore no surprise that I was carrying an extra stone.
But once I started making time to exercise - which for me meant rethinking my commute and insisting on taking an hour for my lunch - I started feeling so much better that I can't imagine going back. Understand it's not for everyone though, and some people don't have the sort of job that permits them to run at lunchtime.

As for the OP - she has a point, though didn't express it very well. Not everyone can exercise every day. But most people can - they just choose not to, for a host of very valid reasons.

*Priorities. I have a toddler and another baby on the way. I'm running my department at work singlehandedly after my boss quit 3 months ago and my useless company only got round to looking for someone new this month. Need to move house before baby arrives, but no time to house hunt. I go straight from home to work to nursery pick up to home each day. Barely have time to cook healthily (although I try) and I live on toast and marmite through the day. God knows when I'd find time for the gym, haven't been since DS was born.

I need to lose a TON of weight but right now, it's so low down my to-do list that I don't have time to worry about it*

Well you could have done 20 star jumps instead of typing that load of excuses @ArtichokeAardvark ;).

Seriously, people, the OP knows better than you what will work for you in your life. Life is simple on Planet Smug.

You’d have been far better off saying ‘I’m really pleased with myself, I’ve managed to lose weight and found something that works for me’, I think people would congratulate you for that, but you’ve lost that by being so simplistic and frankly insulting to those that for a multitude of reasons are on a different path.

And yes, before anyone says it, I know that men don't carry this kind of guilt with them

I'm not sure that is altogether true. My wife makes an effort to stay slim. I make an effort not to have a big tummy. I probably wouldn't be so bothered if she wasn't.

Fuck me, that link to the Biggest Loser research was depressing!
As someone who has yoyo dieted forever, I'm not sure I like the idea that my body is doomed to go back to my heaviest ever unless I'm permanently hungry...

I think OP - and many other patronising diet-bores - has mixed up simple with easy.

It is simple to run a marathon. You just run. But I bet it's not easy (obviously haven't tried it myself ). Same with losing weight. Health issues aside, you just eat less and move more. Personally, I generally find that really difficult because I like food and have a busy life.

Very very amused that OP thinks she might inspire someone though - as if those of us that have struggled with weight issues might not have heard of her 'helpful' tips before.

I agree with you to some extent, OP - you can absolutely take control of your weight if you want it enough.

I started Kayla Itsines' BBG programme. You can do all the workouts from home, and it's only 28 minutes 3 days a week. I wait until about 8.30pm/9pm when everyone's bedding in for the night, then smash through a workout. By then, you might be tired, or lacking motivation - but the results are completely worth it. You just have to want it.

My wife makes an effort to stay slim. I make an effort not to have a big tummy. I probably wouldn't be so bothered if she wasn't.

If you hadn't posted a pic of your wife doing a deadlift on that batshit thread where OP claimed to run 20-minute 5ks while obese and not even running regularly, I'd be terrified that you were my DH after that comment. Mine also exercises to avoid getting a potbelly and blames me credits me with providing the inspiration.

Iwalkedaway has walked away! She's wound us up and watched us go!

I imagine her squatting and squawking "Mwhaa ha squat Mwhaa ha ha ha squat squat " and so on!

I'm definitely going to adapt her punctuation style though! Basically everything is !

I've given some thought to dieting.
I need 4 square meals a day, so i am going to lock myself away in the shed with a large cake.
I will cut this cake into 4 quarters.
That way i can still have my 4 square meals a day.
So i can have my cake and bloody well eat it.

Mine also exercises to avoid getting a potbelly and blames me credits me with providing the inspiration.

My problem is that I hate exercise so week days I watch what eat and generally don't drink alcohol.

With a bit of exercise I could be the OP's poster boy

Wow who knew that eating less and exercising more would make you lose weight. What a revelation!

I'm physically disabled, unable to walk one step without being in pain and using a walking frame. I only eat one meal a day but am still overweight because I'm pretty much housebound and sitting most of the time. Perhaps I could go out jogging?

Use your imagination OP (if you have one) Not everyone is the same and we can do without your patronising twaddle.

I don't mind the OP - she's right, for a lot of us, including me. I could totally fit exercise into my life and my reasons for not doing so don't stand up to much scrutiny. Instead I creak and don't run for the bus and allow my increasing lack of fitness to slightly bugger up my life, which could become 'really bugger up my life' as I get older.

Easy to slag off the OP than get off my backside, of course.

@CassianAndor.
It's not the fact that the OP is stating the obvious, its the patronising manner in which its delivered.
I'm not defending larger people, but the OP would do well to remember where she is posting.
A lot of posters on here have issues such as baby weight, PND, disabilities and time, etc. It's not going to be easy for those posters to just think 'oh i'll just pop out for a quick jog' or whatever.
The OP may have well as posted 'IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT THAT YOUR FAT, YOU THICKO'
She may have found the time or energy to do something that others may struggle with.
There's such a thing as tact, which seems to have disappeared along with her weight.

May as well have posted.
I think my brain is still on my pillow today.

Why didn’t I think of trying to shift the 6 stone I’ve gained (since various auto immune diseases decided to become active in my body - now semi-controlled by meds) by doing a few squats while making the dinner - oh, maybe because my joints don’t work, yep, that’ll be it! ‘Scuse me while I just go and pop another moon face inducing steroid would ya!

OP...there is an enormous amount of privilege showing here. You are assuming that people are well and or have the ability to exercise, the money or time to 'clean up' their diets, and you are also perpetuating the absolute myth that we must be thin in order to achieve health. Good for you, OP, that you've been able to lose weight, and now everything is sunshine for you.
I'm probably a good 4 or 5 stone overweight, and I'm content, confident very healthy and very, very happy in my plus sized body after about 30 years of disordered eating and exercise addiction. Please don't pretend you're all about health...you have no idea what is going on with anyone in the body they are in, so just work on yourself, and mind your business!

You're welcome to join me in my shed @MildlyMiserable

Honestly, if losing weight makes you this much of a dick I think I'd rather be fat.

Not that OP is reading the thread anymore. She's jogging down to her local needle exhange in her active-wear to inspire and motivate all the heroin users "hey guys, don't bother picking up those clean needles, did you know you can stop being an addict? It's easy! Just stop injecting heroin! You're welcome" (Lunges out of the room).

The thing about food is that it's absolutely everywhere, there's no getting away from it. If you're an alcoholic and you're determined to take control the problem you can avoid pubs, stop buying alcohol, ban it from your home completely, distance yourself from friends who drink heavily,...and it's still incredibly, incredibly hard to resist the temptation. But you can't go "cold turkey" when it comes to food. You can't avoid it so you have to learn to moderate your intake which when you're dependant on something is often harder than stopping altogether. That's why alcoholics aren't advised to just "cut down". The reasons for overeating are often complex and highly emotional. Hence the strength of the responses on this thread. Many people who are very overweight or obese can trace the start of their overeating or their unhealthy relationship with food back to a time of great pain such as a relationship breakdown, bullying at school or a bereavement. It's not always as simple as "eat less, move more". So for the OP, who by her own admission has never actually had a weight problem to tell people who do that it's "easy" is not only a dick move, it's a display of complete ignorance.

To be fair OP, it must be awfully hard to overeat with your head stuck that far up your ass.

@BouncingBanana
Thanks 😉
Usually I’m meh about these, but today I’m scrolling and reading, waiting for the meds to kick in so I can get dressed, drive the 18 mile round trip required to the hospital for blood tests, just so the GP can give me more meds to keep me and my big old moon face going 😂

@HulksPurplePanties
👏😂

I've seen the light! I've just done 15 squats whilst dropping off some donations at the Oxfam shop. I squeezed in 20 more in the dentist waiting room, and 37 at the library while they tried to locate my reservation. School pickup this afternoon- I'm sure I could squat many times in the playground. Who's with me?? Ten sets of 20. Let's go!

@yourekillingmeman so are you suggesting I am deluded? In what way please do tell.

I do have pcos and underactive thyroid so it is a whole fucking lot harder for me but I am deluded as it doesn't fit your fucking narrative

Bouncing only the OP clearly states 'excluding those with health issues'. Clearly. In her OP. For all to read.

But soooooo much easier to ignore that and have a go.

She is obviously aiming it at people like me, who are overweight, not especially happy about it, but full to the brim of 'reason's why we can't make a change. I'm a grown up. I can take it on the chin.

But do carry on frothing.

As for the OP - she has a point, though didn't express it very well. Not everyone can exercise every day. But most people can - they just choose not to, for a host of very valid reasons.

I run 7k five times a week, do 30 minute of weightlifting 4 times a week, walk & swim all weekend, etc.

I used to do more, but my reward for that was 2 herniated discs in my back and a leg full of stress fractures.

I'm still a fat fuck.

Exercise actually has little to do with weight maintenance or loss.

Or maybe I'm fat because I'm missing the yoga.

You're welcome" (Lunges out of the room).