To tell bride to be her fiancé is a bisexual cheat.

[xiomaraV]

Ex friends.

Would you tell the bride that her fiancé is bisexual and not only that, he cheats on her at any given opportunity. Is a sex pest. Constantly messages other women and men. From friendly chat to pictures of his penis.

He has done this to numerous people including myself, and had bragged about sleeping with another woman. He's also messed around with men.

Do I tell the bride before she marries him? I've always thought I wouldn't get involved especially after our friendship fell apart. But now it's closer to the wedding I feel like she should know.

She may already know these things!

If you have fallen out let one of her other friends be the one to tell her.

Oooh this is a very tricky one! Why are you ex friends? I'd probably tell her but be prepared for a major fallout.

Then if that's the case it wouldnt matter is someone told her.

Assuming she doesn't know. Should she?

If your friendship has fallen apart already, then maybe.

There will still be fall out. Lies about you may be said/ spread. As may uncomfortable truths.

And she may not believe you. Would need wording very carefully, to not come across as bitter because friendship has fallen apart

Sounds like my exH, who is getting remarried soon... I would leave it. You won’t be thanked for spilling the beans and it really isn’t your business to be honest.

We are ex friends because he stalked me and made me feel really uncomfortable. What started off as 'banter' soon got much worse.

He was my friend. And I got friendly with her through him.

I'd love for someone else to grow some balls and tell her. Because I really don't want to do it. I really doubt they will though

Did you know about this when you were still friends? If so, why didn’t you raise it then?

As you're an ex friend, I don't think you should be the one to tell her. She should hear about from someone who she knows has her best interests at heart.

Yeah then. Assuming she knows why your friendship fell apart she won't believe you.

Leave it be. It isn't yours to sort

On the basis of 'I'd want to know if it were me' and tge marriage being doomed to fail from the start - YANBU.
BUT...If You are doing it out of spite - YABU.

I think I would but only if I could give her proof - eg copies of messages/ texts/ photographs etc.

Have you any evidence? The extreme likelihood is she won’t believe you, so you need to be clear, balanced and show evidence of the truth in whatever message you send. That way she can’t reason it as ‘jealousy’.

Jeepers, that's a difficult one. Also, bloody hell!!

Maybe she knows about his sexuality? Maybe she doesn't mind and they have an open relationship? Probably not, but you never quite know what goes on in people's relationship. I'd always err on the side of minding my own business, but I see why you feel like you should say something, especially since her health may be at risk given his alleged sexual behaviour.
Just be aware that if you do, she may say you're jealous or sabotaging etc etc and you may end up in the firing line.

@wineandroses1 I ended our friendship when he was behaving inappropriately towards me. He told me just before then that he'd cheated, and that made me realise that his pestering me wasn't just a one off because he was confused. Since then numerous people have told me about the same messages he's been sending them. Literally exactly the same and there's no way they are making it up because their story is identical to mine.

Also a gay male who is very open has come out and told a lot of people (not his fiancé!!!) that they've done things together.

If I was the bride I would want to know.

If it was done out of spite I'd have done it months ago. Back then I was just glad to be rid of him and his 'friendship'. But the wedding is getting closer. And I would want to know if I was her.

Lots of you are right and it is none of my business. I just feel so sorry for her.

If you’re friendship is already over, you have nothing to lose. In the process, you may be doing a massive favor to another human being. I would tell her.

I would only do it if I had evidence.

I would let one of her current close friends know. If you two have fallen out it's going to hurt a lot more coming from you or not be believed because she'll assume you're jealous.

Letting one of her friends know is a good idea, but do i remain anonymous. Do I give the friend the evidence? Also- do I give others names who he's done this to!!

Wether it's true or not, this is entirely going to be repackaged and thrown back at you as you just being bitter, jealous and spiteful.

If you're ready and willing to accept that then go ahead.

@OldUnit that's really sad. Basically she's stuck marrying him then?

Isn’t it strange now she’s an ex friend your willing to tell her but when she was an actual friend you said nothing........

You do just look a spiteful bitch, stirring the pot now tbh

@P1nkHeartLovesCake if you read the thread you will see while we were friends I didn't know he was a cheat. I'm no longer his friend BECAUSE he is a cheat.