... to not tell my militantly vegan friend she ate fish sauce?

[Snuffalo]

I am a relaxed vegan, as are one of my kids, the other kid and my partner are mostly vegetarian. Basically what that means for me is that I would never spend my own money on animal products, and I wouldn't use them in my own cooking, but if someone else prepares food for me or I'm a guest in someone's home I'll eat what's put in front of me, for the most part - I won't have a sausage or a burger at your barbecue, but I'll eat the pasta salad even if has cheese in it, and I'll have some of your birthday cake even if it's made with eggs.

Anyway, my friend Alice- who is a militant, rather than a relaxed, vegan

• was over and I heated up what I confidently thought to be vegan sweet potato and black bean chilli that my partner had made earlier in the week. I know the recipe backwards and forwards because one of us makes it at least once a month with zero animal products so I had no reason to suspect otherwise. I must say it was especially delicious this time - because, as it turns out, my partner added some fish sauce because he'd read somewhere that it's good in chilli. I didn't find out until today and now I'm wondering if I should tell Alice? I can't decide if, in her shoes, I would want to know or not. Would you?

Lol to thinking that people want to call themselves vegans just to look unique, original, more interesting or part of a special club. as you seem to think.

Trust me that is most definitely not how most vegans are perceived. As this thread has shown only too well.

As I said before, what a waste of an opportunity to promote the benefits of veganism and encourage others to continue, or even start, their journey. Instead you immediately turned it into a silly game of one-upmanship to try and ‘out vegan’ everyone else and achieved nothing in the process.

Not sure what else I expected though 🙄

Dorsetdays
Actual vegans call themselves vegans because they are vegan. Zero issues there. They're not calling themselves vegan for any other reason than a factual description of their dietary requirements.

Non vegans calling themselves vegan whilst eating a load of animal product is absolutely about seeking membership of a club and trying to point out how different they are. Otherwise they'd just accept they aren't vegan and get on with their chosen food choices.

People who are engaged to marry may cohabit and do many things a married couple do, but calling each other husband and wife would be factually untrue. True, they may be on a journey but they are not married so the words husband/wife are not accurate. We don't redefine husband and wife to mean 'anyone who sometimes does some things that those who are legally wed do'

People who are exploring plant based dishes & reducing consumption of animal products (and i would include myself in that) may well eat vegan food sometimes, we may take an interest in vegan issues, but we are not vegan. Someone who eats animal products and will tuck into non vegan cake when it's there is not a vegan.

I'm not sure how that is 'out veganing' anyone.

If I had sex with both sexes would I be a relaxed lesbian?

FFS joystir59, be careful! You’ll be giving the woke ideas! Bad enough that OP is a trans vegan!

Yes to the 'husband' references. If you're not married you aren't husband and wife.

Exactly this. People who refer to their partners as husbands, do it for one reason. To appear married but they are not married.

They have no right to assets and finances in their partners name. Nor do they need a divorce of they split. Its ridiculous to say, husband when you mean partner. It's the wrong word.

I, too, am glad some people think words have meaning.

And yes, it appears 'militant vegan' is code for 'a vegan'.

I eat vegan meals sometimes. I also eat meat, though not often. I am not a relaxed vegetarian or super laid back vegan.

I am just someone who doesnt eat alot of meat.

Proteinshakesandtears
It's so hard being a label-less person who makes whatever eating preferences suit us.

LolaSmiles I know. I feel like my meal times are just label less too. It's just food

Proteinshakesandtears
If it helps, I'm working vegetarian today with flexible vegan all day until tea. Breakfast was all vegan except my milk in my coffee. Snacks were plant based too (fruit). Lunch was flexi-vegan too because it was all plant based except a smidgen of cheese. Tea tonight was vegetarian except the small amount of salami in thr sauce so that's still vegetarian as it was only 3 slices for flavour.

I'm appreciating the journey I didn't know I was on. Until today I thought I was a fairly average person who isn't too bothered by meat who tried to make some conscious food choices. Now I know really I'm a flexible vegan. I can't wait to announce it at work tomorrow as I eat my jacket potato and cheese. They'll totally understand my new definition.

Militant vegan = one of those idiots that attacks people buying meat in a supermarket or eating meat in a restaurant. More than likely on the vegan bandwagon and were probably stuffing their faces with meat when the Atkins diet was trendy.

Relaxed vegan = a person that is a vegan but doesn’t try to enforce it on anyone else.

Bandwagon vegan = a person that wants to be seen as doing the ‘in’ thing and they can brag about it on their instagram. They make it harder for people to be a relaxed vegan by eating things they shouldn’t and confusing the people that think anyone that doesn’t eat meat or it’s products is a weirdo.

Militant vegan=person who is a vegan.
Vegan= everyone else.

Militant vegan = actual vegan

Relaxed vegan = really not an actual vegan or, as it turns out, vegetarian

Militant vegan = someone who chooses to define themselves as such.

Relaxed vegan = someone who chooses to define themselves as such.

Simple 😉

Well my breakfast included butter and milk but the coffee is black so I think I'll define myself as a militant vegan.

I can’t believe this is still going. If anyone’s wondering, I never told Alice, husband still sees fish sauce as a loophole because of Thai Buddhist Monks who will have it as part of their vegetarian diet (still can’t find evidence of this but his Thai mother backs him up), and I am still incredibly amused by the language police and the people who think that typing with capital letters and exclamation points makes them more correct. Do you act like this in real life or is it just here, for sport?

Relaxed vegan = someone who chooses to define themselves as such.

I think I’ll start calling myself a relaxed vegan.

I mean, I eat meat four times a week, but there are definitely some vegan meals in there and I don’t even like milk in tea!

Laurie. Excellent, crack on 👍🏻

Language police? For pointing out that words have actual meanings?

Wether thai monks have fish sauce or not. Fish sauce, means you arent vegetarian. Theres no loop hole.

husband still sees fish sauce as a loophole because of Thai Buddhist Monks who will have it as part of their vegetarian diet (still can’t find evidence of this but his Thai mother backs him up

Whuh? Fish sauce is for vegans because Buddhist Monks say it's for vegetarians?!
It's too early in the morning to even unpick this nonsense, I'm off for some more caffeine lol

and I am still incredibly amused by the language police and the people who think that typing with capital letters and exclamation points makes them more correct
It's not being the language police to point out that vegans don't eat ruddy cheese or eggs.

Do you act like this in real life or is it just here, for sport?
YES I DO SORRY
I can't be doing with numptiness and I can't help myself but call it out lol.
(Albeit in a LESS CAP LOCK SHOUTY WAY

Your household isn't vegetarian, let alone vegan OP. Stop it with the wankery, then people will stop policing your misappropriation of labels that don't apply to you.

I just told my husband that Mumsnet has declared him a non-vegetarian over his m fish sauce, he said he’ll be sure to update his paperwork and inform the proper authorities. As for myself- My use of the word vegan - with a clear qualifier- to describe the food and products I spend my own money on, and my repeated clarification that I don’t introduce myself as a vegan or even really discuss it unless I’m asked- that’s caused 26 pages of idiotic repetitive arguments. if you’re not vegan, or veggie, or “plant based”, if you don’t try to minimise your impact on animals and the environment with your personal choices, why in the fuck do you care what words I use? If you ARE interested in making the world a better place in some tiny way through your personal choices, why would you work so hard to make it a binary, exclusionary, difficult thing to do or to talk about? No one reading this thread who was on the fence about cutting out or reducing animal products would be encouraged. They would think that vegans are complete twats who inspire complete twattery in non-vegans. I’m inclined to agree.

I just told my husband that Mumsnet has declared him a non-vegetarian over his m fish sauce, he said he’ll be sure to update his paperwork and inform the proper authorities.

HE'S NOT A FECKIN VEGETARIAN THEN!
Sorry, I'm doing the shouty thing again lol.
If he insists on labelling himself, he's a pescetarian.
FFS enough of this batshittery already

Oh and for what it's worth, I'm not vegan but I do eat a lot of vegan food as a family member is.
I still eat meat and fish, but if I was to eat meat on a fish on a Tuesday and Friday that doesn't mean I can call myself vegan because most of the time I eat vegan'ly (is that a word? it is now lol)

You dont need a clear qualifier to tell people what food you spend your money on.

That just says you use the label of Vegan to sound special.

Your husbands sarcastic answer says it all really. Neither you nor he understand that mumsnet havent declared you as a mon vegetarian. The definition of the word has.

if you don’t try to minimise your impact on animals and the environment with your personal choices, why in the fuck do you care what words I use? If you ARE interested in making the world a better place in some tiny way through your personal choices, why would you work so hard to make it a binary, exclusionary,

I am interested in it. I have massively reduced my consumption of animal products. I am still not a vegan though. The word vegan has a meaning. Pointing out that you dont fit into that description, is not making your eating habits any harder.

They would think that vegans are complete twats who inspire complete twattery in non-vegans. I’m inclined to agree.

No they wouldnt. They would think that word vegan actually has a meaning and that lots of people use it incorrectly.

if you don’t try to minimise your impact on animals and the environment with your personal choices, why in the fuck do you care what words I use?

Because you're the reason it's so bloody hard for actual vegans and vegetarians to be taken seriously when eating out.
Why people think vegetarians can have a bit of chicken as that's not really meat and doesn't count {yes, I really have heard that one lol)
then if they say they don't eat meat, not even chicken or fish sauce they're accused of being militant or have eyes rolled at them and accused of making a fuss.
That's why it's important (blimey really am on my soapbox this morning but never mind