Why can't I say people's names???

[ikkkp]

This seems so weird. I've never said my mums name, never called her 'mum'.
My ex used to call me out that I never said his name in years.
Now current DP has made a comment about me never saying his.
It's something that I feel genuinely uncomfortable with - but it only seems to be people close to me, I'm fine in passing!!!

Is there something wrong with me?

I'm the same. I sit opposite my boss and when I want her attention I have to I have to stand up and make eye contact rather than just say her name!

Never used PIL's names ever. Starting to be ok with using DH's but still makes me feel a bit odd.

DC, in fact any children is fine though.

I call Dp by his surname. It freaks him out if I use his first name. He calls me my first and middle names run together.

I’ve found my people.

I’m like this too! I feel tongue tied just imagining it. I never address DH by his name. I’ll shout out things like “Can you bring XYZ downstairs please?” never “[Name] can you bring XYZ downstairs please?”

I have a lot of autistic traits.

My Dad never called my Mum by her name, ever.
It was always, hellooooo, you there, or similar.
He had no problem with me or anyone else.

Ahhh I'm the same! I really struggle this and it's particularly bad with my husband's parents as I just want to call them "X's mum/dad" and saying their names is somehow super weird. It's so embarrassing but I feel like it's too late to change it now. I have just about learnt to use my husband's name occasionally and I think he's happy as he's stopped moaning about it. But I did think I was the only one. I'm glad there are others out there!

That seems really weird to me! But we all have our quirks so I wouldn’t worry too much.

This thread has made me think. I call my partner by his name but I've never heard him call my name. If he's cooking he just shouts upstairs "serving up now" or "ready".

A previous bf refused to call me by my name and used to call me Angel. The twat probably couldn't be arsed to remember my real name and he knew how much I hate pet names.

My parents are like this. They never call each other by their names, and I don't use mum and dad or their real names either. If my dc are around then it feels much easier as I can just call them grandma and grandad.
I've only just realised DH doesn't use my name either and tends to say "my wife" when talking about me instead of using my name.

I am also like this and I think I’m very weird. It is only with people I am close with too. Kids are fine but don’t ever call my partner by his name, or parents etc. I find nicknames easier to use as well.

I have never been diagnosed with ASD but I have researched Asperger quite a bit and I definitely have a lot of traits and every online test I have done brings my score out to say it’s very likely.

Wow! I read the beginning of the thread thinking it sounded like sheer madness, but on reflection, I cannot remember the last time I addressed my husband by his name or him me by mine. Nicknames only. How bizarre!!! I refer to him by name speaking to others, but never directly. My sister also has a nickname and always has. I rarely have need or inclination to address the in-laws. The kids have names though, although sometimes I do think numbers would be more direct.

I am like this too, and so is my mum. She couldn’t even call my youngest sister by her name until she was at least 8. We had cats whose names she could never say.

There’s certain people I can’t refer to by name (in-laws mostly), and I have a real challenge using nicknames. I just can’t do it.

Just inherited my mother’s weirdness!

Oh god, I'm the same. It feels too intimate to actually say a person's name to their face. I call my DH by his full name e.g. David Smith, which I know is really weird, but I hate using first names. Also can't call anyone by their nickname when talking about them to others. I don't care if you like to be called Sue, if your name is Susanna, then I have to call you Susanna.

It seems like this is a really common thing! I'm actually shocked! There must be a name (ha!) for it, surely? I googled and more than one Reddit thread appeared in the results full of people with this exact issue.

I’m similar... I can say it to him if we’re already talking about something and sometimes we imitate his dad because well yeah we do... but if I actually need him or want to say something or have his attention for some reason I say babes.. I did say mum and dad and have no issues using my siblings names I did have issues with using past boyfriends names...

I actually think I have the opposite problem - I use names a lot - I actually find a comfort and reassurance in using names - like a connection to people. I also find it difficult to change someone’s name, like when I’ve got used to calling someone say, Daniel, and then they are like, you can call me Dan if you like and I really struggle to adjust to Dan, because I have gotten used to Daniel. Same reason I still call my parents Mummy and Daddy even though I am a grown adult.

I am not diagnosed but I have a lot of ASD traits and I suspect I may be on the spectrum so it’s interesting to here the opposite on this thread

Also when my partner uses my first name I know he’s annoyed with something I did or really pissed at me for some reason... or there is a medical emergency

I really struggle to call people by shortened names when I know it's not their full name so I hate calling Matthews 'Matt', Stevens ' Steve' or Sophie's 'Soph' for example. I am the only one in groups sometimes to use full names for some people and I realise it's weird in the moment but it just feels too personal to shorten it. Bit ironic as I use a shortened name of my full name sometimes to introduce myself .

Wow, I'm really shocked by this thread. I have never been able to call a partner by their first name. DH is a pet name and I just can't say his first name to him. I can say his name to other people, just not him. I have difficulty saying Mum and Dad too but can just about manage it. No issues with DS.

I thought I was the only one. The thought of having to call DH by his name makes me want to cry. I have absolutely no idea why.

My partner never has, it is upsetting, he would rather walk all the way upstairs to me rather than just shout me it's weird.

I’m another one that uses names sparingly. If someone uses my name I feel I’m being told off somehow - especially at the beginning of the sentence. It’s ridiculous but it stops me using other people’s names.

I'm the same. If I know my name, and you know my name, there's no real need to keep bringing it up unless necessary for disambiguation.

If you do, it feels like a dominance thing. My parents always called me by my name when telling me off. The more of my names they used, the deeper the shit I was in!

There are so many of us that do this, I'm beginning to think we're the normal ones.

In the 'olden' days didn't couples refer to each other as Mother or Father, maybe just portrayed as that in the movies.

I do think it’s really strange. Why is it too intimate? It’s their name.