To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

paolosgirl I am with you. I have to work as I am main breadwinner. I wish it wasnt so.

Its great that women can hold top jobs and be an inspiration for our children buts please dont lets kid ourselves that we bloody enjoy it!!

YAB(very)U.

I have 2 dd's and work full time, if I could afford to my choice would be to work part time, I would not choose to give up work completely.

Men have always continued to build their careers even after the birth of their children, so why shouldn't women.

Men have always continued to build their careers??

Are you mad?? The person who EARNS the most/has the most earning potential should continue to build the career if you both don't want to work full time. Get with it girls - this is 2007.

I chose to be a SAHM and give up a good career, no one asked me to I chose it because I could not bear handing over my precious child to someone else even for a few hours a day. To be able to do this we moved to the other end of the country, lost a car and have had to cut back on luxuries. I don't regret it one bit once the children are in school I will return to work. It's only a few years of my working career years I will never get back with my children so it's a good trade for me. In an ideal world I would work p/t but I wouldn't want the DDs in a nursery or with a childminder so thats that. It's my choice and I won't justify it to anyone. We each make our choice and as long as we are happy with it then sod everyone else.

A career was always important to me until i had children now it isnt.

I dont feel the need to compete with men after all we are superior by far and I do think that women are better at raising children 'generally speaking' than most men (well i thonk that we are better than men at most bloody things actually!!)

I dont feel the need to have it all as well. Personally I have had more reward from seeing my dd develop than any job i held.
go on shoot me

Well, fuck work!

Why not just follow these folks' path - just pop out as many sprogs as possible and rely on the government to sort it out.
mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2750&threadid=361258

Ouch

agree with comment -"People who have large families should accept financial responsibility for that decision."

Yes we would all love a big family but we CANT AFFORD IT!!

no excuse for this kind of scrounging

Work is all bloody politics and one-upmanship - well, it is in the NHS.

On the other hand, you do get to go to the loo without some little person standing outside demanding to know if you're doing a poo or a wee, and you do get to eat lunch in peace/have a hot cup of tea.

For the above reasons only, I will be returning to work p/t when the wee man is a year old. Oh, and to pay the mortgage.

i went back part time after dd was born but we moved to a better area earlier this year for schooling and so on and i had to move to full time but i can work the hours in four days so i get fri off

but week after i moved i discovered im pregnant again!! not looking forward to going back after mat leave this time...

You'd have to pay me huge sums to want to spend more than 2 or 3 hours a day with my 5 children and I'd rather be dead than not have or see them. Not everyone wants 24/7 and not all children are best off with that. As people say below there are 250,000 househusbands in the UK. There are women who cannot safely be home with children for mental health reasons. There will be housewives who are so awful to their children every day the children would be better with a loving nanny. There is work many of us do which it is better we do for the good of others and in most cases children are better off anyway with both parents working so there isn't even a good argument for it.

I could go on to say that housewives in 2007 shoud be ashamed of themselves and how dare they show their faces etc etc...

Xenia

WHY did you have 5 children?

gogetter, I am also interested in your answer to Leati's question:

"Here is my question though...alot of men work crazy hours. Is there a different standard for men then women? "

Because she wanted to, Chocolate.

At least she didn't have them and expect the taxpayer to pay for their entire living as a family.

there are some nutters on mn

Xenia hopefully your children dont feel the same as you do about them

It is easy to have children, not so easy to be a mother

I went back to work 3 days a week when the last 2 were both 6 months - couldn't wait. Now I know how fast the time goes when they're little that I'm not in any rush to go back and leave this little 4 month old 'surprise'. I'll be back at work for the next 30 years or so - he'll never be a child again, and I want to see all the milestones (or as many as I can) - not some nanny.

Engaging thread title but I don't have time to read the whole thread. In answer to the question, I would say unimaginative rather than unreasonable.

It just struck me as odd that someone who could not spend time with her children would have 5 of them

I know it doesnt come natural for some mums and they usually have one and decide thats enough!

Chocolatepeanut - but I think Xenia does actually enjoy having her children and spending time with them. She's honest with herself and others on here about the bits she didn't like that much. It so happened to be the ones when they were babies. It could have been the teenage years. Why is it so damning to admit to not liking the baby stage? Where did you get it that she doesn't love them or hadn't wanted them?

Agree, Chocolate.

There are 4 of us in our wee street who have kids. 3 of them only have one, because their careers/nice holidays and hotels (her reasons, not mine)/nice house/time to themselves/mental health were all important to them. None of them wanted more than one for those reasons. WHy then have 5??!!!!

Also, how many mums do you actually know who said it didn't come natural to them and they stopped at one? I know a few mums of only one child (whose children are 7, like my DS, so maybe they'll have some more in the future) but I have no idea why they stopped at one, if it was the not feeling natural or some other reasons. I am reasonably sociable and chatty but I just don't ask these kind of questions. Of course, I could just speculate and post on MN instead.

Paolosgirl - you've just made an error. You said they had one child. Not 5. Or are you saying Xenia's motives are the same as those women's you know?

Was this whole thread started just to attack Xenia? I don't know her and don't agree with everything she posts, but you are lesser women than her if you feel the need to do this.

i never suggested that she doesnt love her kids! Yes its very honest to admit how you feel but to state that someone would have to pay her large amounts to spend time with them suggests somebody who doesnt really enjoy motherhood? Maybe i got it wrong? But thats why i asked why then have 5

See below - and I know a few more who have other reasons (miscarriages/infertility/death).

No error here, Cristina.