To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

cristina

I think xenia can defend herself and after all with comments like

I could go on to say that housewives in 2007 shoud be ashamed of themselves and how dare they show their faces etc etc...

she does kinda walk into it

Motherhood is not limited to the nappy stage. A baby is not just for Christmas, they grow up. Perhaps she loves that bit, when they are older. Unfortunately, you can't get to the older stage without going through the younger stage. So she gets help for that.

I know too well she can start a fight in an empty room let alone one populated by MN-ers.

What she actually said was "You'd have to pay me huge sums to want to spend more than 2 or 3 hours a day with my 5 children"

That would indicate that it's the whole babyhood/childhood thing she doesn't enjoy - in which case, why then have 5?

Anyhoo, I'm not attacking anyone. You've kind of jumped on the bandwagon.

xenia is a very clever woman. she comes on here and makes outragerous statements that she knows will wind people up.she is probally having a good laugh.
why shouldn't she have as many children as she wants. she loves them and looks after them. I think it is wrong to question her on that.

[sighs] obviously this mum does not have pnd - I'm not that heartless!
Poster below phrased it well - the priorities is the thing that I find frustrating.
Plus all those that keep repeating 'mind my own business' etc - you can't tell me you haven't judged someone on MN? This place is a goldmine for anonymous judging! Hence everyones code names?

i think i would question why anyone who said "You'd have to pay me huge sums to want to spend more than 2 or 3 hours a day with my 5 children"

but your right its her choice and who am i to judge

we all have a different view and we all think we are right,doesnt make it so though does it?

anyhow heartburn kicking in and baby bouncing on my bladder. i can safely say this is one stage of motherhood i dont enjoy!!wish i could rent a womb at the moment!

I don't know what bandwagon I've jumped on. I'd imagine that if Xenia had to stay at home and spend more than 2-3 hours a day with her 5 children she'd have done it. She might still have come on here and said she didn't enjoy it. Unless she was so browbeaten about the whole experience she wouldn't have dared have her own voice. Anyhow, she does have her own voice so I'll leave her to it.

CHOCOLATEPEANUT i am a sahm and have had xenia telling me how to live my life in the past...just not worth the arguement.

Anyone got the number for Boden?

2shoes how r u my babesxxx

doormat long time no see. i am fine just getting nervous as fist secondry assembly tomorrow. hows you?

msn

not daring to show her face in case Xenia calls her shameful

as to the op - each to their own.

doormat I am of to bed now.

ok babes catch up with you soonxxx

soz for the blatant hijack

Oi - don't stop the thread - I'd just climbed onto my high horse, and had dusted down my clever clogs in preparation for further battles!

My best friend went back to work 2 weeks after the birth of all three of her sons. Had maternity nurses / full time live in nanny / choose to only bottle feed / had babies induced early and epidural put in from start so to not feel any labour pain. Has spent many holiday away from the kids, including leaving the baby at 7 days for 5 days. Admits she doesn't like the new born stage and likes the boot camp for babies approach to parenting from the start!. She says it straight, makes no excuses for her choices and is happy in her decisions.

Now with her youngest 2 years old she has become a sahm and fully involved with the boys lives which she loves.

My choices were pretty much opposite but we respected each others although neither could completely understand them I have to admit it was an eye opener for me to have such a close friend parent so differently to me but also refreshing to have some one decide that is how she was going to do things and to just get on with it without worrying about her decisions!

zazas...must say your friend doesn't sound that nice...I mena, I can sort of understand most of the things but...had her children induced early ( I assume there was no medical reason for this, by the way you describe it)....now, how selfish can one get to put your child unecessary into danger....shudder....but that is a whole different topic.

It wouldnt be my choice, but I dont think women that choose this lifestyle are bad mothers or morally wrong in some way. I do think that children need their parents for more than an hour a day - but if childcare arrangements can be juggled between two loving, committed parents and a good nanny/au pair / grandparent etc, I dont see the problem. I thin k it would be terribly hard on a child if both oarents worked long hours and made little time for home life. Parenting is a huge responsiblity, and there is definitely an argument to say if you don't want that responsibility - dont have kids.

p.s. PLEEEEEEEASE dont turn this into a raging 800 post SAHM vs working mums thread. Zzzzzzz...

Not going to read the whole thread (am assuming an element of SAHM/WOHM bust up has inevitably raised its ugly head).

Simply in answer to the OP question. YABU, sorry it is simply none of your business how people choose to live their lives in this istance. As long as the childcare in place is good that is all that you should be concernec about. (I am a full time SAHM btw)

Chocolatepeanut: i think i would question why anyone who said "You'd have to pay me huge sums to want to spend more than 2 or 3 hours a day with my 5 children"

So you're questioning all men then. Or most of them.

Oh, but that's OK, because they're not biologically designed to nurture. They're not unnatural like those eeeeeevil women who (gasp) have help with their children and only see them EVERY DAY and all weekend!

Your approach is so very 1950s I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm still in the c21st.

I think just because we are living in the 21st century doesn't necessarilly mean certain things are better. There's lots of thing's i think were better 'back then'.

At this point I personally wish that I had the ability to go to work full time and not be with my kids. Not because they are boring and uninteresting, but I am simply not capable of providing them with the best care myself, and to bring them up. I am just not good enough. I rather pay someone else to do it for me. Not a nice realization, but hey.