To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

so women can change nappeius if htye are padi to ( and of he correct social class abut NOT out of love cos hey ae their mothers)

Why on earth would I want to change nappies - and risk getting poo stuck under my french manicure !!!!

I had 3 maternity nurses: one for baby, one for me, one for dh plus
night nanny
cleaner
housekeeper
laundryman
handyman
gardener
dog walker

Fantastic, would thoroughly recommend. I felt positively refreshed at the end of each day, I can tell you.

no jimmy choos here- I sacrificed them for the cost of the nanny, and occasional night nanny cos I couldn't work on no sleep.

How evil am I- I have worked since ds2 was 4 weeks old. And he is gorgeous and I love him to bits. I don't find the 2 things incompatible.

I can hardly bring myself to contribute to this thread. It's not like anyone is going to change their views - it is just one of those issues that completely polarizes people.

I am returning to work full-time when my son will be eleven months old. I choose to work because I want the security of a pension, savings and the opportunity to use my brain for the work I have trained to do. My life, my choice.

My friend is choosing to stay at home. Good for her. But she worries constantly about the security of her husband's job.

I just happen to work for an organisation that is flexible regarding the hours I work and who recognise that work isn't a place it is what I produce. The fact that I am very flexible in return I am sure helps.

gogetter

they are RICH

get over it

that is how the rich live

But - maybe they are not THAT rich - but to afford the lifestyle they like, that you described, she needs to contribute her salary !

You don't know, no-one can tell, you shouldn't judge !

Like the OP I also wonder "why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays". But then without the Dads doing this there wouldn't be any kids. Oh, sorry, you weren't referring to dads, were you? They are OK, as long as they bring in the money.

I've had DS in nursery from 8 months old. I've been at home with DD for 2.5 years so far. I have a similarly loving relationship with both. We are having another child soon. If I stayed at home for the first 5 years of each of them as someone suggested, that would take me 13 years out of work. What if we wanted another after that? Another 5 years. Or should I squeeze them all out in quick succession so I only take out the minimum amount of time. Smacks of social engineering, don't you think? And to what end? What would be the benefit of that to my family?

"BMW, jimmy choo's, massages weekly, private midwife, personal high flying designers decorating their house all point to the fact that it is not a financial decision.
"

that is RICH

fairy nuff

Wot, WWW? No personal trainer or chef?

You were deprived!

I disagree ! It is materialistic - but you really don't know - mahybe her salary affords that stuff ! I know I work to pay school fees and for nice stuff - not for the necessities !

"all point to the fact that it is not a financial decision."

Blimey! Someone tell me the secret, how do you get all that without money?

well, I think the op mihgt actually question the way they seem to prioritise....i.e. what is more important all that cool gear or time wiht your child....I know, for myself, which one I would choose, but you can't make the choices for others...

So it's not a financial decision. Maybe she's got PND or a mental health problem she doesn't care to share with you.

I had.

Mind your own business.

I went back for financial reasons, but still, I do have a colleague who had mental health problems and she found it helpful to return part-time a bit earlier.

cristien
YES id havethem fast tbh

its shite to work fillt iem when you dont haev to imfo

Cod, you change nappies out of love?!

I did it out of necessity

DDD, you criticise women who SAH and have nannies.

I'd love to be able to afford that - company in the house, not having to wash and dress everyone to nip for a pint of milk - obviously only works if you get someone with the right personality, and I'd not like a live-in nanny - but wow, the thought of adult company and a bit of freedom to nip and get your hair cut without having to plan or bribe children to sit in buggies - lovely!

yes love and care.
all sorts of grim tasks are done for love

Good on you, Cod. Have them as fast as you want. Not all that healthy, though. Someone might judge you on that, you know.

polised off three in 4.5 years
all still fine.

ithankyou

If I didn't have to work for financial reasons, or if I earned the big bucks and dh didn't have to work, there's no way on this earth that we'd go to work and leave them with a nanny f/t. Miss all the amazing things they do? Not on your nelly, smelly.

I am parping because threads like this piss me off so much I could get violent

Cod - good to hear. So what? Are you putting yourself forward as the perfect model? We each do things in our own way and life is different for each of us. What if someone has a new partner or one of their child dies? There are so many reasons for big age gaps between children. Don't be so foolish as to think you know them all.

I had mine close together so we could 'get the baby stuff done in one swoop'

nearly killed me [insane]

I wouldn't want to work f/t or put my baby in childcare

if I didn't have a lovely MIL for childcare, I wouldn't work

just my opinion, I have friends that do but it isn't for me