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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross about visitors not liking my dog

444 replies

calamityJayne1 · 14/06/2019 19:03

I have a Labrador who is the daftest dog you’d ever meet.

Due to my work children and parents visit my house. They know I have a dog who is harmless yet people still make comments like why is he barking and I don’t like dogs and physically wincing if he comes near them.

This is only on arrival and I put the dog in a different room for the duration of their visit, but I am getting really tired of anti dog people making comments and someone even asked me to ensure the dog was locked in a different room on arrival!

Given the fact that new people are informed I have a dog and he’s playful and barks I don’t understand people’s reactions. I understand not everyone likes dogs but why can’t people stop act like snowflakes and move on?

AIBU to feel totally fed up and only invite dog friendly people to my house?

OP posts:
NauseousMum · 14/06/2019 21:56

I find it weird to have your dog greeting people when you are acting in a professional capacity. Dogs, like kids,don't scream professional to me. Either on show would make me wonder how seriously the work was taken. Unless, of course, your job is related to.your job or someone else for their kids.

I'd shut them all away. Or make it clear you have a dog who will be there in the mix, not shut away, and they can decide to engage your services or not.

Sparrowlegs248 · 14/06/2019 21:59

I'm a dog friendly person but no longer visit a good friend at her home due to her bloody crazy dog. It's a large spaniel and it's absolutely nuts. If she puts it outside it barks constantly. If it's inside it charges around jumping on people, furniture, being generally badly behaved. It's impossible to have a proper conversation although she seems immune to it. Is this the case with yours?

shitpark · 14/06/2019 22:00

I would train my dog to stop barking on command, to not greet visitors and settle in a dog bed or cushion, or on a blanket it the corner of the room.
I think YABU to expect people to like being barked at by a dog

SarcasticFringehead · 14/06/2019 22:02

What's to like about your dog - barks, smells, irritating energy. I already don't like it.
YABU. However, I'd simply not even go to your home if I knew you had a dog - what is it that you do that means you must inflict this beast on innocent, unwilling people?

Butterymuffin · 14/06/2019 22:02

a dog who "just wanted to say hello"

These are the worst, since they usually have owners who assume the dog gets to decide how you interact.

Allhailthesun · 14/06/2019 22:02

Does it not concern people that the perception of a “ good dog” is one that meets a ever changing criteria of human judgements, Rather than being a friendly dog whilst exhibiting normal dog behaviours ie barking.
In this age of veggie/vegan, animal rights it worries me that people will only judge animals to human standards.

Pearlofthesea · 14/06/2019 22:28

Why is a dog who barks at a doorbell deemed ‘untrained’ I thought that was normal dog behaviour.

The information doesn’t say the dog jumps over people or smells, why do people feel the need to create their own version or make assumptions?

Why would anyone care or comment about the potential lack of income?

I don’t understand people - I don’t want to either.

Just crazy

applepieicecream · 14/06/2019 22:40

I have a dog, he’s my third son, but he’s little and not jumpy. I absolutely hate big dogs, especially Dalmatians and German shepherds. They frighten the life out of me. I would be petrified if confronted by one of them

Whocutdownthecherrytree · 14/06/2019 22:41

A dog that barks at invited guests is a poorly trained dog and not something I’m comfortable with. Besides if people KEEP telling you there is an issue with your dog, it sounds like it’s time to listen

carla1983 · 14/06/2019 22:43

As someone who was a dog sitter, I find this post ridiculous. People come to your home and physically wince in fear at your dog coming near them and you feel the problem is them?

So many people on this thread say YABU. And you are.

If you can't understand some people are scared of dogs then don't invite people into your home - simple. But don't get upset when people don't want to be around your dog. Some people do not like dogs and most people do not like badly trained dogs.

LilQueenie · 14/06/2019 22:43

are we related? I don't like dog drool on me, I have a phobia. If a dog is barking and refuses to stop on command its not a trained dog and likely not as behaved as you think. I have a relative who thought the same as you. She stopped getting visitors.

ScreamingValenta · 14/06/2019 22:46

A dog that barks at invited guests is a poorly trained dog

How is the dog supposed to know whether a visitor to the house is invited or not? Confused

Unless your dog can read the RSVPs on the mantelpiece, visitors can only fall into two categories - 'people I met' (a la Arnold Rimmer) or 'people I haven't met'.

churchgate · 14/06/2019 22:47

He sounds protective and that's a good thing. It's his home, if they don't like your dog then they don't have to come round.

whitehalleve · 14/06/2019 22:49

Sorry, but YABU.

Marvinmarvinson · 14/06/2019 23:02

I dunno. I don't think the UK is a nation of dog hating 'snowflakes'. Quite the opposite. So if you're finding lots of people being unhappy around your dog then it might be worth considering if the problem is your end. The people I know with barky dogs who are excitable when people call round tend to shut them away, at least initially, until they've calmed down. I've always been grateful for that as I don't like big, noisy dogs running at me, even if their motivation is excitement rather than aggression.

Similarly, we have a friend who hates cats and we shut them away/keep them well away from him when he visits even though we know they won't hurt him

BlueJag · 14/06/2019 23:09

I'm a crazy cat lady but I do put our cat away if visitor are allergic or don't like cats.
I really struggle with dogs. Invariably they lick you and their breath it's mostly awful.
I just think it's about sensitivity to others and even as visitors if they don't like your pet accept that they'll go home and life goes back to normal.

ginghamstarfish · 14/06/2019 23:16

You sound very unprofessional if these people are paying for some kind of service.

Spookydot · 14/06/2019 23:23

I also have a daft lab. Labrador’s are extremely happy to be trained though!
It didn’t take long to train ours. As soon as our doorbell rings or door knocks, he runs straight to his bed and waits there until we tell him what to do next (come say hello, or lay down)
A dog barking can be so intimidating for many reasons. Even if you can’t emphasise with that personally it’s a fact. As you’re many visitors have told you and the views you’ve canvassed on here.

blighter · 14/06/2019 23:24

Op i dont like dog's. I'm not scared of them i just rarely find them interesting, more irritating. I get however why people have and love dogs. Labradors smell op. They are lovely as dogs go but as dog smells go they definitely hold the dog smell whether you can smell it yourself or not.

Lizzie48 · 14/06/2019 23:30

Obviously Labs can train well, as a lot of them are trained as guide dogs. It's all about whether the owner can be bothered to put in the effort.

I wouldn't be willing to put in the hours needed, I confess. But then, I wouldn't choose to have a dog.

jaydaddy · 14/06/2019 23:35

It's not about being a snowflake or sensitive - dogs aren't for everyone, not everyone enjoys being barked at, jumped on and getting hair all over them (family members have labradors - I know how much they shead!), plus when kids are around there's the added factor that to them, a dog is as big as a lion is to us. I think you need to appreciate that not everybody is in dog mode or is used to living with your dog as you are.

Willow2017 · 14/06/2019 23:43

He sounds protective and that's a good thing. It's his home, if they don't like your dog then they don't have to come round

Maybe she shouldn't be running a business where adults and kids have to come to her house then?

Nobody wants to go to.a house regularly for something you are paying for just to be barked at and pestered by an untrained dog. It's not difficult to understand.

Willow2017 · 14/06/2019 23:49

I suspect a lot of people commenting on this thread maybe just want to have a go at dog owners because they don’t like dogs!

Maybe you just dont like the truth?
That you would rather lose business than treat clients with any rrespect.

Rainbowknickers · 14/06/2019 23:55

I love worship and adore dogs I’d love one myself
However I have a friend and hers so untrained as does what he likes
He’s lovely but as soon as you walk in he’s there leaping up barking and slobbering all over you
5 stone of pure dog leaping up on the sofa to get at your face is a bit much-I never get to sit down there cos he just leaps all over you and I don’t like having his willy an inch from my face
He also stinks and I always have to shower after being near him
It’s not his fault he’s a lovely dog but he needs training-as does your lovely dog
Or just never have anyone round

itwaseverthus · 15/06/2019 00:19

I'm scared of dogs until I have a chance to get to know them. I wouldn't appreciate a barking lab on arrival. Sorry. Even if you warned me. In fact, the warning may make me more anxious. It's just the way it is, fears are fears.