Is it ok to drink occasionally if you are an alcoholic

[Fibbke]

And by alcoholic i mean drinking every day, needing alcohol first thing in the morning, drinking the equivalent of 3 bottles a day?

Any of his friends who ignored this were the ones who remained in a binge, stop, binge cycle for the remainder of their lives

I think this is what is going to happen. Urgh.

No.,as a pp,says after many years sober it might be possible to be able to have just one glass at a wedding etc but after two weeks ,I think this person is just looking for an excuse to drink.

No, never would be the only acceptable rule for an alcoholic. Not at Christmas, not on Birthdays, not at events or games and not even at funerals to raise a toast. Those things are simply excuses, and excuses are an alcoholic's best friend when it comes to getting back into shitty habits.

No. It is not advisable.

Lots of alcoholics go briefly dry. People in AA often call these people "dry drunks" - they're still active alcoholics, they haven't dealt with or even genuinely faced up to their addiction, they're just in a brief phase of not drinking which is all part of the cycle of their addiction. Remember also that lies go alongside addiction, and lying to yourself about how tooootally fine you will be having just one is all part of it too.

And people drinking at that level would indeed be advised to cut down slowly rather than stop, I think. The ideal would be an inpatient detox but beds for this are very hard to get and unlikely to be given to someone who's still in fairly deep denial, by the sounds of it.

The only thing you can do is advise the person to seek treatment and support, consider Al-Anon (which is for families and loved ones of alcoholics) for yourself, detach as much as you can and protect yourself from any consequences.

I'm amazed they've told me what they are planning tbh. I don't know what to say to them. Nothing?

I hope they heed your warnings op but sadly kicking the alcohol habit can be very much a stop start process. I speak from experience. I wasn't as heavy a drinker as your relative and wasn't physically addicted but I had to get to the bottom of WHY I was drinking as heavily as I was (a bottle of wine a day) and change habits to my stressevls and managing my mental health. I've sorted myself out now but it's not easy even at relatively early stages of alcohol dependency.

The only thing you can do is advise the person to seek treatment and support, consider Al-Anon (which is for families and loved ones of alcoholics) for yourself, detach as much as you can and protect yourself from any consequences

I am trying to do this. There is a child involved sadly which makes it hard to walk away. I did ring Al Anon and i could have talked to the woman for ages but ahe was quite keen to get me off the phone

I have one friend who had an alcohol problem, quit for a while, then was able to return to occasional drinking. BUT:

1. he quit alcohol for ten years
2. in that time he did a lot of work on himself, his mental health issues and how he took care of himself
3. the situation that he was in at the time of his alcohol addiction had been completely resolved and was a long time in the past
4. he approached starting to drink again cautiously and slowly

It sounds like you have only been sober for two weeks which is nowhere near long enough for you to have created real, lasting change. You are planning to go into a social situation and have "a couple" of drinks (ie no real plan) and you are hoping that this will be OK?

I really don't think this is a good idea. What support do you have in dealing with your alcohol addiction - are you speaking to your GP, an alcohol counseller, AA group?

finewords sorry if it wasnt clear, its not me, its a family member.

Sorry, I realise that now! Apols :)

No dont worry. Theyve been to gp, go to counselling, have supportive partner (although have been together for very short time)

I have some experience of working with people with alcohol problems and if it's got to the point that they need to drink in the morning than they are more than likely alcohol.dependent ( I'm also guessing they drink more than 3 bottles of wine / day) coming off alcohol.without medical intervention can be very dangeous, where I used to work they offered a ten day medicated detox although regimes may have changed in recent years, they will have been told to cut down on the drinking rather than stopping as stopping completely could be very dangerous even fatal without medical supervision, it's very much doubt they were fine after 3 days .

They can have the drink but can pretty much guarantee they will be drunk again and back where they started
Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic they can never drink safely again
Sober now for 13 years so a bit of experience

It depends on the individual. It is of course possible to cut back from drinking everyday to only drinking once or twice a week. I know plenty of people who have done this. It comes down to their level of addiction, amount of self control and whether they can be honest about what they want to do.

Yes im confused. Can you go from - calling me to ring in sick for them as they are drunk at 9.30am, to feeling chipper after 3 days of no booze??

Definitely not. My dad was an alcoholic and would stop drinking for a month , then decide that this meant that he could have one weak drink. Within days he was back to drinking until he dropped.

I like the cigarette comparison from a pp , as I too had tried to quit several times before giving up for good. The 'just one' fag on a night put was always my downfall.

*out

Yes she gave up for 5 days before then drank because she wanted to celebrate her strength at giving up. Was pissed by 12. I don't think she really wants to do this.

nope.

My friends exH would often have extended periods of time of not drinking to show he could stop whenever he wanted and he didn't have a problem. He'd be back on it eventually.

If this person needs a drink to get going in the morning, they aren't going to be able to stop at 2.

Some people can recover their physical state quite quickly
I could drink a litre of vodka a day for a week stop drinking and feel reasonably ok after a couple of days

I want to support but i am also sick of being lied to. I feel idiotic about some if the things I've believed over the years.

I am trying to do this. There is a child involved sadly which makes it hard to walk away

Oh I see that does make it terribly hard for you, even if it doesn't change the advice. I would definitely try going to Al-Anon for yourself in that case and otherwise looking after yourself if you don't feel you can walk away, and consider contacting Social Services if you feel the child's wellbeing is suffering. Sadly that's all you can really do.

Social services have been involved in the past, not sure if they still are.

I know im going to get jumped on but the really awful thing is that they are driving. They've rung me in tears in the past from their car in a car park. Sometimes they cant drive their child to school. Its absolutely shit.

Part of the addiction is this planning element I believe

I watch my dad do it, he will tailor everything in the day around the point where he can have a drink. So he will rush things or manipulate them so that he is justified to do it

My friends exH would often have extended periods of time of not drinking to show he could stop whenever he wanted and he didn't have a problem. He'd be back on it eventually.

Then it sounds like he successfully proved his point. Why expect him to quit drinking forever if he doesn't want or need to?