Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

I don't think I need to spell it out? He was so large that he could barely move, and barley fit in the aisle (this was a budget airline). He could well have had a disability, although you'd have hoped that he would've been given a priority seat at the front of the plane by the airline if he did. It took a very, very long time for him to get himself to his seat. And to get into the seat.

If I'd have been the man on the inside window seat, I wouldn't have asked him to move unless I physically couldn't hold it for the toilet (it was a short flight, Majorca I think) as I don't really think it's fair to disrupt/inconvenience/embarrass the man (more than he probably already was by having to board after everyone, with everyone seated and all eyes on him) by asking him to physically struggle out of his seat and stand in the aisle, where there really was no room for him to stand.

In case anyone else questions it - the man also had to wait for everyone else to leave the plane before he and his companion (and as a result the man in the aisle window seat too) got up to try and leave. He was that large.

@Lookingforadvice123 doesn't the front row have gull on dividers rather than arm rests? That's probably why he wasn't there.

*full

Could be Ninja I'm not sure. In that case the man could well have had a disability, in which case if I'd have been him or his companion I would've complained to the airline as his seat was smack bang in the middle of the plane virtually.

And it wasn't the emergency exit seat (I know those are roomier as my dad is 6"6 so tries to pay extra for those where possible).

doghair

The problem is one of empathy failure. People assume that something is easy for everyone because it is easy for them...or far more likely they assume that because something was a little bit difficult for them, but they tried hard and succeeded then its the same for everyone else and hence anyone who doesn't do it, simply isn't trying.

Something I personally found tricky but doable with some work was integrating partial differential equations .

Its a difficult concept and it took me a long time to get it.

Would it be reasonable to assume that everyone out there who has tried and failed to understand it, simply didn't try as hard as me? Or might it possibly be the case that different people are going to find that particular topic to be of different difficulty in the first place?

If you can wrap your head around the idea that some people are going to find it WAY EASIER to solve differential equations than I do...and that there are some people who will NEVER be able to do it, then it really shouldn't stretch your brain to imagine that there are people who find it easier to lose weight then you, and people who are going to find it impossible, without surgical treatment of the underlying cause.

PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT TO EACH OTHER

The more we make excuses that "it isn't their fault" or "it's just down to luck", the less responsibility people will take and outcomes will be worse

Facts are not excuses. Understand allows solutions.

• understanding allows solutions

dog hair

if you understood the story behind the behaviour, it would make you weep'. Can people really not see past the fat to the facts behind it?

Apparently not.

They just bleed on aboutb excuses and ‘responsibility’ honestly it should be compulsory for them to meet people & hear their stories before they’re allowed to open their mouths.

They might have small bodies, but they also have small minds

I could not agree with you more Chipping

What effort would it afford people to just remember their world view is only their own, a product of their own experiences. Other people will never be able to share that same view because their perspective is based upon totally different experiences.

Surely we all know this. Why is it so hard to remember?

Looking if by giving the gentleman the "front row" you mean an exit row, I thought passengers had to be fully mobile to be seated in one of those (for obvious reasons)?

Leaving aside the issue of getting past him for the loo for a moment, what if there'd been an emergency which called for quick evacuation of the aircraft?

Puzzledandpissedoff I have no idea - I didn't know the ins and outs of the man's situation at all.

WRT a quick evacuation, yes there's no way the man could've evacuated quickly. But then again, the same could be said of young children, the elderly, or someone in a wheelchair or with other disabilities? But these groups all still fly.

young children, the elderly, or someone in a wheelchair or with other disabilities ... all still fly

Of course they do, and quite right too

But not in exit rows, if they're not able to move fast in an emergency ...

No you're right. How do budget airlines accommodate wheelchair users etc then I wonder. If their more spacious seats are all exit rows...?

Chipping you could leave this terrible thread and come and hang out with us if you like. We're in chat - Thigh's Advice Clinic

It's an interesting question, Looking; folk can't take their own wheelchairs on board, so apparently check them into the hold and then the airport supply chairs to transfer folk to the aircraft

A pal who worked as cabin crew tells me that limited mobility passengers were seated in the bulkhead/central section on a 2/4/2 configuration rather than by the doors, but of course that's no good with 3/3 seating

The honest answer is that I simply don't know what happens then. No doubt there comes a point where a different form of transport has to be chosen, but it would be interesting to hear what happens from anyone who actually uses a chair ...

thighofrelief. Thanks I’ll definitely come & find you over there

I really shouldn’t open these threads, I’m sure no one ever takes anything from them & stops being A judgy twat. Simply because they’ve had a few facts and some real life stories pointed out to them

Judging is easier than caring and seemingly more fun I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

God. This thread is just a load of hilarious and frustrating fatlogic mines.

Whoever said that thinness is simply 'luck' - how fucking insulting. No, it's not LUCK. I used to be fat. Now I am THIN. Nothing to do with luck whatsoever, just effort. Something many fat people are apparently allergic to.

if I say this in acronym, hopefully I won’t be deleted. ODFOD

coffee has it occurred to you that while you had to put in some effort to lose weight, it might require very much more effort for others than it took for you? Has it occurred to you that if you were in their body you would also have failed? And if they were in yours they might have succeeded even faster?

PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT

Kenne I’m not sure what the acronym is but it might just be worth deletion to say out loud

Coffee the genome, and the alleles that you inherit therein, are luck. They are a random set of determinants which are the instructions for making your body. These instructions are slightly different for everybody, which creates variation in our species and all species. Some badluck is a high risk for cancer if you have a BRAC1 mutation for example. Some good luck is CCR5 allele which protects against HIV.

In the case of the HIV example you have to have exposure to HIV ( environment)to allow the allele come into its own ( genetics) and prevent infection.

It has been discovered that there are alleles that confer risk or protect against obesity. About one third of the population carry increased risk alleles for obesity and about two thirds carry protective alleles.

Therefore , having risk alleles for obesity is down to chance or luck and having alleles that increase likelihood of thinness is luck.

People who have increased risk of obesity can eat the same foods and have the same activity levels and be up to 20% fatter.

Obesity is a a spectrum and involves levels of fatness and fat distribution which alters with gender and age.

Obese individuals can diet but it is harder for some people to gain weight and harder for some to look. Most obese individuals fail after five years, to maintain any weight loss. Basically because their metabolism is set up to hold onto fat.