Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

@nakedscientist and the results of that interaction, even the interaction itself can be altered.

My point is really that obesity is not a choice. It is a condition that happens to some people. In our obesogenic society Being thin in our society is largely luck

Yes thigh it will!

There is a huge cannon of work that verifies this.

I don't agree with it being a luck. However, I agree that you can get different results from different people on same diet and exercise regime.

Self care requires an element of good mental health. Be that gambling, drinking, over eating (all serious food issues), over drinking, drug taking - I view all of these self destructive behaviours as a response to distress of some form.

I know she can't help her size

So she cant go on a diet op or move more ? Or even have surgery 🤦🏻‍♀️

Im fat myself but would never let me self get to a point were I literally sat on someone else because of it

@nakedscientist that is the biggest load of crap 😂😂😂

zonkin wow. Literally everything you said is provably totally wrong. Bariatric surgery can and has been shown scientifically to address the root cause of obesity (gut hormone production), meanwhile, bitching about peoples food choices has been proven extensively over the last 50 years to make the problem worse if anything.

Open your eyes! Look at the evidence!

My point is really that obesity is not a choice. It is a condition that happens to some people. In our obesogenic society Being thin in our society is largely luck.

Well, we must be an extremely unlucky country alongside the US.

Why does the NHS advise people to 'eat less, move more' if it's a pointless endeavour?

Obesityis generallycaused by eating too much and moving too little.

If you consume high amounts of energy, particularly fat and sugars, but do not burn off the energy through exercise and physical activity, much of the surplus energy will be stored by the body as fat.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/obesity/causes/

Bjorn

What you say is not wrong, it's just over simplified. Obesity is not a choice is my point.

We have created, in tbe UK and US and other countries a situation which predisposes those with risk alleles to become obese. Having or not having these risk alleles is luck

I am calling bullshit on this

To be fair if you've put in the disclaimer that you are not speaking for anyone else then you cannot universally 'call bullshit'.

Your struggle was like that for you and your success a real credit to you, but it cannot compare to other people's struggles. Those struggles may all be different, definitely will be different to your own experiences and all different to each other's. Everyone's struggle is not comparable, results of struggles will not be comparable, let's just be thoughtful and kind and stop calling people out at all.

I just don't think it's helpful to give people an excuse to say 'ah, fuck it....what's the point trying.'

If you're extremely obese to the point of not being able to go to work etc, then yes it might be very hard to reverse. However, I still believe that the majority of everyday fat people could lose weight through a drastic lifestyle change.

I've literally seen loads of people do this at the boot camps at my gym. People who were definitively 'fat' (not just carrying a few extra lbs).

Are these people scientific enigmas?

@BjornAgain81 agreed.

I agree with nakedscientist that there is an element of luck in being fat or not.

Obviously we all know some naturally skinny people who eat what they want and never get fat. Whyever that is - be it that their bodies are pretty poor at digesting food, or geared to shit out excess calories, or whatever. That part is a lottery.

And there will be some outliers at the other end. Poor bastards whose bodies use every available calorie to create fat, and none of it to give them energy to do stuff.

But as for the rest of us, no one can break the laws of physics. No one can extract more calorific value from food than they actually eat. No one can go about a days activities without using up energy.

The more we make excuses that "it isn't their fault" or "it's just down to luck", the less responsibility people will take and outcomes will be worse.
I bet for every 1 person who genuinely has a medial issue there are a thousand who are basically just looking for an excuse to abdicate any responsibility for their body. Of course, if they're not going to take responsibility, no one else is going to!

Bjorn people who have mental health issues are far more likely to be able to succeed in a struggle when they do not feel shame.

Shaming people is unkind and perpetuates the problem (however the problem manifests in the case we are discussing obesity)

It's not about 'excuses' maybe it was for you and other people but it will not be the same for everyone and for some people, the views expressed as universal will feel shaming for them.

Let them feel value as a human being, they may one day come to value themselves enough to be able to help themselves.

Do not shame people when you haven't walked a mile in their shoes ... and no you haven't!

The more we make excuses that "it isn't their fault" or "it's just down to luck", the less responsibility people will take and outcomes will be worse

Exactly

Sorry, pressed too soon - meant to add this onto it:

www.theguardian.com/society/2016/sep/20/obesity-gene-weight-loss-gain-study-diet

YANBU. Those seats are small for an average size person, so the lady should've booked herself two seats.

I was on a plane once with the biggest person I have ever seen weight wise. He was with a tiny female companion. When he sat in his seat, he and his companion had to have the arm rest up between them, and he easily took up most of her seat too (good thing she was tiny). I remember thinking that's the right thing to do and maybe he deliberately chose to fly with her (or he would've had to have booked two seats). I did feel sorry for the man sitting in the window seat of their row though as if he wouldn't have had a choice of going to the toilet for the entire flight!

Looking - why would the guy in the window have any more difficulty getting out than if the big guy was small? Surely everyone has to move in to the aisle to let the window seat person out.

Anyway, there are some people on this thread who are making some other people feel utterly shit about themselves. Please be mindful of this when making sweeping generalisations about people.

It would have been impossible for the larger guy to move and stand in the aisle. He boarded last, when everyone was sat down and luggage etc put away, assuming a type of priority boarding (but in reverse?) to be less disruptive.

Looking I don't understand what you mean did they take the top off of the plane to get him in or something?
Of course he could stand up to let the window seat guy out to use the toilet, the same way anyone else could, no inconvenience caused.

Topiary, perhaps he was the short, fat, lying man that had to be winched in, from earlier in the thread.

This whole thread is riddled with horrible, intolerant judgements against large people, in spite of various scientific links provided to educate people that obesity is not a choice and that often, overeating stems from trauma. I read a meme the other day along the lines of 'if you understood the story behind the behaviour, it would make you weep'. Can people really not see past the fat to the facts behind it?