Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

Nin in certain cases someone may have to leave if the situation is intolerable for one party, but that's the same for any issue a person may have where it is difficult for them in situations involving the general public in close proximity.

My point has always been that there shouldn't be blame or shame. Every person deserves to be accepted for who they are. If they have weight to lose, if they have sensory issues, whoever and whatever they are should be 'ok'.

If there is a conflict of interests there is absolutely no point in complaining, it will happen, we are all humans. No need for finger pointing, trying to find which party is 'guilty'.

I don't belong to either the overweight or the sensory issues category but I do know that whoever or whatever someone is is alright with me. I would hope for similar compassion if I were ever to be in a position where I might not always be easy to sit next to, should that ever arise. None of us know what the future holds with regards to illnesses or mental health issues. It's just about consideration for one another, even if a person is making things a bit uncomfortable for me, and if they can't help it and are doing no real harm to me and mine, I can manage with it.

It's not about saying Zonkin is being nasty at all, it's just asking for a kinder approach. There is no black or white in these issues, they are far more complex than 'right or wrong' so let's practice tolerance?

It takes about 2 minutes to check out Hamilton ticket prices. No mystery. It's just an example. There a million other ones. Talk about distracting from the actual issue.

Clearly any more input from me is unwelcome and considered intolerant and nasty so I'll leave this thread now.

Obesity is not a choice, so it should not attract glib, judgemental comments and assumptions.

link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs11892-018-1053-x

There is a huge amount of research regarding the topic, but it is such an emotional issue ( see this thread) and with such potential for revenue that the research is obscured and repurposed to sell diets and books. The paper linked above is a review of recent literature. You will see, should you look, that morbid obesity is a disease. The definition of a disease is unconnected with its treatment status and there are thousands of diseases that have no or only palliative treatment options.

Of course eating and weight are connected. It takes a little more mental agility to understand that obesity is an interaction between the environment ( food) and the individual's genomic load of risk alleles.

So if you are not obese in our current obesogenic environment then think your self lucky, you are not the deserving thin, you have a set of alleles that makes it easy to stay thin.

Naked I agree. I'm sure 99% of obese people would prefer to be a healthy weight. But there's such a level of disgust attached to the issue that sadly, people who struggle are treated like second class citizens.

I'm of a healthy weight and consider myself fortunate not to struggle with it. My friend is obese and I know her and love her and understand how she struggles with food addiction. It's linked to abuse in her childhood and is in fact often linked to abusive childhoods.

So sad that people just think it's down to greed.

So if you are not obese in our current obesogenic environment then think your self lucky, you are not the deserving thin, you have a set of alleles that makes it easy to stay thin.

I'm calling bullshit on this.

I was fat until I started training and stopped eating 20 mcnuggets and three double cheeseburgers as a single meal. I can't speak for anybody else but I'm sure the above isn't a coincidence.

Bjorn were you just fat then? No trauma from your childhood or anything?

My gym also does a '12 week transformation' course where you get a personal trainer, weekly classes, and nutrition advice. They've only been doing it for six months and already I've seen some extremely impressive before and after photos on their Instagram page - mainly obese women who are now edging into a fairly 'normal' body shape.

Henny thanks for your thoughtful comments. For children suffering abuse to grow into an adulthood where they still feel worthless is desperately sad.

Henny thanks for your thoughtful comments. For children suffering abuse to grow into an adulthood where they still feel worthless is desperately sad.

Yet sadly very common, but people heap judgement ion them as if their CSA WASNT ENOUGH AND NOT their fault as they often feel.

They’ll often deny the CSA as well because they’ve spent their lives being made to feel it was their fault. It’s very sad.

Oh Bjorn you are talking about you and people who operate just like you.

You've done so well I know you have but please remember not everyone can and that's not bullshit it's real.

No matter what your genetics, if you don't eat more cal then you burn you will not get fat. It may be easier to get big, but it can also be prevented and "treated".
IMHO, for majority, it's a modern lifestyle in UK. So much convenient food, everyone is busy, but not physically busy.
There are people whose food issues stem from trauma, but that's really not a majority.
In last 20 years obesity doubled. We are not suffering more trauma then generation before. But we have food we can just grab and go much more than before. And it's usually not a healthy food.
Damn it! Now I fancy 20 nuggets and cheeseburgers🙄
When I came to UK I was astouned by the amount of fast food and deliveries. Absolutely gobsmacked.

Dangly, that's why I put the disclaimer 'I can't speak for anybody else.'

I actually also had a hormonal problem which affected my metabolism but still managed to lose most of it in spite of that (although it was admittedly easier when treated).

What I took offence at was the 'count yourself lucky, you're not deserving thin, it's just your allelles'. I certainly worked hard to lose weight and I'd wager it's work for the majority (obv not everybody). Statistics like 'only 1 in 100 manage to lose weight' make it sound totally passive but theoretically speaking it could also be that only 1 in 100 actually commit to it.

but that's really not a majority.. And what makes YOU qualified to say that?

Simply because it’s easier to blame fat people for over eating than to put any thought or compassion into why or why eating vastly reduced calories makes fuck all difference to some people?

Bjorn I agree with some of your comments for some people. I'm glad you found out about your hormone problem, what made you /your Dr think to investigate that.

Why did you used to overeat? Were you lonely, bored, shy? What was it?

I agree with Bjorn in this.
I am not ashamed of myself for being fat. I am ashamed that I actually didn't do anything about it for years. Started with stress overeating. Stress gone, I was still eating crap. I am actually fuming with myself why did I just let it go this far.

I do really think people need to relearn how to eat healthier way. We are all lost in KFC mega buckets, Greggs when out and about and Maccies for convenience 🤷‍♀️ It's a modern maze of oil and cooking fat where there are only 2 exits. The first is give these up partially and survive, second is heart attack.
It's fine to have them as a treat, but not every day or every second day.
I still remember maccies being a once in 2 months treat😂

It's like crack. I actually had a carb withdrawal when I kick started the eating change🙄

Nin how overweight were you and how did you deal with the stress differently?

I'm calling bullshit on this

Feel free, but you are incorrect. Congrats on loosing weight, but is is not evidence it is anecdote.

@ChippingInLowCarbing logical assumption.

1. It doubled in last 20 years. Is there twice as much people with a trauma then before?
2. UK is on top in Europe. Are people being more traumatised in childhood in UK than elsewhere? That includes extreme poverty regions.

I am not denying trauma as a cause. However, I can't but conclude that majority of obese people are not obese due to trauma.

No matter what your genetics, if you don't eat more cal then you burn you will not get fat.

Yes that is true BUT the devil is in the detail. It is how MUCH you burn that's the difference between people. It is perfectly possible to have identical diets and exercise and "burn" different amounts of energy.

The reasons are at the heart of it genetic: mitochondria, hormone levels, numbers and sizes of fat cell, enzyme levels, gender and many more

@thighofrelief101 went from 12 to 22 in a span of 2 years. I sorted the stress. It was a work and family situation and I simply eventually told everyone to fuck off with that bs and reorganised my work.

@nakedscientist so if you know you burn less, what do you do? You either change the food a bit or change the exercise. Or not? No one is saying it's easy.

Obesity is complex. It is an interaction between the food/work environment that we have, which encourages obesity and our specific set of risk alleles.

Naked if you take a group of people of the same age and feed them the same amount of calories and give them the same amount of exercise (adjusted for height) will the outcome vary?

To me morbid obesity seems like a very logical consequence of SA/CSA - cover yourself in protective fat. Not everyone obviously.