Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

Why did you not ask to be moved?

It was a sold out show and I was with my 86 year old grandma who was struggling with the stairs so I wouldn't have wanted to cause her any stress.

I'd be really annoyed, theatre seats are absolutely tiny and someone else taking up your space makes them even smaller. I suppose I wouldn't have wanted to cause her any embarrassment by making people move around, but I'd have had to say something about the elbowing.

@redbedheadd
If you had posted about this being on a flight op then you would have got lots of sympathy as per previous similar threads. I don't have a solution but it isn't fair for you to be so uncomfortable by being jostled etc regardless of the person's size.

There's no where she could have moved to, what would be the point of making any conflict and I wouldn't have wanted to cause my grandma any stress.

@mimibunz. Really helpful comment. Why bother

Was the show any good?

I think you are NBU. You paid for your ticket and are entitled to have the space and comfort you paid for.

Once was seated in an airplane next to a lady who was so big that she actually took a part of my seat too and placed her foot in the space in front of my seat so I was even more uncomfortable. I made a complaint to the flight attendent that I felt uncomfortable and wanted another seat.

She can't exactly have done anything about it and if she could wave a magic wand and be smaller for your comfort maybe she'd take it, maybe she wouldn't but yabu to moan. Why shouldn't she go to the theatre? Tall people get in my way so I can't see but I don't think they shouldn't go to watch a show.

I would have been annoyed as well. I probably would have just tried to spread out in my space or asked her to move her bulk into her own space.

If she kept moving around hitting me with her elbows I would of told her to stop and complained to staff if she continued after me asking her to stop no matter her size.

YANBU at all. We took the DC to watch Elf the musical last December and I was next to a very large gentleman who did that manspread thing with his legs to the point where he was halfway over my seat. I appreciate it's everyone's right to visit the theatre but it's also my right to not have another person enter into my personal space in such an overbearing way.

He was sniffy when I pointed out to him that he was on my seat, but does his right to be overweight trump my right to expect personal space?

@Sparklingbrook - awww yeah show was excellent!

I know she can't help her size but this is the discussion... if you are bigger than the seat and you take over half of a second seat is that fair?

People are bigger now. Not just in terms of fat, but frame too. There’s never enough leg room for me. Theatres are old, so the seats don’t fit modern frames. Theatre owners could do something about this, but they don’t. If she was deliberately elbowing you, not trying to avoid it at all, you have a point. Otherwise YABU. What else is she supposed to do? Stay at home so as not to offend anyone with her fatness?

Well, yes, because what is she supposed to do? Not go out in case it inconveniences someone else?

move her bulk
Nice, Shanna. I expect you object to Nike’s plus size fitness gear too.

I know she can't help her size but this is the discussion... if you are bigger than the seat and you take over half of a second seat is that fair?

What do you suggest then? Blanket ban on fat people?

This is going to be the airplane seat thread all over again.

Oh OP I feel for you. I hate anyone encroaching on my personal space. She should’ve stayed home or bought 2 seats. Or an aisle seat maybe and spilled into an aisle. She definitely should’ve sat still. YANBU. It’s not fair to have your enjoyment spoiled like that.

as not to offend anyone with her fatness?

I wasn't offended by her fatness- I was in pain because I was completely squashed as she was on my chair and she repeatedly elbowed and kneed me which impacted on my enjoyment. My grandma spent a lot on the tickets and it impacted on my experience. I have a 5 month old baby and it's the first time I've been away from him so I'm frustrated it wasn't as lovely for me as it could have been.

I'm a larger lady and always purchase end seats at theatre but then I also go with friends so they sit next to me!

Well, yes, because what is she supposed to do? Not go out in case it inconveniences

Go out? Yes. Take up space someone else has paid for? No. The tall person is a poor comparison because the tall person isn’t actually sitting in your space!