Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

Read Anthony Warner's 'The Truth About Fat' and open your eyes.

I suspect she knows exactly how fat she is and was mortified. Every fat person I know , including myself, know exactly how fat they are. They don’t wake up in the morning thinking they are slim. I know I am dying inside with shame

But I’m always reading on mumsnet about how people were gob smacked when they saw a picture of themselves as didn’t realise they're so big.
Or their jaw hit the floor when the stepped on to scales for first time in ages

Nasty and unnecessary goady thread. Hope you’re proud of yourself

The OP hasn't been nasty or goady. How would you feel if you ordered the same meal as the person next to you but they just took some of yours, without even asking because they 'needed it more'?

I had a woman practically sit on half my seat at the theatre and was leaning all over me, not only that but she had her coat and bag squashed up against the side of me. I felt really claustrophobic and I asked her twice to move over to her own side, she wasn't a larger lady so she had enough space to move. In the end I said if she wanted to sit on half my seat then she should have paid for half my ticket! She eventually moved over.

Nice fat shaming, OP. Aren't you the compassionate one.

I'm not sure what I said that fat shamed? I was very polite and didn't complain to her as I didn't want to embarrass her. I haven't used any derogatory language.... can you explain?

Nasty comments on here. Hope none of you have bad breath....

So what did you want her to do OP? You haven answered that question

YANBU. I was at a football match last month and the man next to me was spilling over onto my seat. I go often and it's usually quite snug as the seating is tightly packed but this was ridiculous.

A family member is extremely overweight yet often goes to concerts, she was at one recently in a football stadium, and I always wonder how she deals with the seating. She often posts a selfie with her friend and it doesn't look like she books two seats as she always looks crammed in between her friend and whoever is next to her.

I don't think YABU.

If she was well aware of her size then it stands to reason she was well aware she'd be taking up space of the person next to her. And went anyway.

It's not her fault the seats are narrow, and it would have been considerate to have picked an isle seat. Or a more modern theater.

Why shouldn't she go to the theatre? Tall people get in my way so I can't see but I don't think they shouldn't go to watch a show.

One of the more ridiculous comments I’ve seen on Munster

Mumsnet!

I think there should be fatty seats that you have to pre book if over a certain size, or those seats where the arms go up, and they have to book 2 seats.
It's not everyone else's fault they can't fit in a normal seat.
I'd have had to have said something.

So what did you want her to do OP? You haven answered that question

I think if it was me I would book an aisle seat to allow more room. My DP is extremely tall so I always book that for him or extra leg room on the plane.

I used to be 25 stone so I have complete sympathy with people who are larger.

I think that some of the comments are ridiculous to be accusing OP of 'fat shaming', when I was in her situation I avoided places with small seats because of this situation. It's unfair to expect the OP to be uncomfortable because of your size.

YANBU OP she could have either bought an end seat or avoided it altogether like I used to.

And what would you have said? “ Sorry, but would you mind losing a couple of stone in the interval? Cheers!”

^ good point. I don’t want to give up part of my seat and be squashed by someone else. The elbowing thing sounds infuriating, l would given her a few free goes and then told her to stop

I had a very large lady next to me at the theatre. I had the foresight to wear a lurex (fabric with metallic bits) cardigan. Soft on me but rather scratchy on the outside. It kept her at bay but she was a very nice lady anyway. She couldn't help spreading a bit. She gave off a lot of heat as well. Scratchy clothing is the way to go!

You're not allowed to express any discomfort OP. You're to sit silently regardless of how squashed you are otherwise you're fat shaming and fat phobic 🙄 suck it up and embrace her fatness.

Oh lord all this compassion complaining here! The OP said nothing to the woman. 99% of us here would say nothing at the time. No one wants to hurt anyone's feelings.

That doesn't mean we can't have an honest discussion about how we feel here in anonymity.

I have a few large family members. For those asking what she should have done, she should have bought two seats. That's what people in my family do. They realize they are large and they do that for shows, flights, anything like that.
I'm a thin person who was stuck between two large people on a flight once and I felt squashed. If I'd been even a more average size person I suspect they would have had to move one of us.
It's not fat shaming to be uncomfortable with someone invading your personal space. OP wasn't rude about it, I was perfectly polite on the plane, but it's ok to state that it is uncomfortable.

Yeah fatty seats is a great idea

If you need 2 seats, you have to buy 2. the end. i can’t put my handbag on the seat next to me, same rules for my bum.

Yes but people are saying they would have said something and I’m interested to know what exactly could have been said that would have resolved the situation

That's very kind of you @IncrediblySadToo but as you can see you aren't in the majority so I usually don't inflict myself on other people.

As for the posters who say people don't realise how big they are I don't always feel big, I am big I know that but some days I forget and just have a nice day. Then I'll contemplate getting on a plane or going to the theatre or going clothes shopping and I remember again. Don't worry I'm always aware.

Fatty seats ... oh my god some people are so bloody rude and insensitive