Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

Shocking fat shaming comments disgusting

You were the one who mentioned she was overweight OP. You could have just made this thread about her elbowing etc. Read the title of your thread. I didn’t say you were talking about “ so many fat people” . Your comments about one very large lady are enough.

No one tall shames though do they?

You can't help being tall...

@MrsGrindah YABU! (and a pain in the arse!)

If it was somebody's huge hairdo sticking in her ear all evening and the OP was complaining about it here i'm sure there wouldn't be so much hand-wringing about 'shaming' would there?

Why is it ok to make someone else's life unconfortable with your body and why aren't we allowed to talk about it?

No one tall shames though do they?

that's cause tall people can do nothing about their height. Fat people, on the other hand, can lose weight.

Neighbouring lady is not unreasonable to attend a show, OP is not unreasonable to want to enjoy the seat and the show she paid to attend, without having to involuntarily share with a total stranger sat next to her, who is making her very physically uncomfortable.

Thanks Fancy. I’ll wear that badge with pride!

OP I feel your pain but can you not imagine what it's like to be really big? Can you imagine how you'd be feeling to always have to book two seats etc? Research and (horrible) TV shows always show that larger people don't realise how big they are or how much they eat.
Yeah it was shit, I once had a 16 year old African boy hold my leg for a 2 hour flight because he'd never been on a plane before. At first I was a bit outraged but then when I asked him wtf he was doing I got with his situation.
I can't understand why people don't expect to be squashed, held, inconvienienced etc by people. It's modern life.
Or stay home mostly, like I do. Nobody bothers me in my detached house, in a tiny village on a side of a small mountain.
People are big sometimes, fact of living in 2019.

MrsGrindah you're perfectly entitled to say the OP is being U. However you're making a fuss about not being allowed to discuss other peoples fatness. Why?

I had this once, OMG, I spent more time shifting and trying to get comfortable, that I missed half of what was going on. You have my sympathies!

The tall person's body ruins the enjoyment of a show I or my grandma have paid good money to see.

They should be well aware how tall they are and book especially deep seats or sit on the floor so as not to inconvenience me.

I never said that. And if you want to know, I just feel very sorry for people who don’t fit into “ normal” things, go out to enjoy themselves etc and get criticised for not fitting into the norm. None of us know the story behind someone else’s circumstances. However I do agree that shuffling and elbowing etc is unpleasant and if it’s causing someone discomfort they can speak up. But it might be down to the fact that they are rude and inconsiderate, but the OP made the assumption that it was also because the lady was very large.

But was neighbouring lady thinking about how unpleasant it is to be squashed and elbowed by a total stranger? Shouldn't the empathy go both ways? Did she give a single flying fig about that? Why shouldn't she? Because she's large? It's only small people that are supposed to think 'oh terribly sorry, it must be awful for you to be on the big side, here, have 3/4 of my seat and I'll happily have bruised ribs if it prevents you from feeling bad about yourself. . .'

I should say the lady next to me did apologise several times for coming into my space, and I did the ‘oh it’s ok it’s no problem’, because it’s not her fault, and I could see she was uncomfortable too. It’s more that so many places have seats for a regular size, but as a nation we are getting bigger (I’m a size 16 so not small or regular) but in lots of places the seats aren’t big enough to accommodate an expanding nation.

I had similar on Saturday night at a concert OP. In fact I did inadvertently fat-shame two women as I approached our row I literally could not see a space and went & got a steward to say there were people in our seats (there were but they were also in their own seats). DD and I squashed in, one of the ladies leaned back, the other leaned forward to try and contain themselves in their own seats. We took turns to get up and go to bar/loo. Fortunately when music started everyone stood up and we were able to jostle along a bit. We didn't get what we paid for but I can't imagine venue or ticketmaster would give a toss

The elbowing and the size are connected. Large people next to you encroach on your space and their elbows ect are already across your seat arms even before they move. It's a matter of logic. The OP has made the 'assumption' because she was there and it was happening to her.

It's happened to me too. Leg fat comes under the arm of the seat as well as wide arm over the seat arm. It can be hot and squashed next to a fat person and when they move you get jolted and jostled.

I should add I include the other two ladies when I say we didn't get what we paid for ie a seat big enough to sit on

What if it's a large but not fat man. A 6'7" rugby type, are the complaints the same?

thigh "What if it's a large but not fat man. A 6'7" rugby type, are the complaints the same?"

OMG yes. I'd probably triple my internal grumbling level.

quite brave of OP to start a thread. In the older theatres, the seats can be quite small for a regular sized person. Must have been very uncomfortable.

DH and I go to the theatre regularly and have spent many evenings having my enjoyment ruined by the small, uncomfortable seats, tall people blocking my view, big people squashing me and folks coughing, rustling sweets and talking. My top tip is do what we do and always book seats in a box. They aren't the most expensive, contrary to belief but are by far the most comfortable. There's loads of room, you can move about or eat and drink without disturbing anyone, and can chat quietly.

@thighofrelief101
The tall person's body ruins the enjoyment of a show I or my grandma have paid good money to see.

They should be well aware how tall they are and book especially deep seats or sit on the floor so as not to inconvenience me.

That is very unreasonable of you but very funny!

Let’s face it, obesity is an issue, but instead of obese people realising and working on this, they claim fat- shaming so that people are scared to actually complain.
If you can afford to go to the theatre (which by the way, I’ve been to once in 4 years due to cost) they can damn well buy healthier food choices and/or a personal fitness trainer.
I know I’ll get flamed for this, but it’s the truth.
I’m disgusted by some of the attitudes on here regarding that regular weight people should waste their money and not enjoy a trip to the theatre due to overweight (or sounding more like obese) people who think their own enjoyment is worth more than others.
Same way people with adhd, autism etc outdoors not want others to be made uncomfortable, so should those needing 2 seats.

Answer is- obese viewings, where they have to pay for 2 seats.

hat if it's a large but not fat man. A 6'7" rugby type, are the complaints the same?

Yes! As he might have been manspreading too!! 🙊