Extra curricular activities - aibu?

[GreatOne]

To expect DS aged 10 to do one sport and maybe even be grateful for it?
Has no interest in anything at all.....So I'm just wasting my time and money??

Well said, Lllot5. In that situation I'd run away from home or at the very least barricade myself in my room.

My DD9 does swimming (which she loves) and Brownies, which she has been told are mandatory. After that she's allowed to chose, term by term, what after school club she wants to do, if any. That way she gets exercise, socialises with a group who are not necessarily her friends from school and gets time to do what she particularly wants.

I'm with you, Lllot5. Kids need downtime as much as adults do - how many of us do hobbies five nights a week???

My DC does one club on a Monday after-school and I take them swimming and cycling. Beyond that, I'd rather they just played in the park/garden after school with friends. Kids are so over-scheduled at primary age these days that it's no wonder so many of them are developing anxiety and depression in their teens. They're overloaded and have no spare time to just be kids. I'm also stunned at the PP who are quoting job prospects as a reason for making their kids do back to back activities! They're 10 years old!

There's 6 hours after school before bedtime for a ten year old. A 1 hour block of exercise, or even 2 x 1 hour exercise still leaves plenty of time 'to be kids'.
My dc love their after school activities, they're with their friends, different friends, they would do as many as they possibly could.
If you, or your dc, don't want your dc to do extracurricular activities for whatever reason, fine, don't, but please stop with the pretence that those who do don't get any down time.

Surely for ParkRun you have to be able to run and I don't mean a short sprint to catch a bus.

No not at all! Many start of walking.

ParkRun do 2 events:

Adults (or infact everyone over 4yrs) Saturday morning 9am. This is 5km. About an hours walk.

Juniors (4yrs-14yrs) Sunday morning 9am. This is 2km. 4yr old can walk it in 30mins.

The emphasis is on taking part and completing - not competing for first place.

www.parkrun.org.uk/events/events/
www.parkrun.org.uk/events/juniorevents/

I hate sports and I’d have hated to have it inflicted on me as a child. I went to drama school instead and loved it. Maybe try a different activity? Football/sports in general aren’t the be all and end all...

Park run is great, my DC do it every other weekend.

Are you enforcing the kind of childhood you wish you'd had on him instead, OP? Because he's a different person to you.

Kids need downtime as much as adults do - how many of us do hobbies five nights a week???

I did, before I had kids, what is so shocking about that? When you finish work between 6 and 8, there's still plenty of time to do something before going to bed.

I can't think of anything worst than a child not doing "anything". They have more than enough time in the day to do something after school, and still have plenty time for homework and just pottering around in the house.

I agree but they don't have to be organised, group activities unless they want that. They make their own & do their own thing when they are interested in something. Forced activities are very tiring, they have enough of those at school.

Bluerussian - how will a child know what they're interested in if they're not exposed to it, ie via a parent organising it for them?
My dcs school is great but they've never done ballet or jazz or tap or parkour or trampoline or ice skating or any one of hundreds of activities. If I hadn't booked them for my child, they wouldn't know if they loved it. Or not.

I can't think of anything worst than a child not doing "anything".

Me neither, but an extra curricular activity doesn't always have to mean scheduled classes. On top of their one class and swimming and cycling, our DC walks our neighbour's dog at weekends, gardens their own little plot, goes for long hikes with us and friends.

Also, when PP are handing down snidey judgements on people whose children don't do classes, maybe consider that they can't afford it? Two or three classes a week can add up to hundreds (esp. with two kids) that a month that some people just can't spare.

Seems to not grasp that doing an afterschool club is a treat in itself!

I disagree with this, for me personally I think sporting, is helps build children socially, educationally and physically, which then aids discipline and self motivation.

I wouldn’t and don’t consider these as treats, my children do (6 and 8 sports each)

However at the same time you cannot force DC to be “sporty* however you can force them to lead active lifestyles.

@arethereanyleftatall
That's quite stunning that you do all that x2 kids!!
Igwym, his cousin does something 6 days a week, 1 remaining day is set aside for homework. That's just their norm

my children do (6 and 8 sports each)

Wow actually wow
That's a sterling effort for both you and your DC !

PP who are quoting job prospects as a reason for making their kids do back to back activities! They're 10 years old!

Thing is if you want to be a professional/competitive swimmer, footballer, tennis player, ballerina etc etc you have to have started really young for some things. They'll all have started off guided by their parents idea/choice, in fairness

Part time job prospects definitely. Maybe full time. Swimming can lead to lifeguarding. Dance, other sports can lead to coaching. Totally agree that with something like gymnastics you need to start early.

When I was 8, my dad pushed me in to swimming; probably, I don't remember. It has become my passion, my job, and my hobby.

Why does it have to be clubs? Maybe set a night a week to do something together- swim, bike ride, trampolining, climbing, parcour class, kayaking, walking, running, gym, horse riding. You both get to try new things with no pressure to commit and maybe he’ll take to one of them enough to suggest a repeat. It’s worth a try while he’s still at the age of not being embarrassed doing things with his mum (in the next few years he’ll start asking to do them alone or with mates).

All kids are different. One of my girls does one club a week. Another 2 a week with another starting in Sept and my middle child none. I listen to what they want. They are active and do things with us. My middle comes running with me and has interest in coding, but she doesn't want to do that as club. Honestly you've tried really hard to get him interested in anything let it go. He will probably be more intellectual, much like my middle and pursue a career in something that doesn't involve any of this.

Have you thought about golf?? My 9 year old is not sporty in the slightest, but has picked up a real passion for golf! I think it’s partly because the golf club he goes to treats the juniors like small adults. He really enjoys being treated like any other adult member, and loves to go play several times a week. The older members actively look for juniors to play with, so he’s interacting with lots of different adults regularly.

Would he be receptive to something like kids' cookery classes? My DD always enjoyed them, right through to sixth form.
For physical activity, would he go to the swimming pool with you, his dad and/or siblings at the weekend? Use an awful lot of energy if you choose one of those inflatable sessions, and - to him - it might not seem like quite so much hard work.
Or a family cycle ride?
First Aid Course? Again, not active but he might find interesting.
My library does a manga club for juniors, but I think they have to be teens. Sounds like something he would enjoy, so maybe worth checking.

I don't know many people who get home at 5 or even 6pm to take their children to all these activities, often leaving home at 0700 0r 0800. I wouldn't inflict lane swimming at 0600 on any kid who wasnt keen. Weekends tend to be catch up with domestic stuff, food shopping etc. Most of the rest of the time is indeed sports, walking, etc, but midweek? That's why school sports if your kid likes them (and actually has a playing field or gym) is great.

Listen to him. He doesn’t want to be so structured. Let him potter at home.( Limit screen time.). Let him get bored if at all possible. It may stimulate his creativity and imagination or
might make him want to do one of your activities . Some children use up so much energy ‘performing ‘ at school that he may just need to be by himself. Not everyone has to do a multitude of activities and that’s ok. I hope you’re not bowing to peer pressure. If so ‘sell’ your decisions as lifestyle choices.

No, absolute waste of money! I sent ds to swimming lessons, knowing he didn't want to do them. He learnt to swim several years later (when he wanted to) and then became a lifeguard.

Likewise, yummy mummy (me!) bought him driving lessons for his 17th. He'd always told me he didn't want to drive. He failed the theory test ... twice. In the end, I came to my senses and he still isn't driving at 27!

The only thing non-sporty ds was willing to do at 10 was judo. Then he did rowing with lottery funding at 14. Both provided him with a fantastic social life, which was all he really wanted

If I could have my time again, I'd just let him get on with it!