Extra curricular activities - aibu?

[GreatOne]

To expect DS aged 10 to do one sport and maybe even be grateful for it?
Has no interest in anything at all.....So I'm just wasting my time and money??

Dear god you sound like a middle class redcoat.
Find something less bloody structured and forced. Walk with him by rivers and in woods - far better for mental health after a structured day at school than enforced sports.

Walk with him by rivers and in woods

Yes, because everyone lives in the middle of nowhere surrounded by rivers and woods

Not sure kids activitys are grouped into working class or middle class!
He's not clay pigeon shooting or learning polo or dressage.
🤷🏻‍♂️

I think you're going to struggle to get him to show gratitude, but I think if he enjoys it when he's there you should carry on taking him.

Like others have said, physical exercise is extremely important as is the the socialising side of things.

My son is 12 and every week he makes some excuse about not going to football after school, there is always lots of huffing and puffing about it being boring, but when I pick him up he always says he's had a great time!

He might like those clay pigeon shooting and dressage ;).

You can't force extra curricular activities on kids, the whole point of them is that they are extra, therefore optional. If you insist, he'll dig his heels in.

He'll find something he likes sooner or later, please chill and stop worrying.

The question is: what does he do after school? If he finishes around 3:30pm and goes to bed around 8pm

@MorondelaFrontera

He's pretty typical/average routine when not in school. Allowed to play outside with friends/siblings, he chose to do drawing yesterday of a comic book character he likes, then read the book with the same character, he can ride his bike, used to spend ages playing with toy sets, has to do chores (unload dishwasher, hang wet laundry, fold his dry ones, tidy his room - standard 10 year old stuff), dinner time, allowed tv, ps4 but not really on school nights.

He did no school clubs yet this year as not interested in the options on offer.
For summer, I've signed him up to athletics afterschool at start of the week. Tennis on thursdays. Drop-in/pay to play on saturday morning, he's given the option of two tennis clubs which do these sessions. We'll often go to the park after.
So it's all pretty spaces out.

Maybe he's just uninterested, dare I say lazy.

every week he makes some excuse about not going to football after school, there is always lots of huffing and puffing about it being boring, but when I pick him up he always says he's had a great time!

This is exactly what I get, every single week. Regardless of the activity. For years on end

The op is obviously not carless in an inner city. Some kids do not need organised stuff on top of school - the fact the op has tried so much to me indicates the child needs space and not more opportunities but less and less adult direction and more time to develop a sense of himself and what he wants to do. This relentless offering of different things is exhausting emotionally for a child of this age if they are not that way inclined.

PS: Surely for ParkRun you have to be able to run and I don't mean a short sprint to catch a bus.

Not all kids are good runners. I couldn't run and grew up quite fit and well. Didn't do anything much out of school except read and think.

I don't understand all this joining things and having to do activities. Didn't happen when mine was young. His free time was free for him to choose what he wanted to do (music and computer programming). As an adult, he is fine and reasonably fit.

Technically Darts and Snooker are sports but wont keep you as fit as walking to and from school. Although Darts is great for maths

At least an hour a day of exercise is an absolute non-negotiable in our house.
I don't care what it is, organised extra-curricular or walking a mile or so to school and back or playing outside on bikes after school.
I want my dc to get in to the habit of daily exercise being as fundamental as sleeping and eating.
Op, it sounds as if he's getting exercise anyway, playing outside on bikes after school, I think that's fine.

@Bluerussian

I think I'm more confused ~and worried lol~
Secondary school sent list of varied and extensive lunchtime and after school clubs and he seemed sooooo not bothered. Eg. Card trading games, debating, football, swimming, chess, film club - so not just sports.

I knew kids at school who did nothing. Surely it makes for a dull childhood/adulthood(?)

I get that he might not see it as a treat, I know a 10 year old wont get it. But IMO he's lucky to get these opportunities....clubs are kind of a luxury item. Even the free school ones.

Kids are rarely grateful for anything unfortunately IME .

YANBU. My kids are younger but doing sport / physical activity is not optional. I fully expect to find it harder to enforce that when they are 10 so will have to see how things go. At the moment at least, it’s one of the few things I am strict about.

Junior parkrun is 2k and they can do it up to age 14.

A park run is only 5km, at any speed. I think I'd be worried if a ten year old struggled with that.

His free time was free for him to choose what he wanted to do (music and computer programming).
He'd just watch cartoons and forget to brush his teeth before bed. If left to his own devices.

Surely for ParkRun you have to be able to run and I don't mean a short sprint to catch a bus.
Yeah he's fit, healthy, slim but solid, fast on his feet. Really sociable. Good academically in most subjects, excels at creative writing and english (needs a bit of work on his maths tho).
Which actually just makes me more annoyed because he'd be really capable if he found something, anything, he enjoyed to do.

Might see if Parkrun is of interest. I'd do it with him.

Do you or he have some sort of social disorder? This child is at secondary school and you're marshalling him round like a sheepdog - let him be, let him just do stuff with his mates. Christ alive, my kids would have disowned me if I'd micromanaged them to this extent then suggests going for a jog with them.

This will all come home to roost with years of therapy for him.

Some if us can be happy without it being organised. Just because he's not interested now does not mean he won't want to do things when older - he's not 45 living in your basement playing Warhammer.
All you are doing is putting him off everything rather than letting him develop and interest in something.
You sound socially anxious and fucking exhausting frankly.

His friends & people in his year group do...
Rugby (which he's not tried, but said no to)
Football - lots do grassroots/junior clubs
One is the type of kid who is excellently sporty and a general all-around, but is a Jehovah's witness, so not allowed to join teams/clubs, unfortunately.
Lots do swimming.
One girl does tennis to touring/county level.
One girl does horse riding.
Few do gymnastics/cheerleading.
Few martial arts.
A few Brownies
Dunno if there's any dancers, but haven't hear of any doing it.

He's not easily led, so wouldn't necessarily want to do something just because his friends are and enjoy it.

Too many kids now have every minute of their day planned out by parents & school, they don't have time to just be kids & learn to entertain themselves. If he isn't interested in sport nothing you can do will make him interested, he may just be the kind of child who is happier sat reading a book. Let him have space to make up his own mind what he wants to do.

This child is at secondary school
....not yet. 10 year old/year 6

he's not 45 living in your basement playing Warhammer
😂😂 not if I can help it lol

Hand on heart - I don't micromanage or helicopter parent, he's got loadsssss of free time.
The activities he's tried spans Reception to Year 6.

But like a lot of replies, I do think he needs to do something/anything.
Would be easier if he did it because he wanted to. Picked something for himself

If sailing was only a no because it was a bit scary (I think it is at first) and kayaking is something he's shown some interest in, what about Sea Cadets?

Or Sea Scouts.

I wasn't so 'pushy' about my son doing organised extra curricular activities when he was at primary as he would spend every lunchtime running around like a lunatic, playing football, dodgeball, tag. And after school we'd more often than not go to the park across the road from school for half an hour at least.

But since he started secondary that's all changed. He's reluctant to join in playing football or basketball at lunchtime because of the older boys, he was when he started but he finds them too rough. So now he sits about with his mates playing on his chromebook and listening to music.

There are 2 organised lunchtime activities that he could take part in, he does the football one as it's just Years 7 and 8, but the other one is open to all year groups which he says is chaos.

He has PE for an hour twice a week, nowhere near enough in my opinion.

So he's gone from lots of daily exercise to very little.

He's my only child and I don't work so we often go out in the garden and kick a ball around for half an hour, or venture up to the park if we have time.

If I didn't push him to take part in activities he would spend all of his time on the PS4 or on his phone. If I took them away he would just huff and puff about being bored!

Let him try orienteering and map reading. Drop him off 50 miles away and tell him to make his own way home. Is good for the legs, lungs and brain, he'll have to think.