Extra curricular activities - aibu?

[GreatOne]

To expect DS aged 10 to do one sport and maybe even be grateful for it?
Has no interest in anything at all.....So I'm just wasting my time and money??

At that age, mine prefered running around the park. Playing football in the park. Going trampolining. Riding their bikes etc.

One of the reasons they didn't like the after-school organised stuff was that it also included representing the school.
Another thing was because it was all organised, so felt like they were still in school.

how many 10 year old will walk in the park every day for an hour? I suppose if you have dogs and you take them out every single day...
It's a bit sad, sport is good to socialise as well

Why on earth should children be forced to do a sport and another activity if they dont enjoy it.?

So they don’t become fat and lazy.

As for the other activity: everyone had to learn an instrument in my family. Having a diverse set of skills may be beneficial for brain development, offer career opportunities... there are other benefits to having a hobby (obviously).

I think it's important he does some sort of physical activity

I completely agree!

Sports massively helped my confidence as a kid. If i had a bad day academically, I could go have a good session physically instead.

Socially every lunch time to boys did football and those who couldn't keep up where left out. As lame as it sounds, the 'cool kids' did sports (i wasnt cool! But meant that I did know that circle well and wasn't isolated/intimidated. Not explaining that well probably)
~As an adult I'm now unfit and overweight but it served it's purpose for many many years until I went a bit downhill recently~

I want him to have the something to do and maybe even do it enthusiastically and gratefully.
Wish I'd been encouraged this much as a kid!

Most 10 year olds spend an hour a day tearing round the playground anyway. Playing out with friends on bikes, walking to school, is all healthy movement that requires little cost and little organisation. Playing in the garden is active. Yes sport can be social but if you dont like it then it becomes arduous, and if you are miserable kids will leave you alone so you wont benefit ffom the social side. Far better to find an activity you do enjoy even if its a non sporty one

Does he ride a bike? Organised sport is not to everyone's taste but cycling is good exercise.

If you’re concerned about activity levels then maybe Parkrun would be a good option as it’s free and attracts a lot of different ages - a lot have great community spirit.
My eldest is 9 and if she wanted to quit everything I would let her. However I wouldn’t let her replace those activities with extra screen time.

They don't do anywhere near enough during school hours for it to count to be "active". A 10 year old needs a lot more!

The question is: what does he do after school? If he finishes around 3:30pm and goes to bed around 8pm, that's a lot of hours to fill in.

My mother signed me up to all sorts of "lovely" activities. I hated them all. I cried and tried but still had to go. It just wasn't me. At that age school was enough. I was actually very shy inside And school was enough to overload me. I could fill my brain up at home but it just wasn't me, the same was true for my son. As I was older I became an entirely different person as has my son. Sometimes it's not the right thing. I resented having activities forced on me and still think it was terribly cruel as they were things I really didn't like. Every kid is different and I think they find their own likes which they are discouraged from in many cases when their mums keep coming up with endless lists( certainly in my own any my son's cases).
If you leave him e might become j retested in something his friends do or he hears about, he might want to be a cartoonist or potter or something you haven't heard of. If leave if for a bit personally. Maybe he's just too tired at the moment?

I was a naturally sporty kid, but didn’t do any organised sports as I hated it! We did lots of walking as a family and I used to go swimming with friends and running with my dad, also cycled everywhere. I also took o level p.e which probably helped!
My dd loves organised activities but DS hates it, so we do junior park run and he does lots of swimming, cycling at weekend. Also climbing wall with his sister and dad which he loves. He is 9 and very fit and healthy x

If you want to treat your son, do something he wants.

That's where I'm stuck, I've asked and getting no answers. Honestly doesn't want to do anything (except watch cartoons all day if he was allowed).

If he’s having fun there then just carry on. I don’t think kids are usually grateful for anything. It’s just how things are for them.

Uhhhh, kids ey

Same for me but I wish my mom had forced me to do it

Lol, lord help me ;)
Honestly, confused a tad if i keep encouraging him then

Ah, fortnite. How much time does he spend playing / is he on the computer or a similar device in general?
Screen time not an issue, I'm firm but fair with that. He doesn't really cross any boundaries I set regarding tv time.

Oh dear the poor child, why should he be grateful for being forced to do something he doesn't want to do? All because parent enjoyed doing it when they were young.

Unless he is overweight he shouldn't be forced into these activities, a lot of children hate them. Maybe he would enjoy reading a book, playing chess, programming a computer, or pursing more sedate activities.

Leave the poor boy alone to find out himself if there is anything he wants to do.

It slightly depends on the situation.
My girls always wanted to do more out of school activities than either they had time for or I could afford. Ds wasn't as interested. Then he was really ill for a few months and dropped everything.
when he'd recovered I realised he'd got into the habit of just sitting on the computer, so I gave him an ultimatum of having to choose one thing out of a list.
He chose drama because "it was only 1 hour and it was close". He moaned about it for a term and a half. One day he came out and asked to do another class and has never moaned again about it and now does 5 hours a week and would do more if he could.

So there can be an advantage in encouraging them.

I'm sure if I'd just waited for him to ask, that moment would never have arrived.

What does he actually do at home, when he isn't on a screen?

DS would sit and play xbox /watch TV if I let him, but I don't. He does tennis under duress, but enjoys it when he's there. He also does Scouts, which he moaned about, then tried it and loved it. He also plays a musical instrument and although it was "boring" at the start, he now chooses it as an activity over anything else. He also loves drawing /art. It's finding something that sparks interest.

Well... he's not exactly going to grateful for something he doesn't want to do. If he doesn't want to do any activities, don't send him to any and let him amuse himself.

Art, chess, judo? Drama, swimming. He does tennis, you could change every so often.soon be in secondary school and please himself

What about something like D&D or Warhammer?

We require a “sport”, but the definition of sport is loose. Dd has to have some sort of physical extracurricular. Right now she does dance. She is going to try archery and rock climbing over the summer and I suspect she may switch to one of those.

I am horrible at sports, but want to try to teach dd that being physically active is important.

I don't think kids should be forced to do any extra curricular activities. They are entitled to express their views and choosewhat to do with their free time.

From you list it sounds as though he has given a lot of things a go.

Wait until he starts secondary and see if there is anything that interests him, or he wants to do with his friends there.

The only other option I can think of is something like Scouts which would include a variety of different activities, so he might enjoy some weeks, and be prepared to endure those which aren't quite his thing.

Of course kids need to do exercise but not organised sport that they hate. Presumably the kid does PE in school and is active with his family (walks etc) then there's no issue. Sometimes sports like rock climbing are appealing to less sporty kids.

I don't really buy the "being too tired", unless he goes to bed at 5pm.
If nothing else, everybody sleeps better if they exercise and relax after spending the day sitting on a chair learning at school.

to the poster who wrote Unless he is overweight he shouldn't be forced into these activities why would you wait until a child is overweight! you keep them active and healthy so they don't become overweight. No need to touch the bottom here, keeping a happy medium is much healthier.

Having a diverse set of skills may be beneficial for brain development, offer career opportunities... there are other benefits to having a hobby (obviously).

Omgoodness, in complete agreement with you!
Which is why I'd prefer not to let him do nothing at all.

You may choose to enforce an activity, that's up to you. However, expecting him to regard it as a 'treat' is unreasonable - it's subjective, and he's entitled to his own opinions.

If you're conscious that your time is precious and feeling unappreciated, and mentioned that you've stopped keeping fit lately, would it be better to do something together? That way, he sees that you also value health and fitness for yourself (and thus are setting a good example) and you're building a close bond where he gets time with his mum. You might find you both really enjoy that!

Might see if Parkrun is of interest. I'd do it with him.
I'd count that as organised activity tho (few replies seem to regard it as not, but it's a set route, marshalled and set start time, etc)