Extra curricular activities - aibu?

[GreatOne]

To expect DS aged 10 to do one sport and maybe even be grateful for it?
Has no interest in anything at all.....So I'm just wasting my time and money??

I don't think you sound remotely like a helicopter parent/a pushy parent/socially anxious/whatever insults have been thrown your way for no reason whatsoever op.

Simply a parent who would like their ten year old child to keep healthy.

How about letting him learn to make his own music?

drumbit.app/ makes it possible to programme your own beats, for example.

There are free DAWS available online, such as reaper. Add a keyboard (it's easier than drawing each note in individually) and he could do everything. You can rip beats tracks from youtube and import them, then record other loops, add samples, etc, on top.

Or if you've got a mac, Garageband is bundled with it.

It combines music and computers without hundreds of hours of practice or lessons.

The only sport I enjoyed was Hockey (to be able to take my stresses of the day out on the people who had caused them) - or weight training. I have absolutely zero interest in any other sport whatsoever, even though I was a fair to middling 200m runner, could swim and quite frankly, most of the people I went to school with were utter dickheads, so Brownies/Guides and any other complsory group activity was just another few hours of being miserable.

I did like dance, but that wasn't allowed.

I also disliked school music lessons - but I taught myself to play everything else and now make a living from it - by choice.

I was happy watching B movies and drawing cartoons. Anything else would have been met with disinterest - particularly if I was being forced to do 'something' that met somebody else's ideas of what I should do.

'Too many kids have every minute planned out by parents'

I don't know of a single child who has this. I know many who do a daily extra curricular activity for an hour, but since there's about 8 hours spare to fill daily, (assuming 10 hours sleep, 6 hours school for a 10yo) there is plenty of time to do an activity plus have plenty of downtime.

My kids running around or climbing things is their downtime. They choose to do it as much as reading a book.

As we don't have a property big enough and I wouldn't let them roam around the countryside alone, it's better if they are doing enough organised sport activity. I really can't see the issue.
As above, they still have plenty of free time.

I'm with you OP I think it's really important for children to have hobbies.

My DS(13) is currently the whingey one when it comes to things, but that's the deal - he does something after school and then he can play on the PC after homework. I don't think 2 activities a week is excessive.

@ated 😂😂

Yes, because everyone lives in the middle of nowhere surrounded by rivers and woods

People who live in the middle of London have access to rivers and woods and open spaces. If op is considering doing Parkrun, she presumably has access to a good sized park.

@MitziK
That's a really unique suggestion. Non-sports too.
My worry is it falls into 'screen time category'?? But I could overlook that lol as it's markedly different from watching videos, it sounds very stimulating

Thanks

Now I'm wondering what other folks after school routine is?
4pm - 9pm ?

@MorondelaFrontera
You're right, it's a fair bit of time do to everything and nothing at all

What about Cubs? Although actually they go up to scouts around 10 1/2. Active but varied and with options of camps etc

I find this all a bit weird, tbh. When I was a kid extra-curricular activities were Brownies once a week for a couple of years. That's it. Why does it all have to be organised clubs and paid-for sports? You say he's a sociable boy and good at school. Great. Just let him be. Keep limiting the screen time, sure. And then let him do whatever he likes. Get a trampoline or take him on bike rides if you're really worried about his activity levels. But please, please, please, don't force him to have the childhood you would have loved. Let him have the one he wants.

After school routine...
Mine are younger (eldest is 8) so it will be different.

Two days a week I work so after school club or their dad has them after school.

Two days they do an activity so
School pick up
Packed tea or super quick tea at home before activity
Travel to activity
Do the activity (up to an hour)
Homework done at activity
Snack afterwards
Travel home
Get ready for bed
Time for telly, screens, faffing

One day they have nothing so they usually faff about on screens or complain that they are bored and ask what we are doing . In good weather they play out or in the garden (possibly less applicable to a 10 year old). Homework.

As you say there are hours and hours of time after school to fill. They have plenty of time to faff.

When I was a kid extra-curricular activities were Brownies once a week for a couple of years. That's it

we are all different. When I was a kid, we had activities pretty much every day too, and so did my parents. It's hardly a new concept.

@bluerussian - you can walk, run or jog park run and many people do a combination. My local one has finish times from 17 mins to 50 mins.

@TooStressyTooMessy that sounds pretty standard to me too.
So I'm not too far off the mark lol

Routine after school for my dd, also ten, as requested.
Monday - tennis after school,tea, swim club
Tuesday - football, gymnastics, tea
Weds - ballet, tea then swim club
Thursday - jazz, tea, swim club
Friday - play date plus youth club
Saturday - football match, comp dance
Sunday - hockey, swim club
She wants to add karate and more dance to this!

If he likes riding his bike how about bmxing or just taking him out for a ride? I hated school PE and "sports" but loved going out for long bike rides. Friend does bmx with her daughter, it looks like loads of fun!

I reckon there are two issues:

1. Daily physical activity for health reasons.
2. Involvement in structured sports and activities. In my view, the first is an absolute non negotiable for the DC, whereas the second is optional. As PP have said, it’s certainly possible to get exercise without taking part in a club. My 9 yr old has a similar aversion to ‘clubs’ but likes to exercise with me (outside rambling, swimming lengths, cycling, dance classes, roller or ice skating). He’s going to be a good gym buddy I reckon!

@arethereanyleftatall
Wowzers!!!!
(Here I am trying to get one done by him)

I know. Problem is, is everyone where we live does similar, so there's no one available for play dates, and no one plays in the street. Which is a shame. So, if she didn't do so many she'd either be on a screen or we'd be arguing about her being on a screen.

My Son is a Fortnite fan too, this has inspired him to take up Parkour (no jumping from rooftops just yet). It is an organised group held at the local skatepark (my ds also likes skateboarding and scootering) but it's also something he an take away and practise really easily.

That sounds like a lot of ferrying around for you / her dad arethereanyleft . Is she an only child? Do you have time to do any hobbies yourself or just relax at home sometimes?
I enjoy park run and DS1 will come with me but we only manage it once a month due to another hobby starting at 10.30 on the other side of town as I refuse to try and fit both into one morning. Luckily the other hobby is pay as you go.

How heavy is his prep load? I had to drop my main sport at that age until I found a session that ran at a better time & place. Might just need a bit of space to get in the swing. We'd just started getting a heavier workload with next day hand ins at that age- I was struggling and hated it. I'd also hate being forced to choose off a pre-approved list, with an adult circling, so is he just being incredibly stubborn?

Also, depending on his personality and his cohort at school, he might want or need down time from other people. I did. Similarly I did everything going at boarding school and then did sweet fa as a uni fresher because I wanted time to myself back. Joined in more 2nd & 3rd yr and now actively seek hobbies- including fitness despite loathing sports as child- as an adult. Lots of children also express an interest in things that we accept as hobbies in an adult but which are considered inferior to "organised fun" somehow for anyone under about 16. It's also somehow unacceptable to some people for children to want or need their own company.

Taswana- yes, it is, but it's all doable as i only work during school hours an hour or two a day, they're all in the town we live in, some walkable, we share lifts often with others. I fit my hobbies in during the school day. Dd2 has a similar schedule but it's all fine. They're very lucky to have the opportunities.

Just leave him alone I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being ferried about everywhere to do clubs.
He needs to be able to breathe to contemplate his navel.