All ex-wives are nutters...

[Theresahandbook]

Do Ex-husbands/partners have a handbook that they refer to after a break up?

Having read so many threads that sound so similar to the things my ex has done or the exes of my friends, I'm beginning to think there's a secret handbook.

These are the chapters I can think of-can anyone add any?

1. All ex-wives are mental/nutters/phsychos-tell them this at all times to ensure you continue to undermine them even though you've spilt

2. Be a complete twat but lie about it all the time and make out to everyone that you are perfect, charming and beyond reproach

3. Lie to the children about why you split up. Make sure it sounds like you were the victim. If you want to move to advanced level, take the worse things you did an tell the DCs all about it but switch roles so you were the victim not the perpetrator.

4. Don't wash the DCs when they stay, let them stay up as long as they want and make sure there is no nutritious food in the house

5. If you hear that your ex-wife is going out while you are having the DCs for your weekend of access call in sick-preferably at the last minute

6. If your ex-wife has a new car or goes on holiday, convince yourself that she's bought it out of the pitiful CM you pay and the DCs are therefore neglected.

Any more?

Clearly you are talking about my ex husband !

My ex-has has a few wives so it's entirely possible

Ime exes stop you taking the dsd on holiday as it won't be fair because she won't be there to see her having a good time!

we are mental as we have to put up with men

simple as lol

To give balance, plenty of ex couples manage to stay civil, both look after their children and generally be decent people.

Sorry you've had a hard time, but don't tar all ex-partners with the same brush.

My ex thinks I’m a lunatic
He and his new woman forget what HE did and why I don’t speak to him etc
Not many women would be with a man that has done the things he has and gone where he was
Yet I’m the crazy one
Although I wasn’t crazy enough to get out of that marriage sooner sadly
Just feel sad/worried for the kids they’ve brought into that household now tbh and that my kids are with me and safe

@NoBaggyPants -maybe they didn't get the handbook!!

Remember that on MN you uually only get one side of any story, partners, exes, MILs, the truth is probably somewhere nearer the middle. The woman is almost always the victim, especially in her own eyes.

@Kaykay06 - there's a lot of them about (not all, and maybe not most, but too many!!)

To be honest I believed what my ex-husband said about his ex-wife when we first got together...she sounded like a nightmare! Then it all started to become clear...

When a man says he has an ex who is nuts/a nightmare/stalking him it's a massive red flag. All the ones I've known who say this are bad news themselves.

Erk I don’t think I got the handbook.

Me and my ex-husband are great friends. I also socialise separately with his new wife.

Am I doing it wrong?!

@JacquesHammer -Not at all!! The handbook is a bloody nightmare.

Thirty years on, I will still tell you my DHs ex was a complete fruitloop at the time.

They split 2 years before I even met him. (She left him so she could 'find her self' ) But in her mind I stopped them getting back together (this was not on the cards) she would invite him out, even invited him round when I was pregnant, turned up at a function she knew he would be at the week after I gave birth, and was shocked when I was there too. Asked for photos of our child. She would turn up outside my work, go to restaurants/cafes I used, get my train home.

Absolute head case. Very glad when she relocated to NZ. She might have got over it by now ...... hope so shes apparently coming back to see family for the summer.

There’s also a bonus chapter in there that if they don’t see the children/cancel seeing them it’s their exes fault and she is stopping him seeing the children because she’s bitter. When I was OLD so many men told me about their crazy exes who stopped them seeing their kids 🙄

@Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge
Ah, mines a bit different-they tell the DCs they're taking them on holiday, look at places on line and agree a date (first week Easter hols) with me.

Then less than a month before when I ask about final plans do I can buy holiday clothes for DCs as I'd only got one shopping weekend with them I was informed that they weren't taking them. Then went two weeks later in their own...I wonder if he told the new wife that I wouldn't let them go (not suggesting that's what you DH has done but I wouldn't put it past mine!)

Says he's not taking them anywhere in the summer hols either and usually says he's off but goes to work!

@MyOpinionIsValid ...now I didn't say none of them are nutters!!

Does anyone else get "I'm trying just give me a break"...we split over 8 years ago and he still hasn't worked out a way of picking her up on time just 2 days a month...or paying maintenance....or picking up the phone and calling her ever.

The creepy one that really scares me is when he says in a predatory tone "I love you, we will always be a family, you can't get rid of me".
You never loved me you just think you own me because we blended DNA. Now fuck off you creep!

My DD father never arrives on time for visitation...If he turns up at all.

For a guy that is a mechanic with his own business he has an awful lot of car trouble...he also spends an awful lot of time in hospital. He once sent me a picture of his broken back...reverse search on google will catch you out! CNUT

@whothedaddy -eeewwww!!!

In fairness l think l have been very tolerant and sane especially as my ex-husband cheated on me with one of my friends and is now married to her. He would say l wasn't but yeah l did want the money out of the house l had paid towards. He thought l would leave everything for him 😂 walk away with £5k and a knackered car

I'm with Jacques....I'm an ex wife....get on brilliantly with ex husbands DW....I'm also doing it wrong

Or.....maybe I just think we get on brilliantly and in actual fact she hates me and has written many a thread about me on here 😂😂😂 Theres a thought !!

Interesting.......I split up with my Ex-H 7 years ago due to his emotional abuse and cheating but i think he must have got a copy of 'the handbook'
I'm still friends with my ex-SIL and we still have some mutual friends. Apparently his new wife ( who I've never met) won't let my name be mentioned and makes him drive the long way round to his parents to avoid driving past the church we got married in. His brothers and sisters won't even look at me when we've occasionally been at the same event and i'm not even allowed in my SILs house even if her DH is out....it makes me wonder what he's told people about me!! They all know he cheated and was controlling but he must have told them i did something worse!!

I think some have the handbook and implement it to the letter!

Some dip into the handbook when they fancy or when things don't go their way

Some have the handbook but don't use it or didn't receive it -ladies, if you have one of these you are very lucky!

I wonder what my exH told his new girlfriend as apparently she was scared of me.

When I left exH house and moved into my flat I deleted his number and never contacted him. Any contact was by him. Why though i dont know as we didnt have kids.