All ex-wives are nutters...

[Theresahandbook]

Do Ex-husbands/partners have a handbook that they refer to after a break up?

Having read so many threads that sound so similar to the things my ex has done or the exes of my friends, I'm beginning to think there's a secret handbook.

These are the chapters I can think of-can anyone add any?

1. All ex-wives are mental/nutters/phsychos-tell them this at all times to ensure you continue to undermine them even though you've spilt

2. Be a complete twat but lie about it all the time and make out to everyone that you are perfect, charming and beyond reproach

3. Lie to the children about why you split up. Make sure it sounds like you were the victim. If you want to move to advanced level, take the worse things you did an tell the DCs all about it but switch roles so you were the victim not the perpetrator.

4. Don't wash the DCs when they stay, let them stay up as long as they want and make sure there is no nutritious food in the house

5. If you hear that your ex-wife is going out while you are having the DCs for your weekend of access call in sick-preferably at the last minute

6. If your ex-wife has a new car or goes on holiday, convince yourself that she's bought it out of the pitiful CM you pay and the DCs are therefore neglected.

Any more?

Yes I think its sad when posters describe their dh's ex as mad or difficult especially when young kids are involved

Tbh this sounds like my DP ex wife 🤣

vulpine sometimes its true.....

Well if they were half decent human beings they wouldn't be our ex-husbands! Personally, like most women with dcs to consider, i would have settled for a safe boring marriage with a kind man who had high regard for me, but that's not what i had in ex h.

@Vulpine
It is often true, unfortunately MN are very biased to women no matter their behaviour. I have experienced first hand the completely irrational cruel behaviour of a woman towards her ex and not caring the hurt it caused her DC as long as she got to be bitter and angry, personally attacked and vilified when I had bugger all to do with anything. Plenty women use their DC as weapons to manipulate, we need to accept women can be every bit as vicious as men if not more so.

1 and 2 definitely

Rubbish bookworm. Studies have widely disproved 'parental alienation' of children towards fathers. Most incidents of DV and child sexual abuse are very hard to prove, and sadly when women try to protect their children from living alone with a child molester or violent man, the MRA brigade feel justified in labelling the mother as abstructive or vindictive. Luckily the family courts no longer recognise parental alienation in this context.

ruffle I must have been imagining the past 6 years of my life then...

parental alienation definitely DOES exist, and whilst most mothers DO want the best for their children, some honestly only want what is best for themselves.

I don't really understand why you're bringing DV and sexual abuse into it, parental alienation happens to normal, nice parents, who haven't done anything like this.

Courts still recognise parental alienation, and so they bloody should.

Another one here who hasn't read the handbook. Me and exh get along great, I get on great with his DP too, even been out for drinks with her!

It may be true sometimes but on mumsnet it seems to be the case most of the time. Although I guess you're less likely to be posting if every thing is hunky dory with your dh's ex. In general I feel the new wife is pretty quick to believe that wife no 1 is mad/bad.

@RuffleCrow
You are very naive, plenty of women alienate the father of their children through sheer bitterness, not every divorce involves DV and abuse, some women are just nasty horrible people. I cannot stand this martyrdom of women, your comment is ludicrous.

Oh the irony....

vulpine True. it does annoy me though, when I state that dps ex is a nightmare, that people assume that is just what he has told me, when actually the opposite is true.

You realise both partners are exes after the split, right?

Not anymore, thankfully Mavis.

@RuffleCrow
Are you being deliberately obtuse? Do you truly believe no woman turns her DC against their father, out of sheer bitterness? I think you need the 🍪🍰 everything 🤣🤣

Mine plays victim and lies all the time... and bullies me into making decisions I'm not happy with. Didn't want me moving in with my boyfriend because he wants to control me still.

I haven't seen my fruitcake of an ex H for over 20 year's, makes me soooooooo happy

There are a lot of threads on here that would actually support it.

I think more bitter ex’s than nutters

I get on really well with my husband's ex wife!

I’m not trying to enforce anything, you just won’t accept that some women are nasty and do inflict emotional distress on their DC, you are obviously blinkered and seem to be enforcing a women are always the victim stereotype, please give your sanctimonious diatribe a rest. We are all entitled to our opinion without your condescending remarks. You sound rather bitter yourself 🙄

Bitter, eh? Nope, I'm sweet as something pleasant but not too sickly. Maybe a vanilla yoghurt.

Nobody is saying women never behave badly. Of course there are isolated incidents of most things if you're looking for them. But it is certainly not something that is happening on the scale most new female partners of abusive men would like to think. It's almost like they have a lot riding on the image they've constructed.

At least that's what researchers have concluded and courts have acknowledged very recently.

You are making the assumption that the men in these situations are abusive, that is a generalisation, you are aware women can be abusive and controlling? DV towards men is a huge issue, not every woman in a divorce/split is the wronged one, that’s a dangerous and naive assumption.