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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Here or is my friend being awful?

151 replies

onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 09:59

I have started dating a guy,we get on so well and I really like him.
He is my good friends friend.
She has known him years and socialises in a group with him.
Every time me and him chat when she's around I feel her eyes burning the back of my head.
She's tried to cause trouble between me and him by saying I'm a bunny boiler and that I'm super jealous person (I'm neither)
Anyway on Friday me and her and her friend are going to Scotland for a concert.
Well I thought we were ...
Everything is paid for but she's turned around and said I'm not welcome in her car as I clearly prefer him over her.
I said that she was being ridiculous and I'm sorry she feels like this,I said can we clear the air and sort this out.
She sent me page after page of abusive messages saying I was a awful person and hope it doesn't work between me and him.
Once again I said we have been looking forward to this event for ages,I haven't done anything wrong.
She said I've been giving him all my attention and to go and ask him for a lift.
I've sat and cried all night.
I do all sorts for her.
I've done her shopping,made her tea last week.
Lend her money /clothes etc
Why is she being so awful?
She's never excluded.

OP posts:
Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:33

@IceCreamSoda99 I have all her messages thankfully so If she tried to cause trouble I have it all to show him thankfully.
She's taking medication for depression I wonder if this could be contributing

OP posts:
SerenDippitty · 13/06/2019 10:33

It’s jealousy of some sort for sure, even if she doesn’t fancy either of you she may just be jealous that you are dating someone and she isn’t.

Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:34

She's been saying he isn't really into me and is just going to ditch me.
I think she's trying to make me paranoid tbh

OP posts:
IHateUncleJamie · 13/06/2019 10:36

You’re 31?? I thought you were going to say 17. Jesus.

Demand that she either grows up and stops being so ridiculous OR gives you your money back. Stop pandering to her tantrums.

Purplecatshopaholic · 13/06/2019 10:36

She is jealous. If it was me, I would just ignore her and enjoy my relationship

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 13/06/2019 10:36

Is he going to Scotland?

IHateUncleJamie · 13/06/2019 10:37

She's taking medication for depression I wonder if this could be contributing

So am I and it hasn’t turned me into a jealous stroppy mare. She’s showing you who she really is. Listen.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/06/2019 10:37

Do you have text messages agreeing for her to drive you there? Does she have your tickets? Or will she be using your hotel booking?

I’d be accepting the friendship is over. But I’d also consider trying to recoup my money. She may be depressed or fancy him but behaving appallingly isn’t an excuse. 31 fgs!

Theworldisfullofgs · 13/06/2019 10:39

She either fancies him or she fancies you.

Personally I'd not want to be friends with someone who isn't happy for me

MrsBertBibby · 13/06/2019 10:39

Some people just don't like their friends to have anyone else important. I had a friend like this. Whenever I was in a LTR she would pick holes in the guy, guilt trip me for not visiting her (she would never visit me, of course). She generally had a partner on the go, and often more than one. Always with the intrigue.

She's no longer in my life and it feels SO GOOD! I hadn't realised how shit she made me feel about myself.

Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:39

No there is me and her plus two of her friends.
Me and her were sharing a room but she's cancelled the hotel room and she is jumping in with them two.
She said if you wana go then il see you f*cking there.

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 13/06/2019 10:40

Textbook jealousy. How badly do you want to go? I'd rather not go at all as she's just going to ruin it.

ComeAndDance · 13/06/2019 10:41

Organise you trip to Scotland with the guy.
Enjoy yourself and keep her at bay because she will cause trouble.

Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:41

@Mummyoflittledragon yeah she has the tickets.
I asked her if anyone fancied going in my place and she said "your fucking ticket you find someone"
I asked could I collect it this morning she said no she won't be in.
She will tell me when it's convenient for me to collect it.

OP posts:
llangennith · 13/06/2019 10:41

Cut her right out your life and block her on social media. If you and your new boyfriend are to have any chance of having a long term relationship you need to stop socialising with her.

TheInvestigator · 13/06/2019 10:42

She wanted him and you got him. Nothing you do or say will stop her behaviour, but this is on her. Not you! You've done nothing wrong.

Honestly though, you should show him the messages and discuss the situation with him. Maybe there's a history you don't know about (him rejecting her?), even if there isn't then at least you'd have his support and she wouldn't be able to stir up any more problems.

Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:42

@Pinkyyy I would be by myself anyone as she's said they are her friends and I would be getting ignored.

OP posts:
ComeAndDance · 13/06/2019 10:42

Sorry I understood he was going with you.

In that case, either organise a hotel and transport yourself and go to the concert.
Or cancel everything and ask for a refund (or for your ticket and seek it online)

Nofunkingworriesmate · 13/06/2019 10:42

she is absolutely no friend of yours or his if she wantd him to be happy
he needs to know and see messages
end of frienship

Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:43

@ComeAndDance it would mean sitting next to her and her friends.
I think I'm going to cut my losses and just not go.

OP posts:
MyOpinionIsValid · 13/06/2019 10:43

Did you do a thread yesterday - the one about the friend, the car, 300 quid, concert, and she also used the term 'third wheel' about a boyfriend.

Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:44

@MyOpinionIsValid I did ...I've just changed changed the day we are going just incase she reads here and finds out it's me.

OP posts:
Original poster
onefootinthemud · 13/06/2019 10:45

I've changed my user name also just incase

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 13/06/2019 10:45

I hope you can afford to write of the ticket because you'll never see it.

Technically she's stolen from you but I doubt Small Claims would be interested.

She's jealous and you and your boyfriend need to ignore.

She's showing herself up and others will soon notice.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/06/2019 10:46

Get your ticket. See if you can sell it online - worth a try.

If she refuses to give you your ticket, take her to the small claims court.

She's a jealous twat.

Draw a line under this "friendship". You and your BF may live happily ever after, or you may not, but either way you don't need her crap in your life.

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