AIBU to say that if you work in child protection you shouldn't post pictures of yourself wanking at work in fetish gear?

[ArcheryAnnie]

People do all kinds of things in their private life, and - as long as it's all consensual, and involving adults, in private - that's absolutely fine with me. Even if it involves fetish stuff that I find deeply unsexy. It's your private time and your business.

But if you bring your fetish into work, that's really inappropriate. Involving other people in your kink without their consent is not OK.

If you bring your fetish into work and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, that's way, way beyond really inappropriate.

If you work in child protection campaigning, and bring your fetish into work, and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, and take a photo of yourself while doing it, and upload that photo onto the internet, then you probably need to consider whether a career in child protection is really for you.

(And if you are doing this while working on campaigns about abused and neglected children, you should not be surprised when people ask what made you so aroused.)

And dear NSPCC - who I used to have a direct debit to, and who used to be in my will - people objecting to this are not being homophobic or "bullying". Many of who are objecting to your staff member's actions are ourselves gay. We just seem to have a better grasp of safeguarding than you do.

Ugh is entirely the right response. Or possibly yuck. It's horrible. It's grooming in plain sight.

This caught my eye in that article “sex workers support between five and eight other people with their earnings”
I don’t know if i’m making too much of a leap here- but do most women in work “support between 5 and 8 other people with their earnings”? It seems a lot-and to me suggests, for example, immigrant families living in poverty, or other really tough set ups...........

And yes of course life should be safer for sex workers and they should not be criminalised. I don’t understand the liberal feminist narrative that radical feminists hate sex workers and what to criminalise them. We want to criminalise the punters and make a world where no woman has to sell her body to survive.

make a world where no woman has to sell her body to survive

This. A gazillion times.

Except that 'criminalising the punters' has been shown, over and over again, not to work as a way of making life safer and better for sex workers. It just leads to increased stigma for sex workers, more mistreatment of them by both clients and the police and increased risk.

Except that 'criminalising the punters' has been shown, over and over again, not to work as a way of making life safer and better for sex workers. It just leads to increased stigma for sex workers, more mistreatment of them by both clients and the police and increased risk

It’s decriminalisation that causes that.

"I exchange payment in the form of money with people to provide them with advice and treatment for sex-related problems; therapy for sexual performance, counseling and therapy for relationship problems, and treatment of sexually transmitted infection. Isn't this basically sex work?"

Jesus, yes, it's exactly the same thing as being raped by multiple men a day.

These middle class idiots need to give their head a shake before they speak. They seriously know nothing about how things work for people with no money.

" I don’t understand the liberal feminist narrative that radical feminists hate sex workers"

Because they don't actually read or think critically and just base everything they think and say purely on what feeds the narrative of themselves as young and sexy and "not a regular feminist I'm a cool feminist".

Exactly IAmAlwaysLikeThis

The bullshit gaslighting.

I'm quite sure the person responsible for that quote would swap positions in a heartbeat! Because you know, doing physical examinations that first require consent and then dispensing medicines is exactly the same as being forced to swallow the cum from several strange men every night. They're the same! Except girls, don't forget your special privilege...you have not 1, not 2, but 3 orifices to be used at men's disposal. Lucky you!!! so entreprenuerial!!

This reminds me of a documentary on the SuperBrothels in Germany. The owner of one had a daughter who if I remember correctly was at university. The daughter came with him to examine the brothel in order to learn how to run it as she would inherit the business.

Asked what she felt about superbrothels and the girls. Oh it was a positive choice, they help women move on etc Nothing wrong with them.

Asked if it was a 'career' path she would choose. Face changed, found keeping eye contact with camera difficult. No.. it's not something I would do. It's not for me.

About sums up the hypocrisy of these MC do gooders.

“These middle class idiots need to give their head a shake before they speak”

What, including the many “middle
class idiots” who think this woman is speaking bollocks?

People can do what they want in their own time so long as it’s all consenting adults.

Don’t bring it into work.
Don’t wank in work toilets.

Doesn’t matter you job, sexual orientation or fetish.

Eaxctly. I'm quite partial to my fetish gear.

I don't bring it to work.

I don't wank in the toilets.

I don't see how this matter is connected with homophobia in general. I'm heterosexual. I know what's acceptable in the workplace. I expect others to know the same, regardless of their sexuality.

I used to be a liberal feminist, although I wasn't keen on the word feminism. I was sure that women should have to right to choose to engage in sex work and we should focus on making this choice as safe as possible.
Five years working in ex mining villages in the north sorted out those nonsense ideas. I saw prostitution was inherently dangerous, used as a way of controlling woman and girls by dangerous men.
Because it provided a quasi legal way of making money for drug addiction meant that women's drug issues received minimal attention.
It's occupational status meant that teenagers weren't always as protected as they should have been from sexual abuse.

"What, including the many “middle
class idiots” who think this woman is speaking bollocks?"

I thought from the context, "these" was clear. "These middle class idiots who are saying this shite."

Sorry that I have to point that out to you, PA Hmm face.

“I thought from the context, "these" was clear. "These middle class idiots who are saying this shite.“

What makes you think they are middle class?

ReanimatedSGB

There is above difference between wanting to try and keep prostituted women safe and trying to legitimise prostitution to the extent that it is like any other job.

It isn’t like any other job. It isn’t ok to pretend to teenagers that it is.

I want - and actively work towards - a world where women have other options and where society stigmatises the living fuck out of men who want to buy the right to stick their cock into someone who would rather not be there. I want society to see these men as abusive rapists.

I believe in enthusiastic consent: that is not what happens when women are prostituted.

To market this to teenage girls is liberal feminism gone completely nuts.

This is eye-opening. I was put right off the NSPCC when my DD was a baby because they sent begging letters that included disturbing stories of murder, torture and physical abuse in the name of 'waking you up to the issues.' I was aware of the issues, thank you. I didn't need to be encountering 18-rated material when opening my post.

This just adds a more sinister layer to a deeply corrupt organisation.

It's one of the reasons you get so much overlap between 'progressives' who hate sex work and right-wingers who hate it - the issue is a furious resistance to the idea that women's bodies belong to them alone. If you don't want to take up sex work, don't take it up. But stop trying to impose your irrational hatred of transactional sex on other people.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being against transactional sex. Whenever money is involved, the idea of choice is corrupted. We are not talking about doing something fun or actively desired, which happens to earn you some pocket money. We are talking about people (mostly women) who have to alienate themselves from their own bodies, their wishes, their sense of self, in order to put food on the table.

That is the reality of the vast majority of "transactional sex".

If you don't want to take up sex work, don't take it up

Oh FFS.
Yep. Tell that to trafficked girls and women. Tell that to drug addict girls and women. Tell that to survivors of abuse, those with MH struggles or those in domestically violent conditions.

www.independent.co.uk/voices/universal-credit-dwp-survival-sex-work-will-quince-a8963336.html?amp&__twitter_impression=true
The DWP accepted my evidence that Universal Credit pushes people into survival sex work – but that doesn’t mean they care
I find it strange that the department was thoroughly disinterested when we were starving to death, and yet have suddenly found a moral compass when we have been forced to find a way to survive

IBE
LOGIN
Voices
The DWP accepted my evidence that Universal Credit pushes people into survival sex work – but that doesn’t mean they care
I find it strange that the department was thoroughly disinterested when we were starving to death, and yet have suddenly found a moral compass when we have been forced to find a way to survive

When Will Quince MP apologised for a memorandum sent by the Department for Work and Pensions that denied that Universal Credit had seen an increase in survival sex, he attributed his changed mind to the “brave testimonies of the young women” who gave evidence in private to the Work and Pensions Select Committee.

Not only did he retract the original memorandum, which insisted there was no direct link between Universal Credit and increases in prostitution, but he submitted a revised version conceding that there was a link, if not an “over simplistic” one.

I was surprised at this U-turn and even more shocked at the apology, given the government’s refusal to accept, let alone say sorry for, things like the systemic violations of the rights of persons with disabilities that a United Nations Committee had previously accused it of. For a moment I thought that this might mark the point where the government finally noticed sex workers and considered ways to improve our lives.

And

It would be naïve to think that this sudden interest in survival sex has anything to do with a commitment to the welfare of benefit claimants. Rather, stories about the horrors of prostitution tend to sell papers and the whole affair has become something of a PR nightmare. Comparing the old and new versions of the DWP memorandum sees not only a new acceptance of links between Universal Credit and survival sex work but a conspicuous shift from the arguably negative term “prostitute” to the more respectful “sex worker” as the department try extra hard to convince people that they actually care about us.

stop trying to impose your irrational hatred of transactional sex on other people
I'd be supportive of your comments if we could be sure that 100% of prostituted women were doing it out of informed choice (they aren't) and the gap between demand and supply wasn't filled by trafficked, raped, drugged and coerced women and girls. I'd also be more supportive if there was an obligation on the part of the punters to make it known to their partners/wives that they had paid for a bodily orifice to masturbate into. I would think that knowledge would put most straight women off their men, no?
It's very rarely a transaction between two equal people, the empowered "happy hooker" and the single man-about-town. What happens in relationships where a man has learned that sexual boundaries can be overcome with cash? That the kinks he daren't ask his wife to perform can be paid for elsewhere? Will his ability to buy a (likely trafficked) female body to wank into improve his view of women? Will it make him appreciate his wife more? All seems fairly unlikely. And the recently published series of punternet reviews show that punters don't much care about existing sexual injuries, and complain about a lack of enthusiasm anyway. "I've paid good money so she better smile and swallow" basically. Plenty of reviews that detail conversations between punters and prostituted women where the latter explain that they are tired or in pain. These are the words of the punters themselves. One memorable exchange involved a trafficked woman asking for help, the punter actually submitted a "review" mentioning this and doubting her story.

If it was possible to allow the empowered "happy hooker meets single man-about-town" and prevent all the coercion, drugs, theft of earnings, slavery, trafficking, rape, etc then I'd have some sympathy for the pro "sex work" argument.
Unfortunately all the evidence points to decriminalisation being terrible for women. And that's all I care about. No man has the right to sex.

It's not a simple binary between 'happy hookers' and victims of abuse/trafficking. Plenty of sex workers 'enjoy' their job about as much as a call centre worker/checkout operator/care worker does, but have decided that sex work is currently the better option for them (higher hourly rate, more flexibility when it comes to choosing the hours you want to work.)
The majority of organisations which work with vulnerable people are in favour of [[https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/decreasing-human-trafficking-through-sex-work-decriminalization/2017-01 decriminalisation]] because they are aware that the prohibitionist approach leads to shit like this.

I really don't think you can compare the unpleasantness of having to allow a potentially violent or otherwise repellant stranger access to your body with the boredom of call centre work.

Lovely to see the usual suspects normalising prostitution as a career path......

Actually. No, it’s not lovely. It’s vile.

If you don't want to take up sex work, don't take it up.

Are you for real?

It's not a simple binary between 'happy hookers' and victims of abuse/trafficking
Yeah it is. The "at least it's not a call centre" types are happy hookers. The rest are not.

There are two groups, one encompasses women who do sex work willingly because it pays better than other work (and they are happy with this, and have no physical or mental side effects) and the other one encompasses the other 99.9% of women stuck having to put up with endless unwanted sex (on a good day) or rape and beatings (on a bad day).

Plenty of sex workers 'enjoy' their job except every survey ever done showed that over 90% were desperate to leave prostitution, with a proportion of the remaining 10% unable to even envisage being able to find other work.

There just isn't any proof anywhere of any sizeable percentage of prostituted women claiming they enjoy their work, have made good money from it, have chose it willingly, are free to leave, are free to set boundaries and expect that those boundaries are respected, that they even get to keep the majority of their wages, that they aren't subject to unfair business practices like high "room rent" which means a woman has to be fucked eight times before she starts to make a penny... There's nothing that suggests it's anything other than massively shit for 99.9% of women and girls involved.

Der Spiegel did a good exposé on this nonsense, there turned out to be a handful (single figures) of women registered as tax paying "sex workers" and the police have given up on trying to even measure the extent of trafficking in Germany because they couldn't legally access the brothels...