Sister annoyed as new DD name too similar to her DD

[Cantfindaname123]

DN is 5. I barely see Dsis and DN as we live quite far away (think 4 hour drive), so we only really see each other at christmases, weddings and finerals. DN is named Isabella.

Our DD (2 months) is called Arabella. I was aware that it is quite similar but nobody owns a name, it isn't even the same name anyway, and we barely see each other.
When we announced name Dsis was quite upset, we 'stole her child's name' etc.

It has now been almost 3 months and Dsis is still not talking to me, she's got DM on her side, DM keeps telling me how much I've upset my sister, and couldn't I have picked a different name blah blah.

AIBU to say I can call DD what I like, it isn't even the same name, and she can get a grip?

This thread rather makes me smile. My DH comes from a culture where the oldest boy is named after the father's father, and the oldest girl is named after the father's mother, the second boy is named after the mother's father and the second girl is named after the mother's mother. The father or mother's name is then given as a second name. So that, for example if the William the son of Charles and Diana married Kate, then the oldest boy would be called Charles William, and the oldest girl would be called Diana Kate etc. That means that all the oldest first cousins on the father's side have the same first name, and just a different second name, and all the second first cousins on the mother's side have the same first name and different second names.

In my family the tradition is to name after recently deceased family (but not living family), so that if a grandfather or great grandfather dies right before (or is deceased) DC are produced, then all the cousins born around that time are likely to have variations of the grandfather's name etc etc. Again leading to cousins usually having very similar names (and that may include surnames if from the father's side). It was considered bad luck to name after someone alive (wheras in the case of DH, they were usually alive at the time of having numerous grandchildren named after them).
In our case we ended up melding the two traditions - so that our oldest DS was named after DH's father (who in fact was deceased at that time, so satisfied my tradition), but with a second name from someone on my side who was deceased. And then our second DS was named not after my DF, who was alive, but after his father, so going up that line, to the point where we reached someone no longer alive.
But to me cousins with very similar names seems so normal, and would be expected.

My sons name is very similar to my cousins and they have thier birthdays the same day, no one got upset. In fact we always have a laugh About it. People need to lighten up

BTW, my DH is the third son, and hence the first in which my PIL actually had a choice of name, rather than having to follow tradition!

Isabella and Arabella?

What on earth!!

Christ so many names out there to pick from. I do think it's a bit off. Apart from anything else, that means your mother has 2 grandchildren with the same name basically. Bizarre!

Did you do it on purpose to piss her off?!

I am baffled by people who think these are 'the same name basically'.

They are really not the same name. And the older is known as Issy, which is never, ever going to get confused with Arabella. There is literally no reason for the OP's sister or mother to complain about anything, except to cause drama and fuss with them at the centre of it.

My dad is called Phillip and so is my cousin
I wanted ‘jack’ for one of mine but she came out with a part missing!lol my sis in law and bro called theirs ‘jakson’ I didn’t give it a thought-it was their choice

It's nice that they rhyme! In 1975 I lived next door to siblings called Karen, Sharon and Darren

Some families just need drama op. Yanbu but it is the sort of thing my family would kick off about ignore their drama & enjoy your lovely new dd xxx

I think yabu calling your daughter Arabella to begin with... Sorry

I think your sister is overreacting but I also think you have BU in your choice of name.

Yes, they are two different names, but they are extremely similar, they 'sound' the same, they can be shortened to the same NN, etc etc. If it was me, I would have never made that choice and understand why your sister might be a bit

Also, to those of you comparing this to naming the first child as the father/mother/grandparents, or the Spanish Maria this Maria that, those are traditions. This is not.

How bizarre, they are different names!

My dds cousin is Mia, when pregnant I loved Maya, but discounted it as they shared a surname, would attend the same childminder, same school, see them a few times a week and would have gotten confusing. You dont see them often, their lives are not heavily intertwined and I really see no problem. Both are lovely names. She needs to get a grip

Yabu

I'd be very annoyed in your sisters position. There are so many names and you chose it thinking possible nickname Bella (cousin to Isabella)

And I think it's natural to get annoyed and frustrated at people choosing such similar names. Similar names are confusing and people stumble over them.

I get a bit annoyed and confused about my ds having 3 of his best friends (and there are only 5 of them) having the same same. And it's not a name that can be shortened or nicknamed, although one has added an -ie. And it's still a name that is near the top of the popular name lists so people are still picking it.

And these are just random friends not cousins!

Why not Ariana or Aria or if you like Bella how something ending in Ella?

YANBU. They're completely different names, you live miles away and seldom meet up anyway. Lot of fuss about nothing.

What the hell is wrong with people and names! They're two different names which obviously sound similar but it isn't the end of the bloody world for your sister to stop talking to you. She's being really unreasonable. You carried your daughter for 9 months and went through the ups and downs of pregnancy and labour so you get to choose whatever name you bloody like. Let your sis carry on being childish. You carry on with your family and leave her to it.

Eww Arabella sounds like a cats or a cows name, your sister should be thanking her lucky stars she didn’t think of it

I think she is over reacting especially if she already nicknames her child Izzy

But to rebuild the peace you perhaps should consider starting to refer to your daughter by a completely different nickname eg Ari . As eventually ppl will forget her full name. Bella is a bit close to home though as a nickname

Tell your sis you're going to swap the first and middle names.
She doesn't need to know that you won't really.

4 of my cousins on the same side are all called james. they r all close in age they are will into their 50s now but i cant imagin all the same name when younger

I think Arabella is a beautiful name. Don't understand the reference to a cow's name as they aren't usually named.

I don't get the cow thing reference either @chocmallows

If anything, surely DAISY is a 'cow' name.

I do like that name too though!

Agreed, Daisy is pretty too. But remember before picking names we all have to consult family that we hardly see to check we're not causing a major issue with our choice after all they have bagseed all the names first

I think she had overreacted but is reasonably annoyed.

In this case, the names do sound similar enough for me to think that it sounds a bit copied.

6 of one, half a dozen of the other. Your poor mum.

It’s possible that one day, the pair of you will grow up, get over your silly sibling rivalry and start appreciating each other. Or you might not.

If you would like to one day get past this nonsense, try not to do or say anything too nasty in the meantime.

I know you don't own a name, but I think people who chose similar are very stupid - unless they are using something really meaningful like mother's or grand-mother's name.

And I think people who want to police others choice of names for their children are stupid. You said it in your first sentence. You don't own a name.

Getting your panties in a bunch over someone else's choice of name for their child is laughable, and your sister's reaction, OP, is pathetic.

All these people who are "angry" at someone else choosing the same or similar names as one of your children, you do realise it's completely futile and a waste of energy as there's fuck all you can do about it and it's none of your business anyway.