To think my daughter was denied a basic right (an education) and that we've been treated like shit?

[dobrovnikdreams]

She spent Year 7 in a school in our home town where she was happy with friends. Towards the end of Year 7 due to unforseen circumstances (family related, won't get into it as irrelevant) we had to move to Wales and we did so through a council house swap through someone who wanted our city. She spent Year 8 and half of year 9 in a Welsh school where she got a place instantly. She didn't settle very well as friendship groups were already established and she didn't really fit in (we're talking small town Wales where everybody knows everybody and speaks Welsh etc) so she struggled. Midway through Year 9 she ended up refusing to go point blank. She had a meltdown one night and begged to go back to England saying she wouldn't go to school unless we moved. The family issues had settled down by this point and a month prior to DD's meltdown I'd put our house back on the council swap site wanting to move back to our old area but hadn't had any offers.

I wanted to move back to England before Year 10 started because of GCSE's beginning etc so got very anxious by the time May rolled round and we still hadn't got anyone wanting to swap from my hometown to Wales. My worries were rubbing off on DD so I bit the bullet and ended up private renting us a 2 bed flat in our old general area (but was a few miles away in a different local authority as couldn't afford to rent in home local LA ) as we were both very homesick and DD wanted to get back to her old school ASAP. This crippled us financially but was necessary as both needed to move back home. Once we'd settled into the flat I contacted DD's old school only to get told they were full and that we would be put on a waiting list but were warned we had no chance due to different LA and wrong postcode. We appealed and got rejected. By this point it was late July and all the schools were shut and I couldn't apply anywhere.

Year 10 started and I applied to the nearest school in my LA. Got told "We don't accept place in Year 10 unless the child is in care." Appealed, failed. Applied for 2 more in my LA and got told the same. Failed appeal for both. In appeal they all used the fact that DD refused to attend the Wales school as an excuse for not taking her. After being rejected by the 3 nearest schools in the LA I applied to 3 others which were still in the LA but right at the far end and all of them had the attiude of "Why on earth have you applied here when you live 11 miles away? It's too far." Even more frustrating is that after each school rejected us they'd say "Apply to so and so they'll probably have her" and I got the feeling they didn't believe me when I replied that we'd already been rejected by "so and so" and every other in the fucking area. Because all the appeals took so long(you get a date something like 2 months after appealing) soon enough it was nearing the end of Year 10! DD was extremely depressed. No friends or social life due to lack of school and worrying about her future. It was heartbreaking.

As Year 11 started I applied to each school again hoping they'd think "A year later and she's still not got a school place yet? We are now obliged to give her one." bur half the schools said no and the other half didn't bother getting back to me. DD was devastated. She told me "Mum, I just want to go to school and be normal. Why am I being treated like some kind of criminal? I've done nothing wrong." Wow, a teenager wants to go to school and get an education, how awful! I ended up in actual tears writing a letter to my LA and another begging them (literally begging) one of them to give my DD a place somewhere as her mental health was in dire straights. Of course they both said "If her menral health is in a bad place then focus on getting her into CAMHS rather than school for now."

So, here we are. End of Year 11. DD has no friends, no social life and no GCSE's. Luckily she got into college on a Childcare course (was only offered foundation level which is fair enough, it's not the college's fault) so I'm hoping she will begin to feel she has a purpose and make friends and her life will improve. But we are both still so so angry about how we were treated. Our area is well known for having good schools (people move round here from all over for the schools) and it being difficult to get a place after Year 7 but we applied to 6 bloody schools (2 of which were the worst schools in the area, we were desperate so weren't picky) and none of them gave a shit. Yet I've heard cases of scrotes getting thrown out for stabbing someone, they do a month in young offenders then get a place at a different school immedietely :(

It’s too late now but what my parents did eventually to get me into a school was request that I be sent to the local private school given there were no other schools available, plus a paid taxi to the school as there would be no bus from where we lived.

Suddenly a place at one of the other schools opened up and I started the next term.

My parents weren’t advised to do this but did so out of desperation and it worked so sometimes thinking outside the box is needed. I reckon I could have been sat home a lot longer if they didn’t try this.

Awful situation to find yourself and your daughter in, and I really feel for you. She will be able to do her gcse in English, maths and maybe science at college for free, at least in the SE in our area you can. She can then do either an apprenticeship or another college course. If she is academically gifted / interested, she could even do her A levels or BTEC in a subject that interests her, it’s never too late! She will make friends again at her new college, and will appreciate that it is completely different to school. Best of luck to you both for the future x

I can almost see how this situation could arise speaking as a teacher and parent.

In my LA most schools are full in year 10 and families moving to the area don’t seem to know until they apply then get pushed out further and further to the outskirts of the city where there are travel issues and sometimes no provision for the pupils’ needs (eg children with no English in year 10 and no EAL provision at the school.) In the meantime months have passed before they can actually start at a school.

Different situation from the op but I have dc with sen who have been out of school between them for a couple of years as suitable provision could not be found and the process for everything eg Home tuition seems to take so long.

I’ve said upthread, but this does happen

-local authorities do inform parents they close, or give set times to apply

-they do ignore contact

-they don’t always fulfil duties

I’ve seen it a fair few times. In our authority the number of teens in yr 10/11 neither in school nor home educated is unbelievable. Funnily enough there are significant gangs issues.

It’s not every authority, but the culture in some is awful and they’ve done it long term.

Also to posters asking about places before move. One authority I worked in would do this, you could ask schools and they could access the system. In another the authority deals with all applications and they won’t deal with you until you move. We have the issue of schools with places not filled and children without places, I have dealt with this personal from the school end. We can’t simply give a place in case the next day we are allocated a pupil or ten ahead of this one on the list. We end up frustrated too and are also chasing. Our authority make up rules and barriers too, like requiring a head teachers signature to process an in- year move just to give hurdles. In some cases they jut don’t act and parents hit a wall. I know of parents reporting themselves for leaving children unattended while they work to try to speed up school places.

Places have wild variation, and what’s unbelievable in some areas is common in others.

There are repeat case studies out there in some areas with cases of police or social services reporting children not in any kind of education (including home Ed) alongside safeguarding concerns and zero action being taken.

It may be outside your experience, but it’s happening. In academies on a significant scale in some places.

If people need more information check out the thread by the ‘aunt’ who is fostering her niece in a remarkably similar situation and asking for advice for post-16 options.

@ChequersDog could you link to that post please?

Was the aunt also abused, had to leave the city to avoid possible violence, Checkers? Or is she just having problems finding her niece a school?

It may not be the same, nobody can be a perfect parent when living under constant stress.