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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my daughter was denied a basic right (an education) and that we've been treated like shit?

182 replies

dobrovnikdreams · 12/06/2019 03:35

She spent Year 7 in a school in our home town where she was happy with friends. Towards the end of Year 7 due to unforseen circumstances (family related, won't get into it as irrelevant) we had to move to Wales and we did so through a council house swap through someone who wanted our city. She spent Year 8 and half of year 9 in a Welsh school where she got a place instantly. She didn't settle very well as friendship groups were already established and she didn't really fit in (we're talking small town Wales where everybody knows everybody and speaks Welsh etc) so she struggled. Midway through Year 9 she ended up refusing to go point blank. She had a meltdown one night and begged to go back to England saying she wouldn't go to school unless we moved. The family issues had settled down by this point and a month prior to DD's meltdown I'd put our house back on the council swap site wanting to move back to our old area but hadn't had any offers.

I wanted to move back to England before Year 10 started because of GCSE's beginning etc so got very anxious by the time May rolled round and we still hadn't got anyone wanting to swap from my hometown to Wales. My worries were rubbing off on DD so I bit the bullet and ended up private renting us a 2 bed flat in our old general area (but was a few miles away in a different local authority as couldn't afford to rent in home local LA ) as we were both very homesick and DD wanted to get back to her old school ASAP. This crippled us financially but was necessary as both needed to move back home. Once we'd settled into the flat I contacted DD's old school only to get told they were full and that we would be put on a waiting list but were warned we had no chance due to different LA and wrong postcode. We appealed and got rejected. By this point it was late July and all the schools were shut and I couldn't apply anywhere.

Year 10 started and I applied to the nearest school in my LA. Got told "We don't accept place in Year 10 unless the child is in care." Appealed, failed. Applied for 2 more in my LA and got told the same. Failed appeal for both. In appeal they all used the fact that DD refused to attend the Wales school as an excuse for not taking her. After being rejected by the 3 nearest schools in the LA I applied to 3 others which were still in the LA but right at the far end and all of them had the attiude of "Why on earth have you applied here when you live 11 miles away? It's too far." Even more frustrating is that after each school rejected us they'd say "Apply to so and so they'll probably have her" and I got the feeling they didn't believe me when I replied that we'd already been rejected by "so and so" and every other in the fucking area. Because all the appeals took so long(you get a date something like 2 months after appealing) soon enough it was nearing the end of Year 10! DD was extremely depressed. No friends or social life due to lack of school and worrying about her future. It was heartbreaking.

As Year 11 started I applied to each school again hoping they'd think "A year later and she's still not got a school place yet? We are now obliged to give her one." bur half the schools said no and the other half didn't bother getting back to me. DD was devastated. She told me "Mum, I just want to go to school and be normal. Why am I being treated like some kind of criminal? I've done nothing wrong." Wow, a teenager wants to go to school and get an education, how awful! I ended up in actual tears writing a letter to my LA and another begging them (literally begging) one of them to give my DD a place somewhere as her mental health was in dire straights. Of course they both said "If her menral health is in a bad place then focus on getting her into CAMHS rather than school for now."

So, here we are. End of Year 11. DD has no friends, no social life and no GCSE's. Luckily she got into college on a Childcare course (was only offered foundation level which is fair enough, it's not the college's fault) so I'm hoping she will begin to feel she has a purpose and make friends and her life will improve. But we are both still so so angry about how we were treated. Our area is well known for having good schools (people move round here from all over for the schools) and it being difficult to get a place after Year 7 but we applied to 6 bloody schools (2 of which were the worst schools in the area, we were desperate so weren't picky) and none of them gave a shit. Yet I've heard cases of scrotes getting thrown out for stabbing someone, they do a month in young offenders then get a place at a different school immedietely :(

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 12/06/2019 07:13

The only valid reason for rejecting her would be the school not having a space.

ASauvignonADay · 12/06/2019 07:13

Which LA op?

dobrovnikdreams · 12/06/2019 07:17

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Me and her dad did pay for maths and English tutoring but not for GCSE's because she decided herself she would rather do that at college. We didn't do much else as we literally couldn't afford it. We also wanted to pay for a few social groups etc so she could be around people her own age but it was very hard.

OP posts:
AspergersMum · 12/06/2019 07:17

I've personally heard of parents getting money for each month their LEA didn't find their child a school space. It is shocking that LEAs are continuing to let children down like this and are allowing schools to refuse children. It happens to autistic children all the time, often without the schools even bothering to meet the child.

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/06/2019 07:18

dobrovnikdreams

I do empathise with you but it does look like the area that you are in is heavily over-subscribed and the schools over pan.

dobrovnikdreams · 12/06/2019 07:18

Also she attended a free youth group but it'd hard to make friends with people you're seeing once a fornight.

OP posts:
Patchworksack · 12/06/2019 07:21

Why on earth would you apply to one school, wait for decision, wait for appeal.... You apply to the LA and they have a duty to find her a place in any school with spaces, and if it's not within 3 miles to provide transport for her. The LA doesn't shut over the summer! Once she is in education then you can go on waiting lists for your preferred option. She's missed out on two very important years at school and her GCSEs, and whilst it sounds like your LA has been unhelpful I don't understand why you were not camped out on their doorstep in the August before Yr 10 until they sorted it.

Thingsthatgo · 12/06/2019 07:22

Did you call the schools before you moved? I think I would have done a little research first.

dobrovnikdreams · 12/06/2019 07:25

Patchworksack We applied in 2 LA's. The one we didn't live in didn't do anything and the one we did live in actually said they do need to find us a place but that schools have the final say. Think because of academy status. It's all very confusing and I got conflicting claims and information.

OP posts:
WePutTheSpringinSpringfield · 12/06/2019 07:27

I don’t get it.

When the education officer came round and didn’t believe that she had been rejected from all the schools, did you not show them the evidence??

dobrovnikdreams · 12/06/2019 07:28

Schools would say "We are full but go to the LA. They are obliged to find her a place and will probably offer her one at ." The LA would say "We have to look for a place for you but schools have the final say." All the schools were full.

OP posts:
Figure8 · 12/06/2019 07:28

It is terrible, but I'm sorry, you made several assumptions.
Your child was out of education for two years.
I'm struggling to see how you could have moved without securing a place in school, and then it dragged on for two years?

Hmm
I'm not sure they are the unreasonable ones.
In any case, hindsight is a wonderful thing and I hope your daughter enjoys college.

ASauvignonADay · 12/06/2019 07:29

I've genuinely never known this happen. We're over pan but we still accept students into full year groups as do other local schools, if we physically can. There is also movement - kids moving out of the area or transferring due to behaviour issues etc. if a child isn't placed they go to a panel and a place is voted on.

LakieLady · 12/06/2019 07:30

Year 10 started and I applied to the nearest school in my LA. Got told "We don't accept place in Year 10 unless the child is in care." Appealed, failed.

This is just bonkers.

People have to move for all sorts of reasons: to escape DV, because their employer has moved the business, because they need to be near elderly relatives, to name but a few.

I can see it's far from ideal, but surely the LEA has a duty to provide an education? Try taking it up with your local councillor, OP.

I wonder if schools are acting unilaterally because they think that a child moving once they've started GCSE's is less likely to do well, so will spoil the school's results?

Sunlight82 · 12/06/2019 07:31

I’m sorry but I think you’ve let your daughter down very badly here. Why didn’t you contact the LEA as is the norm? All of these systems are detailed online and if they weren’t followed then I would have been raising merry Hell daily until it was sorted. I have no idea what you were doing contacting individual schools for 2 years and I suspect if we spoke to the schools and the council they would give a very different side of the story.

What did your daughter do for 2 whole years? Sit around the house doing nothing? No wonder her mental health is so poor. It costs nothing to get revision and workbooks from the library and try to keep her on top of her learning. You could even have contacted a local college about sitting exams as a private candidate.

I’m sorry but I just find it impossible to believe that this could happen without multiple failings on every side.

dobrovnikdreams · 12/06/2019 07:32

WePutTheSpringinSpringfield I tried but he always managed to insist there'd be a place somewhere. It was beyond frustrating.

I know I was silly thinking I could just swan back home and have DD get a place but I honestly thought she'd get in somewhere as it is obligatory. I kind of expected to be rejected by her Year 7 school as it's very good but never considered none of the others would have her.

OP posts:
ooooohbetty · 12/06/2019 07:35

Schools cannot refuse year ten pupils although they will try very hard to do so. Your LA should have directed the school to take her if there were no other schools available within a reasonable distance. Your LA had a statutory duty to offer a school place.

BlueSkiesLies · 12/06/2019 07:38

What advice did you seek whilst all this was going on?

It sounds very strange that someone who was happy to accept any school place at all, didn’t get a place for 2 years.

Sounds quite chaotic and I wonder if the schools/LEA would have a slightly different view of events.

Either way though, it’s terrible a place wasn’t found. People who keep their child off sick for a little too long get extremely harassed!

MrsMoastyToasty · 12/06/2019 07:39

Have you tried using the local government ombudsman ?

Haskell · 12/06/2019 07:39

Maybe your LA are crap? Ours compel us to take pupils if we have spaces (out LA is ridiculously overcrowded, every school is full, good and bad!)
We have taken five Y10s at the scrote end of the spectrum this academic year alone! (Spaces due to children moving abroad etc)

fairweathercyclist · 12/06/2019 07:41

OP I can't really make any sensible remarks as I don't understand the school admissions system well enough. But I think you've been treated badly by the LA, which has definitely failed in its duty to ensure your dd was educated - either in school or at home, eg they could have paid for an online school like InterhIgh or for GCSE tuition via Wolsey Hall. There are options but of course they cost more than a normal school place.

I think it's unfair for people to say you have to camp out on their doorstep. Not everyone is so tenacious and it sounds like you've had other things going on too.

But if she now has a college place I would move on. She will get the qualifications she needs, even if it's a bit late and maybe she can get a part time job too which can give her the money to perhaps do a couple of extra GCSEs along the way - look at Wolsey Hall as I mentioned above.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 12/06/2019 07:42

Your LEA would have had to offer her a place. I dont understand why they wouldnt. If your preferred option isnt available they have to offer you an alternative. I think they have failed but sorry you have also failed by not chasing it up enough.

dobrovnikdreams · 12/06/2019 07:42

Maybe I didn't fight hard enough, I could honestly kick myself but it does drive you mad when everybody is giving conflicting infromation and relevant parties (schools, E Officer and LA) aren't communicating with each other or you.

I absolutely would never have turned a place down though. That would have been unforgivable to my DD.

OP posts:
Hahaha88 · 12/06/2019 07:43

I'm sorry but I think this is on you more than the la. It seems like you just didn't do enough. For instance why apply to one school at a time and wait months for the appeal process before trying another? Why weren't you at your la education department every week minimum to get on at them to find her a place? I can't believe you just let her do nothing for two years!! I'd have insisted on a home tutor being provided if no school place by the la

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 12/06/2019 07:46

How the bloody he'll could you not provide her with an alternative education while this was going on?
She's been let down badly but not just by the LEA.Angry