To think my daughter was denied a basic right (an education) and that we've been treated like shit?

[dobrovnikdreams]

She spent Year 7 in a school in our home town where she was happy with friends. Towards the end of Year 7 due to unforseen circumstances (family related, won't get into it as irrelevant) we had to move to Wales and we did so through a council house swap through someone who wanted our city. She spent Year 8 and half of year 9 in a Welsh school where she got a place instantly. She didn't settle very well as friendship groups were already established and she didn't really fit in (we're talking small town Wales where everybody knows everybody and speaks Welsh etc) so she struggled. Midway through Year 9 she ended up refusing to go point blank. She had a meltdown one night and begged to go back to England saying she wouldn't go to school unless we moved. The family issues had settled down by this point and a month prior to DD's meltdown I'd put our house back on the council swap site wanting to move back to our old area but hadn't had any offers.

I wanted to move back to England before Year 10 started because of GCSE's beginning etc so got very anxious by the time May rolled round and we still hadn't got anyone wanting to swap from my hometown to Wales. My worries were rubbing off on DD so I bit the bullet and ended up private renting us a 2 bed flat in our old general area (but was a few miles away in a different local authority as couldn't afford to rent in home local LA ) as we were both very homesick and DD wanted to get back to her old school ASAP. This crippled us financially but was necessary as both needed to move back home. Once we'd settled into the flat I contacted DD's old school only to get told they were full and that we would be put on a waiting list but were warned we had no chance due to different LA and wrong postcode. We appealed and got rejected. By this point it was late July and all the schools were shut and I couldn't apply anywhere.

Year 10 started and I applied to the nearest school in my LA. Got told "We don't accept place in Year 10 unless the child is in care." Appealed, failed. Applied for 2 more in my LA and got told the same. Failed appeal for both. In appeal they all used the fact that DD refused to attend the Wales school as an excuse for not taking her. After being rejected by the 3 nearest schools in the LA I applied to 3 others which were still in the LA but right at the far end and all of them had the attiude of "Why on earth have you applied here when you live 11 miles away? It's too far." Even more frustrating is that after each school rejected us they'd say "Apply to so and so they'll probably have her" and I got the feeling they didn't believe me when I replied that we'd already been rejected by "so and so" and every other in the fucking area. Because all the appeals took so long(you get a date something like 2 months after appealing) soon enough it was nearing the end of Year 10! DD was extremely depressed. No friends or social life due to lack of school and worrying about her future. It was heartbreaking.

As Year 11 started I applied to each school again hoping they'd think "A year later and she's still not got a school place yet? We are now obliged to give her one." bur half the schools said no and the other half didn't bother getting back to me. DD was devastated. She told me "Mum, I just want to go to school and be normal. Why am I being treated like some kind of criminal? I've done nothing wrong." Wow, a teenager wants to go to school and get an education, how awful! I ended up in actual tears writing a letter to my LA and another begging them (literally begging) one of them to give my DD a place somewhere as her mental health was in dire straights. Of course they both said "If her menral health is in a bad place then focus on getting her into CAMHS rather than school for now."

So, here we are. End of Year 11. DD has no friends, no social life and no GCSE's. Luckily she got into college on a Childcare course (was only offered foundation level which is fair enough, it's not the college's fault) so I'm hoping she will begin to feel she has a purpose and make friends and her life will improve. But we are both still so so angry about how we were treated. Our area is well known for having good schools (people move round here from all over for the schools) and it being difficult to get a place after Year 7 but we applied to 6 bloody schools (2 of which were the worst schools in the area, we were desperate so weren't picky) and none of them gave a shit. Yet I've heard cases of scrotes getting thrown out for stabbing someone, they do a month in young offenders then get a place at a different school immedietely :(

@fairweathercyclist the thing is op should have been tenacious on this matter. Education is a vital thing, ops DD is now at a disadvantage both educationally and socially.

Something doesn’t quite add up..

Bloody hell. What a story. I'd have been on the phone to the LA every day. Surely they have to do something?

My understanding is that the LA have to find a place, even if the school is out of their LA they should send to the nearest school with a place. They don't have to go over PAN because someone wants a place, so a school saying they can only take in year 10 if a child is in care is probably true because schools are compelled to go over PAN if a child is looked after.

That said, you were given two opportunities to do secondary education but moved so I'm not sure you can argue people have denied her a chance at an education.

It sounds like the LA has been a bit shit and it would be interesting to see how schools have managed to justify refusing a place if they have places. Equally, you chose to move house during secondary school without doing appropriate research and getting a school place sorted. I'm not sure the responsibility here lies soley with the LA.

Would like to clarify that the Wales move wasn't a matter of us just wanting a change of scenery. A very serious matter did pop up and we had to go. Don't want to get into it as that's a whole other mess that have thankfully been resolved.

I see your point.

But honestly, you need to take some responsibility in all of this. You upped sticks and moved away as well as disrupting her education over something that blew over in weeks. 🙄

The whole problem started whwen you moved your dd to 'a school in a small town in Wales' where people spoke Welsh and friendship groups were established. You could have foreseen that. Tricky time to move.

You apply to the LA to get into a school - not by contacting the school. Can't believe the schools didn't tell you this?

And I also can't believe that you have done nothing for two years! Years dd is supposed to have taken her GCSEs in! Sorry, but I think you have seriously failed her.

At least now she is in education and can start to build friendship groups and move on.

What a mess! The move to Wales was ill judged I feel very sorry for your dd trailing around, how disruptive to her education . Not sure I believe that the lea have said they have no duty to find your dd a school. Is it just they have not got places in any of your preferred schools?

The LA you live in had a duty to get a place for her and should have sourced a place though their Fair Access Protocol if none of the schools/academies you were applying to could offer her a place. It isn't unusual for schools to be at or even over PAN by Year 10 and this is where the LA can direct a school to take the child even if they are an academy. I really don't understand why you didn't push the LA you were resident in to find her a place during Year 10.
The LA you applied to where you don't live had no duty to offer a place as you are not their resident. If any of the schools you applied to had vacancies they should have offered you a place regardless of her being year 10 but many academies do have a tendency to delay especially where children have been school refusers. It isn't fair or legal and this is why schools coming out of LA control is such a disaster.

Any money the Daily Mail picks this up...

Your poor daughter.

Did you ever apply centrally to the LA, write letters to the local press, speak to your MP (I had a friend who moved who got nowhere wrote to her MP and got a place within a week) that way you would not have needed to go through appeals

Also starting the home schooling process would have helped as there are groups and grants that you could have used

Because yes it sounds as if she has sadly slipped through the cracks and unfortunately the only person that can scream and shout abou tit is you

You poor daughter.

Did you not take legal advice on this over the last two years? Did you look at home education? Find home ed groups in your local area so your daughter could make friends? She may not have wanted to be home ed but essentially she was being.

Home educating doesn’t have to cost much at all. Lots of people here end up doing it without really wanting to (lack of school place, off rolling etc) but you just have to throw yourself into it, get out there and meet people through Fb etc. Many end up staying in home ed through choice even if they didn’t want to to begin with. It doesn’t have to be this expensive thing.

(I’ve never seen anything about grants for home ed though? Not in England anyway, we are very much left to it!)

There are a lot of kids in this area in this position, I wonder if you are near. It sounds unbelievable but our area has huge numbers long term not in school, mainly high functioning autism or anxiety cases that current school say can’t meet needs and no alternative. I know parents going to all sorts of fights over it. The main tactic of EWOs is to try and scare into home Ed with the threat of court (which would probably be a good option in reality if it happened as it would expose the lack of school place). I believe you and you’re not alone, there’s a significant silent number of yr 10 and 11s not in any educational placement out there, particularly in some cities.

A lot of people are picking up on the move to Wales but, in hindsight, it seems better to have been in Wales, in education with no friends, rather than in England with no access to state education for 2 years. That is an appalling state of affairs. I would make complaints to the LA and your MP, if nothing else to stop this happening to others.

Why didn’t you home educate when you kept getting turned down? You said that your daughter wanted to learn.

What did your daughter do for those 2 years? I’m disgusted at you just as much as the LA. Your poor daughter has been let down badly.

What were you and your daughter doing all this time while waiting for the schools to respond? Was she doing nothing constructive whatsoever? Were you at work all hours or were you the same? This is how people end up being home schooled but it seems you didn’t even do that

We moved in the summer holidays, applied and got a place in mid August - schools are not actually shut. If the school is full though they won't take you especially so far away, but the council processes the application if you can't find a school, did you go to them? I don't understand how you left it until even October half term, we simply demanded a place and I said I wasn't leaving the council schools admissions office until they had one for me!

Call them today and ask which school can accommodate your dd

I don't want to pile in on you, when you are obviously having a tough time at the moment, but can I just ask - why didn't you keep up with her studies, so even if she had got into another school, she wouldn't have been behind? That's just common sense isn't it? I know it's not what she wanted and it is hard work, but surely, as her parent, you don't just let her studies slide, especially as time moved on and appeals were taking 2 months at a time? What was she doing to fill her time? I also think you let your daughter down as well as the authorities.

Why did you move to Wales?

I do think this is relevant to the story.

Unless it really was totally unavoidable, then yes I do think you are the unreasonable one here.

Not in a million years would I do this, my dc's education would always come first, way above any 'family issues'.

What a nightmarish and awful situation for you but I am glad your dd now has a course to go on and some resolution in sight.

However I am afraid you lost me at this bit:
by the time May rolled round........ Once we'd settled into the flat I contacted DD's old school only to get told they were full and that we would be put on a waiting list but were warned we had no chance

Why on earth did you leave it until then, especially knowing that the schools in your old area were very popular? You should have been in contact with the schools way, way before then to put your case across. You are posting complaining about the LA’s duty of care/what you are entitled to/what you should be given as if it is everyone else’s fault. But I am afraid it isn’t.

Sorry but I’m on the lack of parental acceptance of responsibility and blame everyone else side.
Yes she’s entitled to a school place but you chose Wales. I assume there was some reason it had to be a small, closed community in Wales - although having moved numerous times I know full well children are children and integration is entirely possible. I suspect it wasn’t Wales or the school it was family tension that was the root cause of her inability to settle.
She was only there a few months and instead of addressing the problem or working on integration you upped and moved her back. That sounds like it was about your need not hers.
Then you don’t sort a place before the move. Ridiculous.
You choose old school rather than one you are in catchment for. You wait for appeals. You let her get more and more miserable and blame the schools.
You were doing things and home educating whilst you sat and waited? You might not be able to manage physics but you could give her support in a number of subjects so she at least had GCSE options- were you expecting her to catch up Year 10 when in year 11? How was that going to work?
I’m sorry you have let your daughter down for your own needs and preferences and not hers.
You simply didn’t fight hard enough or support her well enough.

What an awful situation OP. I think the best you can do now is move on and make sure she sits at least 5 GCSE’s along with her other course or she find her long term employment prospects tricky. But she has time to do them, and more. 5 GCSEs is enough to A levels later under these circs. Education is a lifelong thing, and she had time to find her way and do what she really wants to do.
My DM left school with very little ( pregnant with me!) and ended up with a degree as an adult which she took over 5 years while working and loved every second of it.