To tell this woman?

[lucymegan]

Today it is cold and wet here I've got a big coat on and am still cold and wet through.
This morning on the school run I saw this woman who I see everyday. She has two boys one aged 2 and the other is 1 years old. This morning she had the baby at the front of the double buggy with just pjs on. No coat no shoes or socks no rain cover literally just pjs and no vest underneath. The baby's clothes were stuck to him where they were so wet. He clearly wasn't well either with green not running down his face. I couldn't believe my eyes, where is people's common sense? She does this all the time. On the coldest days in winter that baby didn't have a blanket or train cover over him. What makes it worse is she is fast at getting about. Let's the two year old walk instead of putting him the buggy and getting places faster. It's bugged me all day and I wish I had said something.

Would you of said anything?

It sounds like her kids need some help, sounds really miserable.

I probably wouldnt say anything to her but may report her. I have extended family who do this and its neglect.

It sounds like she is struggling. Is it possible she is short on money for coats/shoes?

"Lets the 2 year old walk" sorry yabu on this point. If a child is able to walk a sensible distance (school catchments etc mean rarely more than a mile or so) it's much healthier for them than being sat inactive in a pram . Toddlers should be active!

If she has children st the school speak to them as they may already have concerns

So many typos 🙈 sorry hopefully you get my drift.

I get the whole getting the toddlers to walk if they can. But in the pissing down rain? Even when the babies getting soaked at the front of the buggy and your dawdling with a toddler with no urgency about to get the kid home in the warm and dry. I'm sorry but In that instance I'd of picked the toddler up, stuck him in the buggy and ran. The baby did not look well one bit you could tell in his eyes he was poorly.

It sounds like she is struggling. Is it possible she is short on money for coats/shoes?

I'm not sure about money. But she smokes so could afford coats and shoes if she wanted too. Can pick those things up at a boot sale/ charity shop for what a packet of fags cost.

Was just going to say the same as Nanny0gg
I can't believe she would be aware her dc is cold and wet. Money has nothing to do with it. Wrap them in an old curtain if you have too.
It's not up to you to save them though, but you can certainly do your bit by talking to the school and they can intervene and maybe get her the help they might need.

If she has children st the school speak to them as they may already have concerns

She has two older boys, probably years 3 & 5? They always have a coat on ect but it's just the two little ones I see more because her 2 year old is in my daughters pre school class.

I did wonder what the play leaders thought when they saw the soaking wet 1 year old. I hope they said something to her.

@Funnyfarmer exactly. You'd put anything over them. She had a coat on her herself but the baby was in pjs. You'd take the coat of your back and cover him surely... well that's what I would of done anyway.

I saw a woman going school last week, I was on my way home she was on her way there so possibly running a little late. It was absolutely chucking it down. The type that gets you soaked down to your underwear within minutes.
She had her dc (about 5/6 not a toddler) in her arms, wrapped up in her coat the best she could, whist running to school.
There could have been a thousand reasons why this child didn't have any rain clothing (wellies, raincoat, uberalla ect) but this woman (I'm presuming mother) did everything she could with the tools she had to keep this dc dry.
I just thought "now that's a woman" she actually really brightened up my day. She'll probably never know she brightened up my day. She probably didn't even think she did anything special. Not many mothers would have done the same though.

Inappropriate clothing for the weather conditions is child abuse. A wet cold, baby in only PJ's and no covers or pram cover is very inappropriate. Poor kids.

YANBU, it’s neglect. I remember walking to school with my then 3 year old DD in a pushchair (it was a 3 mile round trip so no, she wouldn’t walk...) who was well wrapped up but still complaining she was cold. I took my own coat off to cover her up, it’s what parents who care do.

This Mother is neglectful, poor children.

lucymegan i definitely would. Did it last year with my dd. We walked to a local museum. Was scorching when we left. She was wearing denim shorts and a vest top. I was wearing leggings and a white strapless top with no bra! I'd brought a jacket though. When we got out the heavens had opened up and it was throwing down. Of course I had to give dd my jacket so that left me walking in the rain soaked through with a while top no bra and cold nipples. . Twice I was stopped and offered a lift though!

I'm usually one for minding my own business and trying not to judge etc, but in this instance I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut.

I would have been gentle in my approach and tried not to make her feel I was getting at her (who knows what she may be going through) but my first concern would be getting the baby warm and dry.
I would have gone as far as taking off my own coat and offering it to keep him warm as I can't bear to see things like that.
At the very least, if I had the car, I would have offered them all a lift home.

Then again I wouldn't have had a car seat for the baby (only a toddler one) so that wouldn't have been an option sadly.

Mind your own business.

Having just completed my mandatory training on Child Neglect I can confirm that this would be a red flag. Bring it up with pre school teacher rather than the woman herself. They can then look at whether it is a cause for concern (it should be) and they will then report this information to the designated childprotection person. Sadly many children are bring neglected and most school staff should have mandatory training on this so they can spot the signs.

You wouldn't have been the only one who noticed. The staff at school who are trained in safeguarding would hopefully be onto her, you could mention it as the school office just in case.

You say he didn’t appear well. Could he have had a fever so she didn’t want to overdress him?
Pls be careful.

That's definitely neglect. I'm a teacher and it's plainly documented in all safeguarding training. I would call Social Services. If you can go via school (does she have DC there?), then they will know the procedure.

I usually do "mind my own business", but not when there is a helpless baby cold and soaking wet.
My priority would be getting them warm and dry.

Mind your own business is silly advice. If we all did that a lot more children would go unnoticed in terrible situations.

I would definitely bring it up with the school. Even if you didn't want to overheat the child, you don't have to let him get soaking wet.

For those telling me to mind my own business. I'm pretty sure that's the attitude of those who turn a blind eye to kids being neglected and then it's too late. I'm not a busy body and I don't take any notice of how people bring their kids up. But when this is a recurring thing it does make you question what other neglectful things these kids endure. It might be nothing and she might of been having a bad morning/running late. I'd rather be late than have my baby soaking wet in the cold. Who does that?

Btw I was a child who was left from a young age to walk in all shitty kinds of weather. 45 minutes walking in the pouring rain, inadequate clothing. Never had a coat. I wish someone had stuck their nose in.

I'd probably report concerns to the school. That goes beyond different standards of parenting and into neglect. I'm sure I've misjudged the weather before and the DC have got wet because they didn't have a coat but a sick child in PJs in the pouring rain and she's not even in a rush? A normal person would have put their own coat/jumper over the baby chucked the toddler into the buggy and run to school and back. It sounds like she's oblivious to their physical needs.