To tell this woman?

[lucymegan]

Today it is cold and wet here I've got a big coat on and am still cold and wet through.
This morning on the school run I saw this woman who I see everyday. She has two boys one aged 2 and the other is 1 years old. This morning she had the baby at the front of the double buggy with just pjs on. No coat no shoes or socks no rain cover literally just pjs and no vest underneath. The baby's clothes were stuck to him where they were so wet. He clearly wasn't well either with green not running down his face. I couldn't believe my eyes, where is people's common sense? She does this all the time. On the coldest days in winter that baby didn't have a blanket or train cover over him. What makes it worse is she is fast at getting about. Let's the two year old walk instead of putting him the buggy and getting places faster. It's bugged me all day and I wish I had said something.

Would you of said anything?

I would have felt awful seeing that too. I think I would have said something, maybe asked if the baby was ok?

@Nannyred why are you so bloody rude?.
'Mind you own business' is horrible advice. That poor baby. Please speak to school.. If we all kept our noses out then the world would be a poorer place. Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility.

The thing is no matter how shitty we may be feeling ourselves, it is mother's instinct to keep the baby warm and dry.
She may be suffering from depression (I've been there) but she clearly needs help if she is in the frame of mind where she doesn't care or think about the baby getting cold and wet.
I think/ hope most people who witnessed this would say something or make someone aware of it.

You say he didn’t appear well. Could he have had a fever so she didn’t want to overdress him?

He could have. But then surely bringing him out like that would make him worse?

If she didn't have a rain cover she could of put him on the back chair with both hoods up and put a towel, Blanket or water over the covers so he was dry a bit at least. Nope he was at the front exposed with the rain full force in his face ☹️

Whatever* bloody phone. Sorry I have a cracked screen 🙄 can't see what I'm typing lol

Over the hoods 🙈

Sounds like neglect to me and there’s no excuse for it. I think we’ve all been caught in a unexpected shower and had to make a run for it, but it doesn’t sound like that’s what’s happened here.
I would report it.

Nanny is nasty on most threads I notice them on. “Minding your own business” in scenarios like this is how child abusers are able to end up eventually killing their victim ; not for a minute saying this is the case here but clearly the mother/baby need some sort of additional help and support. YANBU OP.

@GwenCooper81. It’s not cold! I’m not rude, I’m a realist. I really hope someone pokes their nose into your business! Wet has never killed anyone.

Is there anyone at the pre school you could have a quiet word with.
There are usually posters in schools/ nurseries stating that safeguarding is everyone's responsibility.
They won't think you are poking your nose in.
You are just concerned for the child's well being (and the mother too) as anyone would be.

Say something. By all means be prepared to be told to 'Fuck off' but I don't think yabu.

Wet has never killed anyone.

God what a nasty attitude. Of course the baby won't die by being wet but they'll be very uncomfortable and probably stay ill for longer or get worse. In the first world are standards for parenting are higher than "not killing them". Someone who regularly doesn't dress their baby properly for the weather conditions that suggests they're struggling with the basics of looking after their child. That means they need support and intervention for the benefit of their children.

@christmasArmadillo. I’m a singular person, not plural. I’m “nasty on most threads” you’ve seen me (singular) on. God forbid a poorly child isn’t wrapped in blankets, coats and other layers!
Sorry love, but I laugh at most of the threads you see me on “Aibu for trying to think for myself” or “Aibu for wanting to protect my child/husband/home”

@NannyRed

Your sense for getting your priorities wrong is positively spectacular.

you can certainly do your bit by talking to the school

Why on earth do people want to involve school in everything, the same people then complain about standards of learning in school? This isn't a school issue, they have enough extraneous stuff to deal with within school.

fortunately most people give a fuck about their kids and actually care if they are uncomfortable. Can only assume people with that attitude are just defensive because of the woeful job they did raising their own kids.

@NannyRed, says a lot about you that you think a few grammar mistakes are more important than a baby being neglected.

If it's a safeguarding issue and a child is being neglected then yes, the school will take it seriously.
They have posters stating that "safeguarding is everyone's responsibility" and encouraging people to speak up if they are concerned about a child.

Wet has never killed anyone.

Being wet and cold definitely can kill. My grandmother's sister died of hypothermia being out in soaking clothes.

@NannyRed I bet you wouldn't be happy to slowly wander to school in your PJs in the pouring rain when you had a stinking cold so you shouldn't force a young baby (with a less mature immune system) to do it. If you can't do the very basics of caring for your child's physical needs you need SS involvement.

I think flagging with the school might be the best next step. Failing that, perhaps an off-the cuff comment is a good way to start "ooh dear your baby is soaking wet, dont you have a blanket/cover?"

@Nannyred. They can stick their nose in all they want. The day I leave a baby sat wet through and in the pouring pain in just pj's is the day I know I need help (and not mentioning the poor poor child).
Are you an actual nanny? Someone paid to look after children. God forbid.
You are rude. It's been noticed and commented on before by various people.
It is cold. Well, it is here. Being wet though, even a small chill in the air will be unpleasant. Not to mention the lack of proper clothes and the lack of hurrying by the mum. It points toward a bigger problem.
' Cold never killed anyone'.. High standard for parenting. Refer again to my question about you being an actual Nanny.
Please phone school OP.

The baby mention to the school. Yes they are busy etc, but they will have the parents details to pass onto SS. They may already have a file about the family from concerned teachers/parents.

The toddler not so much. Mine all hated going in the buggy once they found their feet, and after getting kicked in the face a couple of times and people asking if I was ok because of injuries, I gave up the battle.

As for 'mind your own business' have some people really not learned anything from the high profile cases? What the outcome would have been if people actually spoke out instead of ignoring it?

There may be an innocent explanation. My eldest would always strip off clothes, shoes etc. Always inappropriately dressed, had referrals etc to ss. But I would rather they check with myself and nursery/school than it being ignored. He's 25 now and still walks around with a tshirt and shorts in the snow.

Dearest OP,

Please ignore those saying mind your own business.
Neglect is child abuse.
Speak to the school or phone social services/NSPCC.
A child being abused is your business.

Thank you.

I mean you say you see her a lot is this a one off ? do you know where she lives if she has 4 children including a toddler walking maybe she left the house way before you did and it wasn't raining then ? Once she was on her way probably not a huge amount she could of done but agree she should of used her coat try try and help the baby. How do you know the baby had no vest ECT on ? I'm guessing you saw them in passing. If she generally got caught out as a one time thing I think saying it's neglect is a bit strong. If it's all the time absolutely flag with school.