To think men shouldn’t come to a breastfeeding support group?

[Sexnotgender]

It’s a group SOLELY for breastfeeding support.

I know I’m probably being a grump but a man there totally changes the dynamic.

Baby was 5 months old so not a newborn with an overwhelmed mum which I would kind of understand.

Dons tin hat...

The "accommodating options" were not available to me in my local area.

What would you like to suggest I should have done!

? *

Someone had said I should be excluded because I need my male carer's support. Someone has said that other women "win" over my needs.

Goodness, you’re really good at twisting what people say, in order to fit your agenda, aren’t you. People don’t want you excluded, they want your male carer excluded, because or their own personal reasons that has absolutely nothing to do with your disability. You need to speak to your health care provider about your needs and stop trying to guilt trip women.

Always on these types of threads there are some women who say women should get over being half naked in front of men. Always.

In real life plenty of women are not happy to be half naked in front of strange men.
Some men are perverts and fetishists.
Some women for religious reasons are not allowed to be half naked in front of strange men.

You've categorically said that a white British atheist wins over a member of an ethnic minority group who can't breastfeed if there are men present. Cool

Eh? Where have I mentioned colour of skin, religion or race?

And all those saying they could not have breastfed if there male partner could not attend a breastfeeding support group have ignored the person who said they stopped breastfeeding because they could not get any support in a single sex situation.

Always on these types of threads there are some women who say women should get over being half naked in front of men. Always.

yes, that's exactly what women who prefer or need the support of their partners are saying, exactly that. That others should get half naked in front of them.

Dh came with me - I'd had a csection and couldn't carry twins into the venue etc. He was there to support me. Because of his support I was able to breast feed my premature twins for 6 months. He made sure he was careful where he positioned himself but honestly, without him coming with me I wouldn't have gone and my babies would have been formula fed.

onthisoccasion, I said men can fuck off, in response to the question about men’s feelings about being refused entry to a breast feeding group. I stand by that. I don’t mean men can fuck of when it comes to being fathers, but their feeling should NEVER over rude the woman’s rights to feeling comfortable in a female friendly group.

Morondela Have you missed all the women saying they had to get half naked when being taught how to get breastfeeding right?

Oh Lord. This is one of those threads very few people will agree on. I have a fantastic husband that has done everything he could to help. He would have jumped at the chance to attend any support group, in the hope of supporting me. However he is also the kind of guy who would appreciate other women’s privacy and would hate for them to feel uncomfortable in his presence. Separate sessions for fathers definitely seems the way forward.

Over ride

A breastfeeding support group is for people that are (or are attempting) to breastfeed.

I wouldn't go to an... Impotence support group either. Not even to support my husband. if my husband had that particular problem.

On balance, I think some mothers’ desire for privacy, fear of being exposed in front of men and/or religious belief outweighs the needs and desires of other mothers who need or would like a male partner to be present for support or assistance.

Highlights the lack of bfeeding support services.

He made sure he was careful where he positioned himself

So he didn’t plonk himself right in the middle of the group then?

Honestly didn’t think I’d start quite such a bunfight🙈

I'm quite surprised that everyone is saying no - I thought it was the norm for partners to be welcome. I've been to two different groups in two different areas of the country and there have often been male partners (including mine) there. And the one in my previous area was just in an area of the hall where the baby weighing happened, so no privacy at all. I found that intimidating initially and would have preferred somewhere private.

Firstly, I never had any qualms about breastfeeding infront of anyone. So it is not about being uncomfortable about people seeing my breasts. Although, often I would sit totally topless so the consultant could really help me. That is not the same as BF under a shirt in a public space.

But If you are going to a support group, it is often because things aren't going well. In addition to exposing your breasts, there are the emotional issues. The feelings of failure, the fear that you are doing it wrong. It can be a very raw experience and to share that with people who aren't there for the same reason seems unnecessarily cruel.

I spent most of my BF support group sessions in tears and being able to have a safe, private space with people who understood made it much easier.

If someone needs additional help from a carer, then that needs to be accommodated but not at the expense of the other mothers and babies who are often struggling.

My understanding is that support groups are designed for women who are finding difficulty breastfeeding. They're not a social group.

I get the feeling some of us are talking at cross-purposes here.

If someone needs additional help from a carer, then that needs to be accommodated but not at the expense of the other mothers and babies who are often struggling.

You could put that round the other way though and there are more likely to be breastfeeding mothers with disabilities than those who can't be around men for whatever reason.

I really think TheDefector is getting a shit time here she's disabled and trying to get her point across but she's being accused of racism instead?

My understanding is that support groups are designed for women who are finding difficulty breastfeeding. They're not a social group.

Ours is a little of both.

bluechameleon

Really? I guess I will get to find out (knock on wood / based on how thing are going).

But I don't think I would feel comfortable with 'partners being welcome'.

There are no men in my pregnancy yoga class either... And the vast majority of women there are pregnant. Which I find a huge relieve. I currently don't like my body.

And I'm glad that the people there at least know what I'm going through (even if they may have different feelings / opinions). It makes me feel much more comfortable and safer. 😔 There's also a sense of comradery (it's not a huge yoga class).

You could put that round the other way though and there are more likely to be breastfeeding mothers with disabilities than those who can't be around men for whatever reason.

That’s very unlikely.

OrchidInTheSun the one I attended (that there are many of all over our county) specifically describes itself as both. It's where a large chunk of the funding for BF support is focused.