Friend giving me a lift aibu?

[tinnyi]

I can drive but at the moment I haven't got a car.
My friend passed her test 7 months ago and started inviting me for tea and she was very enthusiastic about driving.
3 times we've gone to a friends house (she's drove,20 mins each way ) I've have her £10 petrol money each time.
Last week she invited me for tea,she drove to mine.
I said leave the car and we will walk into town and she said no I don't mind driving.
Sunday we are going away for the weekend and she wanted to stay at mine the night before ,then drive us to train station next day,so she didn't have to rush over the morning or going away.
I said of course but my boyfriend will be here but the spare room will be made up with new sheets etc.
She said no I won't stay if your boyfriend is here,tell him not to come over or you will have to get to the coach station on your own (45 min drive )
I said I didn't want to do that.
Then she started throwing in my face the fact she's drove us places lately.
Just because I don't have a car doesn't mean I don't do her favours.
I will go to town for her if she needs things,I walked to kfc to get her food.
I've lent her over £300 8 months ago and she hasn't paid a penny.
Got her a new outfit for her birthday night out.
Here she is having the cheek to say to me "I'm not a taxi"
I never think she is,she takes me somewhere once in a blue moon and always for tea or friends (where she's going )
Aibu here ?

She sounds like a crap person

Don’t go this weekend. It doesn’t sound like she’s a good person or that you’ll have a good time with her. And I imagine she’ll end up having you pay for more days/ meals out.

I’d ask for my £300 back and then wind down this friendship. She’s been taking you for a ride.

I wouldn’t go. Wrote the weekend and the 300 off and cut ties. Have nothing to do with her. You will only end up paying for lunch, dinner, drinks. Another new outfit?

She's a bully

Had a little cry this morning.
She posted about the weekend on Facebook tagging the other girl going and not me.
I know that means nothing at all but it's just another kick in the teeth for me.
I just feel like a crappy person and just wondering why she doesn't like me.
She doesn't treat any other friends like this

God what a passive aggressive thundercunt!

If I was you I couldn’t be dragged on that weekend!

I don’t think you’ll get your money back but I would 100% send a message asking for it.

Then I’d wait until the last second before informing her I wasn’t coming to London. That won’t give her enough time to kick off with you.

Message her publicly about the cash she owes you. Can you sell your space to another friend?

She clearly does treat other people badly judging by your list above. Just respect your own value and boundaries and stop her taking advantage now you know she is. Good luck.

But she clearly does treat other friends like this, look at that list you made a few posts back!

Be kind to yourself, write off the £300 because you won't ever get it back anyway, and dump this toxic user. At the very least she'll no longer be able to guilt you into throwing more of your money at her.

this User is NOT your friend.... Write off the £300 and Cut her off .. then end

Oh I couldn’t be fucking bothered. She doesn’t do you any favours. Time to move on, she’s no friend.

OP you sound like a lovely person who is being used. Your worth so much more than this. I’d be surprised if you ever get the money back, as others have said move on without her in your life

OP sack this person off, get rid of them on social media and don't arrange to meet up with them anymore. You deserve better

What's the plan for the weekend? Are you sharing a room? If not, could you go anyway and just keep out of her way, do your own thing?

Please grow up, an adult crying over social media is ridiculous. Get rid of the woman, come off Facebook and regain your self-respect.

She’s clearly bad for you and many of her other ‘friends’. Friends don’t sleep with their friends husbands, use them to borrow money off that they never pay back, make them cry or any other combination of the shorty behaviour you’ve described up thread. Ask her for the money she owes you and then repeat every time she contacts you. If she asks you out for dinner, say no, can’t afford it, when are you paying me back? If she asks you if you want a lift somewhere... same line... can’t afford it, when are you paying me back? As for the weekend, ask her now for the money now and tell her that you’ll not be covering her for any expenses as she still owes you 300. Go enjoy yourself and forget about her or any of her antics.

It would be interesting to know your age. I would never charge someone for a ride. Have never even thought about it and would never think to pay someone for a ride. I regularly pick up my colleague on the way to work and drop off home on the way- would never dream of expecting something in return. I'm only in my 30's but Is this something the new generation are doing? Or have I missed a fab trick your friend has devised for making you feel obliged for doing something she was offering anyway? 🤔

Oh OP I’m sorry you’re in this position

Re the £300 I have to agree you’ve been a bit of a pushover in giving her money again and again for lifts when she already owes you. I’d be at most saying she can take £5 off the £300 each time she gives you a lift.

I’m not surprised she insists you give her lifts when you pay her of the odds in petrol!

I also don’t think you should give her your bed. If she’s staying over to make things easier in the morning then being a third wheel is a irrelevant.

Is there anything you can do about the trip without being out of pocket?

I’m afraid you might not see your £300

What does she say when you give her money for petrol after she’s insisted on giving you a lift? Does she have the sense and good grace to refuse to take it as she’s your friend, you do things for her and she already owes you money??

A lot going on.
You are not unreasonable at all. Your friend (and I use the word loosely here) is not a taxi ( most taxi drivers have more manners) You are not your friends atm .
You need an arrangement for it to be paid back ..
From what you say , you seem to have been more than kind , you just have to get your money back and then rethink your friend ship .
Good wishes with it all.

Tell her you know she isn’t a taxi, but you are not a bank either.

OP - and I genuinely mean this in the nicest possible way - you need to give your head a stern wobble.

If everything you are saying is true, then her behaviour and treatment of you is appalling.

Rather than feeling upset at her Facebook post, you should be absolutely raging. How dare she.

Comment on her post with “I hope (friend) realises she’ll be subsidising you during the whole trip. Just like the £300 I loaned to you which you haven’t yet paid back. Have a great time” - then delete her from your Facebook and block her number. You don’t need her OP, please have some dignity and realise your self worth

Cut your losses and cut her loose. She sounds awful.

OP, please have some dignity and realise your self worth

I agree with this to a degree but I don’t think posting on Facebook as you’ve suggested I’d particularly dignified and may just reflect badly on OP. I assume the friend could just remove the comment.

What secret millionaire said.
Even if she was a decent friend aside from the money situation but she’s not. You’re her doormat and she’s walking all over you.
Why do you continue to take this .

You’re value is more than this so see the £300 as the price to pay for your dignity