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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend giving me a lift aibu?

138 replies

tinnyi · 09/06/2019 22:23

I can drive but at the moment I haven't got a car.
My friend passed her test 7 months ago and started inviting me for tea and she was very enthusiastic about driving.
3 times we've gone to a friends house (she's drove,20 mins each way ) I've have her £10 petrol money each time.
Last week she invited me for tea,she drove to mine.
I said leave the car and we will walk into town and she said no I don't mind driving.
Sunday we are going away for the weekend and she wanted to stay at mine the night before ,then drive us to train station next day,so she didn't have to rush over the morning or going away.
I said of course but my boyfriend will be here but the spare room will be made up with new sheets etc.
She said no I won't stay if your boyfriend is here,tell him not to come over or you will have to get to the coach station on your own (45 min drive )
I said I didn't want to do that.
Then she started throwing in my face the fact she's drove us places lately.
Just because I don't have a car doesn't mean I don't do her favours.
I will go to town for her if she needs things,I walked to kfc to get her food.
I've lent her over £300 8 months ago and she hasn't paid a penny.
Got her a new outfit for her birthday night out.
Here she is having the cheek to say to me "I'm not a taxi"
I never think she is,she takes me somewhere once in a blue moon and always for tea or friends (where she's going )
Aibu here ?

OP posts:
Schnitzelvonkrumb · 10/06/2019 09:33

Wow she is taking the mickey. Even if a 20 min journey is £10 in a taxi she is cheeky for accepting it every time just for petrol. I sometimes lift share with my friends and either we give £5 or just pay back with a lift another time. I would say if you're having her to stay to make it easier/more convenient for her that pays for a lift. Several not very good friends of mine who dont drive seem to think my car was free and came with a lifetimes supply of fuel and don't even consider offering petrol money.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 10/06/2019 09:37

OP ....i would write off the 300 quid and call it a day with her..she really isnt a friend in any sense of the word...300 quid would be cheap to get out of this friendship....she sounds horrible,you don;t need this you really dont.

Drum2018 · 10/06/2019 09:37

You are a complete mug! Stop paying her so much for a lift. She can insist she will collect you all she wants but you don't have to go with her. I bet if you said you'd take a lift but won't be paying, she'd soon stop offering. As for giving her your bed - cop on! Your bed is yours. Your guest bed is for her or anyone else who comes to stay.

Hellbentwellwent · 10/06/2019 09:42

How much did you spend on her outfit op??

LightDrizzle · 10/06/2019 09:46

She’s not your friend. If she is, she’ll still want to see you when you stop giving her money and acting as her zero interest lender.
I can’t believe you give up your bed for her!
Do you have other friends?

sansou · 10/06/2019 10:02

You don’t need her to invite you out for tea. You need her to pay you back the £300 she owes you.

Step away from this CF!

blushmelikeyou · 10/06/2019 10:23

I would make your own way to the station and enjoy your few days away. When you get back ask for the £300 back and then back off from this friendship. She doesn't deserve you as a friend.

Sparklesocks · 10/06/2019 10:26

It’s just getting worse OP, you need friends who treat you with respect - not ones who see ££££ when they look at you.
Get the money back and get the sponge out of your life.

Ghostontoast · 10/06/2019 10:31

Get your money back (I doubt whether this CF will ever pay you back) and meet up with your other friend without involving CF at all.

gamerchick · 10/06/2019 10:32

It doesn't matter what's gone on. Now she's used the car lift thing as a threat it's game over.

Tell her you want your money back and say absolutely not to any more lifts. No more favours until she's back on the beam. Just start saying no.

woollyheart · 10/06/2019 10:33

It's strange that she said 'I am not a taxi' to you. Because that is exactly how she is behaving - a taxi drives you somewhere and expects to get paid for it.

ChorleyFMcominginyourears · 10/06/2019 10:42

Threads like this almost make me glad I dont have any friends! Jesus christ op shes a CF!!

Original poster
tinnyi · 10/06/2019 10:51

The £300 was for a trip we did a couple of months ago.
I paid it and she was meant to be in instalments but she paid one £10 and that was that.
She keeps mentioning it saying soon as she can afford it she will pay.
Yet she's out shopping buying trainers etc and going out but can't pay me back.
After this trip I'm not arranging anything.
I will be civil but I won't be making arrangements
I have other friends,one girl used to be her friend too but can't stand her now.

OP posts:
H2OH20Everywhere · 10/06/2019 10:52

I wonder if the reason she doesn't want your BF there isn't the fact that she'd be a third wheel but because she'd be in the spare room. She seems to want control over you and it's not healthy.

If you want to continue with the friendship you need to push back. If she offers you a lift tell her it's ok, she's not a taxi, and you'll meet her there. If nec, go somewhere else first so you won't be at home anyway.

If she's going to stay put her in your spare room - you haven't washed the sheets since the last time your BF stayed over so they're yucky. Lie if you have to but do not give her your bed.

Personally I'd get rid, though.

H2OH20Everywhere · 10/06/2019 10:53

As you're going on this weekend don't pay for anything. And if you go out for dinner or something just take cash with very little spare. Don't be railroaded into paying for anything for her.

NCforthis2019 · 10/06/2019 10:56

ask for you money back and find alternative transport. shes not your friend OP.

forumdonkey · 10/06/2019 11:01

She's a CF. Did she think being the spare wheel meant she was sharing the bed with you and your BF?! 🤣

I agree with a PP, tell her you're not a taxi and I'm not a bank

fedup21 · 10/06/2019 11:04

Why does she sleep in your bed??

AnathemaPulsifer · 10/06/2019 11:06

If you insist on paying her crazy high amounts for driving you places, at least knock it off her tab so you pay yourself back instead of giving her more money!

woollyheart · 10/06/2019 11:15

Agree with @AnathemaPulsifer

Why are you paying her petrol money when she owes you money for a trip!

She is hoping you forget the £300 while she continues to milk you for cash.

Stop taking lifts and demand the money back. Stop paying for her.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 10/06/2019 15:13

She's out buying trainers and still has a debt of £300 to you?

Remind her that she owes you £300. You'll be delighted to take 6 x £50 amounts or 3x£100. She can pay you your first installment when you get to London (and not under the guise of paying for dinner or such, you get your money back).
If she can 'afford' to buy trainers, she can pay you back.

Best of luck with it OP.

elessar · 10/06/2019 16:34

I mean this whole thing is a world of issues.

Did she specify the amount of petrol money to give or was this your idea?

To the person who said it costs 45p a mile - not unless you're driving round in some kind of huge gas guzzler it doesn't. Yes if you count costs of running including wear and tear but that shouldn't be factored in because she would be paying that anyway for her own convenience. My car (an average 1.4l hatch back) does about 100 miles for £10. I'd hazard that a 20 minute journey is not more than 10 miles, so 20 for a round trip - cost about £2. Half that if you split the costs 50/50!

I can't believe you're paying her anything when she owes you £300 anyway - and as for letting her sleep in your bed...!

You need to put your foot down now, and for god's sake get your money back.Threaten small claims court if needs be - do you have anything written (text or email) confirming the amount owed?

CoraPirbright · 10/06/2019 16:50

one girl used to be her friend too but can't stand her now

What happened? Did this other friend wake up to the fact that this girl is a manipulative user?!

Original poster
tinnyi · 11/06/2019 07:26

She's fallen out with lots of friends
1.she had a affair with her husband
2.she took a man back to her friends house and slept with him in her friends bed
3.just being bitchy behind her back
She's full of hate.
I'm not sure I'm going this weekend now.
I really don't want to go.

OP posts:
fedup21 · 11/06/2019 07:28

Why do you let her sleep in your own bed?

Why are you giving money for petrol, rather than repeatedly reminding her she owes you £300!

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