DSS and puppy.

[Itactuallyneverends]

DH and I after a period of grief have decided to get a puppy. Great. Told DSS he is beyond excited. Great. DSS told his mum, she wasn't happy. She thought she should have been consulted. Doesn't want DSS to ever be left alone with dog due to breed. Is insisting on contacting the breeder to find out more about nature etc. Demanding we get DSS allergy tested. I have dealt with the breeder they send me pictures, which I send to DSS. I got a message from her saying I wasn't to contact DSS, it's not my place. Only DSS's dad is to contact him. AIBU that this isn't really anything to do with her and that she should just leave us alone to get excited about our new family member ?!

What breed is the dog? How old is DSS?

How old is DSS? If he's under 10 I can see her reasoning for not wanting him left with the puppy but at the same time it's down to you and his dad when he's in your care to look after him

I can understand why she feels that way tbh, I think I’d feel the same, that’s not to it’s resonable though

DSS is a teen and puppy is a Staffordshire Bull Terrier.

If he is a small child I can understand her concerns. Not everyone is a dog person and many of us are a little uncomfortable around dogs. It may be rare but they do sometimes harm and even kill small children.

If he's older then she's being overprotective!

I wouldn't leave my son alone with any breed of dog, she is NBU.

She is being ridiculous. Ignore her and enjoy your puppy. And you have every right to contact your dss.

Tricky one. Maybe sending pictures of a puppy to him while she is against it could be taken by her to be you getting him so excited she'll seem like the bad guy for saying no.

I can understand your view, your house your rules but I also can completely understand her not wanting him exposed to a dog she doesn't know anything about. It's her son and it is her business to feel he's in a safe environment.

What breed is it? How old is your DSS?

It sounds like she's trying to make sure he's safe, and so maybe if DH can reassure her what measures you've taken to ensure safety that might help?

Sorry just saw he's a teen... think she's being a bit over protective but her is her son. Also depends if he has any disabilities or health conditions etc.

I would be uncomfortable around a staffy.

But he's a teenager so she can't protect him from dogs he might meet. What if his friend had one? Her wisest move would be to warn him and share her concerns then let him manage it himself!

Doesn't matter how old he is. Doesn't matter what breed he is. She can ask questions and pass her concerns to your DH but she gets no say in what happens in your house. Don't give her any information you're not comfortable with her having and don't allow her to have any power over your household.

@Banhaha how can she say no? It's our decision and nothing to do with her really.

She is totally batshit and ywnbu to ignore her.
Bet she is just worried dss will now prefer your home....

He's a teen, so I wouldn't have concerns around him being in the house with the dog. I would have about him walking the dog and possibly doing so with friends, not because of the breed in itself but I used to work with young people in gangs and leaving gangs and Staffies (and certain other breeds) were seen as a status dog and they'd be used to intimidate people, so I'd be concerned it's attract the attention of the wrong people when in the hands of a teenage boy. If you live in the arse end of nowhere with only cows for company obviously this wouldn't be an issue.

While dss is under his dad's roof, its his dad's rules. She's free to ask about the dog, but she cannot ban the dog or make all those demands esp allergy testing??

I have a staffy cross, wonderful dogs, very happy, loving and playful (okay boisterous at times!). Interestingly in the olden days before the media circus demonised them, they were known as the Nanny dog, because they were so good with young children.

Maybe sending pictures of a puppy to him while she is against it could be taken by her to be you getting him so excited she'll seem like the bad guy for saying no.

She has precisely 0 say over whether OP and her DH get a puppy or not.

Ignore her OP and enjoy your new puppy!

We live overseas so the breed doesn't have the same stigma here.

I did wonder if she's kicking up a stink because it would make DSS keener to stay with us.

Let her crack on. She's digging her own hole. You stay calm with a cute puppy let her work herself up and look like a moron to him.

It's not the best dog breed. I know many will say different, but there are stacks of better choices.

@Gth1234 out of curiosity what would you recommend?

Bet she is just worried dss will now prefer your home

The dog is of a breed known to ‘lash out’ and a parent is demanding some basic safety measures have been put in place. But yeah, it’s all about the OP

She can demand all she wants. It's not her house.

This type of dog doesn’t share attention very well and even as puppies can cause a lot of damage - a friend had a chunk bitten out of her leg when she was 14 as the staff thought she was playing!

I think you need to think harder about a suitable breed to be your DSS’ first dog.