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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSS and puppy.

125 replies

Itactuallyneverends · 08/06/2019 22:41

DH and I after a period of grief have decided to get a puppy. Great. Told DSS he is beyond excited. Great. DSS told his mum, she wasn't happy. She thought she should have been consulted. Doesn't want DSS to ever be left alone with dog due to breed. Is insisting on contacting the breeder to find out more about nature etc. Demanding we get DSS allergy tested. I have dealt with the breeder they send me pictures, which I send to DSS. I got a message from her saying I wasn't to contact DSS, it's not my place. Only DSS's dad is to contact him. AIBU that this isn't really anything to do with her and that she should just leave us alone to get excited about our new family member ?!

OP posts:
cheeseislife8 · 09/06/2019 00:28

If she wants him allergy testing, surely that's for her to organise. I'm sure at least one of his friends have dogs though, when he's been round?

Teddybear45 · 09/06/2019 00:29

Nope as the boy’s dad is getting him a dog it’s for him to organise allergy testing.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 09/06/2019 00:30

Nope if the father doesn't have any concerns of an allergy he doesn't have to organise anything.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 09/06/2019 00:33

As a staffie owner for 14 years, they are not prone to lashing out. If anything they are one of the most patient and tolerant breeds around humans.

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/06/2019 00:47

Staffordshire bull terriers are known as the nanny dog.

They have a sweet nature.

Had a staffy Alsatian cross who was the most friendly dog in the world.

Never known her to ever lash out ever.

Once met a puppy in the park who was on his first walk ever and was terrified.

Ddog was so lovely with the little pup that within a few minutes they were playing together. Ddog was so gentle and careful not to bounce around too close to the pup.

Firm believer in there being no bad dogs just bad owners

martinidry · 09/06/2019 00:51

DSSs mother is a control freak. You're best off ensuring that you don't give her power over you or your home life.
It's not the dog breed that's the problem and it's not the teen either. It's her!

Dudleydoodle · 09/06/2019 00:53

Completely agree, I have had many breeds of dog over the years and not one of them, was as soft and gentle os my staff, they do not lash out, in fact if people did their research they would see the dog you are most likely to get bitten by is the lovable labrador retriever

Densol999 · 09/06/2019 00:56

Id never recommend a Staff. I had a beautiful blue one but it was nasty, pulled me over, bit etc. Yes people say its the owners. Hands up I wasnt strong enough to control the thing. My ex took him thank god.

I have a cockerpoo now. The most loving, softest, nicest, obedient and clever dog I have ever owned. Its a breed that doesnt need "specialist" owners unlike a staff. I am very anti staff myself

SummerPlace · 09/06/2019 01:00

@DrinkofWater Are they the type of dog that General Patton had? I remember reading that they had a completely undeserved bad reputation and were loving and good natured.

Then again, one of the most patient and affectionate dogs we have lived with was a very large - 70 kg - Rottweiler.

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/06/2019 01:01

I have witnessed a cockerpoo suddenly take off nearly pulling the owner over and run across a field and get a little KC Spaniel in its mouth and nearly kill it. Lots of blood where the cockerpoo bit into the back of the KC spaniels neck.

Goosethecat · 09/06/2019 02:03

I've worked with dogs for the past 8 years, owned staffies for many years, and have never been bitten by one. I have, however, been bitten by cockerpoos, westies, and other smaller breeds. Good luck with your puppy!

Tillygetsit · 09/06/2019 03:47

I can't believe some of the ignorant views about staffies. They are known as the nanny dog because they're so good with children. Tell her to get stuffed, OP!

FenellaMaxwell · 09/06/2019 04:09

I think the trouble is that you get some very ignorant people. And oh look, several of them have popped up on this thread to prove the point. Hmm OP I volunteered at Battersea Dogs Home for many years. They have loads of staffies. Like @Goosethecat says - None of them ever, ever bit me, in fact they uniformly had the best nature of all the breeds I encountered. Was bitten by a lot of jack Russells and westies though.

In fact the reason that so many staffies end in rescues is because idiots acquire them thinking they’ll make them look tough and hard, but the average staffies has the personality of a marshmallow so they get dumped.

[Edited at posters request]

agnurse · 09/06/2019 04:19

As long as he is not being abused (and assuming you aren't planning to get a dog that is dangerous; I highly doubt you would be doing that) his mum has NO say in what happens in your home.

She needs to get over herself. Does she think she's going to take you to court and whine that she doesn't like the fact that you've adopted a puppy and your son is a TEEN? The judge would likely laugh her out the door.

Juniperjunojunijune · 09/06/2019 04:49

Staffs are the sweetest, most soppy dogs. They're only ever a risk to anyone when they've been specifically trained by their owner to be aggressive. If you get a puppy you have no risk anyway because the dog will be a baby! And he will grow up with DSS. Some people are so weird and uneducated about dogs.

Juniperjunojunijune · 09/06/2019 04:53

Staffs are NOT known to 'lash out'! Ugh people make me so angry with these ignorant campaigns of hate they have against certain breeds. Staffs are a VERY popular breed at the moment so yes, statistically one or two idiots will own a staff and train them to be aggressive or they will abuse the dog making it jumpy and afraid. A healthy staff puppy with a loving family is NO risk to anyone. In fact, staffs can't be used as guard dogs because their natural reaction when they see a human is to celebrate! Pps, please educate yourself about different breeds of dogs and stop reading the Daily Mail. 🙄

OP, get the puppy! It will be wonderful for everyone!

Henrysmycat · 09/06/2019 05:06

I had no idea “racism/breed-ism” for dogs was so prevalent?
“My cocker spaniel is so much better than yours” and “don’t buy this breed, get this breed” “Staffies are lower class dogs”
Wtaf is wrong with you people? If you don’t discipline or take your dog for classes how is your uselessness, the dog’s fault?
We have a rescue springer spaniel but gotta admit compared to my friends’ staffie or the mutt that the other picked from a beach in Greece, mine is a bit of an asshole and a simpleton to boot. The staffie is by far the easiest dog and the friendliest. Complete joy to be around. The mutt, 5 years on, still can’t believe his luck and reverts back to his “stray dog” mentality but he’s probably the cleverest dog, I’ve ever meet.
You can’t go around saying “all these dogs are crap and all this designer ones are better”

blackcat86 · 09/06/2019 05:15

So what does your ex say? I hope he has put mum straight? Give DSS age I think she is being ridiculous.

Loveislandaddict · 09/06/2019 05:20

Let’s have pictures of cute staffs pup please.

Your dh is as responsible for DS wellbeing as ex, so if he says it’s okay, then should be fine.

By now, I assume they would know if DS has an allergy to dogs.

DS is excited about pup, so that’s good news. I wold involve her every step of the way.

It sounds like ex has an irrational fear.

CornShaunelly · 09/06/2019 05:25

I have some sympathy for the mum as I'm phobic of staffies since being attacked by one. I know they're statistically not the most aggressive of dogs but they do have the potential to cause real damage.

Aus84 · 09/06/2019 06:00

There is so much bullshit in this thread. Every dog, no matter how loving of a home they come from, has the potential to lash out. Dogs can get aggressive and less tolerant in old age. A staffy having a bad day can be a killer. End of story.

mrscatmad31 · 09/06/2019 06:00

Staffies are brilliant with kids, they get such a bad rap. They aren't great with other dogs/animals but they love people, worked as a vet nurse for 10 years and never bitten by a staffy, any breed of dog has the potential to bite but a teenager hopefully won't be too rough with them anyway

MarthasGinYard · 09/06/2019 06:10

Yabu

I would want my dc around your new dog either.

feathermucker · 09/06/2019 06:13

Your house, your decision.

Staffies, when raised correctly, are amazing family dogs.

I can't believe she's reacting this way. It's unreasonable and petty.

LL83 · 09/06/2019 06:13

Staffies have a very bad reputation I dont know any so when I see one I am very nervous and would hate my child to be living with one.

The mum is worried, it would be kinder to reassure her how dss would be safe and how good these dogs are.

It is unlikely she is jealous he might like dads house more unless you already know she is insecure about that.

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