Dentist in tesco tackled me

[Spiceb]

Shopping with 3 year old yesterday. Stopped by the raisins. Old woman came up to me and said "excuse me but please don't buy them. They are terribly bad for teeth" I must have looked incredulous because her husband stepped in to say she was a dentist

Aibu to think go away and let me shop in peace? I'm a sensible grown adult who can make choices

YABU. She was just trying to point out that raisins are bad for teeth. You disagree. It's no big deal. It wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. People on MN seem to get upset by things that really don't matter

I wouldn't have minded tbh, it takes a village and all that.

I would have found that amusing. Raisins are vile but also great antioxidants.

Maybe she wasn't really a dentist, just someone who likes blurting out unsolicited health advice in supermarkets, and the husband has become accustomed to stepping in to assert she's an expert in whatever to make her behaviour seem more socially acceptable.

So when she tells people that the fags they are about to buy are going to do their lungs in, she's a pulmonologist, when she tells people not to pick up a hair dye because it'll turn their hair into straw, he'll claim she's a trichologist, and when she tells people to steer clear of shrink-wrapped stuff, he'll be absolutely adamant she's a toxicologist.

With the strain of it all, he's probably ended up needing a psychiatrist!

Okay for all of you who think raisins are okay because they have fibre and vitamins, read this. Clearly they are not.

www.theguardian.com/society/2005/jul/19/health.medicineandhealth1

She is right, of course. They are very bad for a kid's teeth, and a lot of parents aren't aware and think they are buying healthy snacks. OK, busybody, but a well-intentioned one.

Professor William Bowen of New York's Rochester University, a specialist in dental decay, is even more adamant. "Raisins are one of the worst agents in promoting tooth decay," he insists. "We have shown that raisins fed to experimental animals induce even more decay than pure sugar."

I gave my oldest tooth decay from eating raisins, introduced as a potty training reward, luckily his adult teeth are good. My youngest breastfed until 3 and had fed to sleep, I'm convinced his teeth were damaged by this but I also think this was compounded by the fact that at the time I wasn't recommended vitamin D drops ( I'm talking 15-20 years ago). Luckily I gave mine flouride tablets from early on and their adult teeth are good.
I have told lots of people about the danger of raisins but don't have the brass neck to accost strangers!

I respect that woman.

On the one hand she could be accused of being an interfering busybody, clearly.

On the other hand, she may have thought

'If I can prevent one child having tooth decay and make their mum aware of the risks, it's worth being pilloried on a parenting forum or sworn at in Tesco. So fuck it, I'm going to speak up.'

When you get to a certain age you might not care what anyone thinks if you think you can do a bit of good.

As others have said they are very bad for teeth. They have this image of being a healthy snack preferable to sweets when they have a high sugar content and don’t disolve like sweets but stick to the teeth which is worse as it prolongs the contact with the teeth.
This can be exacerbated if you have a toothbrush averse toddler.
She’s probably seen a lot of children having to have treatments due to this, and it’s likely she had your child’s interests at heart.

I would have told her to fuck off because there is nothing worse than an interfering busybody who thinks they know better than you. My DD used to have them a lot because they were the only thing that helped with the constipation she had due to a medical condition. She'd have them after a meal and then we'd brush her teeth. Of course the woman wouldn't have known about the medical condition which is why you keep your nose out of things when you have no clue about someone's situation. I put her in the same catagory as the "early years educator" who lectured me about having her "cooped up" in a buggy when we were on a day out. She couldn't walk, or even crawl, at that stage due to being preterm and having a heart condition, which she has now had open heart surgery for. She made me feel like absolute shit. I don't tolerate people sticking their noses in as well these days. Kind your own damn business.

*mind

Nothing worse than an interfering busybody? You obviously lead a sheltered life. Why would they make you feel like shit? A sweet smile and move on. You'll feel so much better. Aggressive attitudes aren't good for you or your children.

I would have told her to fuck off

Would you? Really? Are there women out there who use language like that to complete strangers?

Well in my mind that's equally if not more offensive than someone making a comment on your shopping.

As for someone making you feel like shit, no one can make you feel anything. It's how you react that's your own choice.

A sweet smile and move on. You'll feel so much better.
I did do that and I didn't feel better, I still feel angry about it 2 years later. Which is why I wouldn't take that approach again. She probably walked away from that encounter feeling pleased with herself that she'd offered advice to a clueless new mum. When actually she'd really upset a knackered new mum with a sick child. I should have told her to fuck off then maybe she'd think twice next time. I bet she's still out there somewhere sticking her nose in where it isn't wanted.

Once i was standing at the sweet section in Morrison's picking sweets for party bags and a man said to me "That'll put the inches on!"

I wonder how acceptable you all would find it if someone stood by the chocolate telling you not to buy it, or the wine?

I might start doing that when obese people buy sweets.

@Saucery
How is your post relevant?

"We have shown that raisins fed to experimental animals induce even more decay than pure sugar."
I understand that, because they don't melt and they stick, but are they saying someone was brushing the animal's teeth? Because otherwise is not a fair comparison.

They are awful for teeth though

Yesterday I saw someone dismissing Nigel Farage as an elderly 55-year-old man.

NIGEL FARAGE IS 55.....NO. FUCKING. WAY??!!!

EleanorReally

i knew someone who had to have a large amount of teeth extracted due to prolonged breast feeding.
So someone you know told you this ?
🤔

@EleanorReally

I guess op could have used the word "retired", would that be ok?

Why do you think that's an alternative? It's still drawing attention to the woman's age isn't it? Therefore it's still ageist. Unless you're trying to justify ageism in some kind of way?

@oysterbabe. When actually she'd really upset a knackered new mum with a sick child

You are still upset 2 years later?

Instead of wanting to swear at her, maybe you should have smiled sweetly and told her your child had a medical condition, adding it really wasn't any of her business anyway.

How could she make you feel terrible when you knew the real and valid reason for your child being in a pushchair? You are coming over as if she touched a nerve and you felt there was some truth in her comment.

You real issue is you weren't able to deal with it at the time by being assertive (and that doesn't mean being aggressive) and you are still holding onto it now.

Not good.

@anyonebut

I understand that, because they don't melt and they stick, but are they saying someone was brushing the animal's teeth? Because otherwise is not a fair comparison

You are joking, yes?

You think that a Professor of dentistry could not devise a suitable experiment and you have come up with something they may have overlooked. Wow.

Maybe you are wasting your life in your current role.

I wonder how many children who have raisins in their lunch box are able to rush off and clean their teeth?