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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dentist in tesco tackled me

345 replies

Spiceb · 08/06/2019 06:23

Shopping with 3 year old yesterday. Stopped by the raisins. Old woman came up to me and said "excuse me but please don't buy them. They are terribly bad for teeth" I must have looked incredulous because her husband stepped in to say she was a dentist

Aibu to think go away and let me shop in peace? I'm a sensible grown adult who can make choices

OP posts:
swingofthings · 08/06/2019 07:20

No interest in whether she might be right?
So you'd be OK with a GP stopping you when you get a bottle of wine in your trolley telling you of the danger of drinking? Of a nutritionist stopping you to tell you of the risk of obesity if you get that pie? Of the podiatrist making a comment on the shoes your kids are wearing when walking in town? Where does it stops? There is a place to make such comments and that is when you are having a consultation with them, not when you are shopping getting on with your every day business.

JQBased · 08/06/2019 07:23

I wouldn't have been too bothered by it, I'm sure she had the best intentions.

chamenanged · 08/06/2019 07:23

Why is it okay to mention someone's sex on here but not their age? I never see eyebrows raised about the irrelevant detail when someone posts about a woman at the park or a man they've had a parking dispute with.

Sproutsandall · 08/06/2019 07:25

Am I the only one who would have taken the advice on board and thanked her for the info? Confused

Medievalist · 08/06/2019 07:25

Can't we even use the words "old", "young", "middle aged" to describe someone these days? I can't see OP's post discriminating this old couple because of their age.

If course - if it's relevant. Which it's not in this case. Unless the op thinks it is relevant and accounts for what she perceives as the woman's odd behaviour?

VirginiaWolfHall · 08/06/2019 07:25

Op you sound ignorant and sneery. Raisins are bad for the teeth. My ‘old’ never mind the fact she’s also professional, qualified and experienced, let’s just focus on her age mum was a dentist and knew the appalling effects of raisins as she treated many a young child who had been fed them in good faith by parents completely oblivious to their effect.

And I hope you don’t feed your three year old Haribo Hmm.

VirginiaWolfHall · 08/06/2019 07:27

Because namechanged, man and woman are nouns not unecessary Unless of course we refer to them all as people which would just get confusing.

VirginiaWolfHall · 08/06/2019 07:28

Sorry that was meant to say unecessary adjectives

JADS · 08/06/2019 07:28

I am a dentist and I have had to resist the urge to take raisins off my friend's kids. I don't do it because I'm a normal person Grin. If they ask though, they do get the fruit juice and raisin lecture (or those bloody fruit yoyos!).

People do make strange choices for their kids based on ideas on what is healthy. The majority are just trying their best though.

YANBU op

EleanorReally · 08/06/2019 07:28

you lot have ruined the thread with your remarks about age.

EleanorReally · 08/06/2019 07:28

are raisins worse than toffee?

pictish · 08/06/2019 07:30

I don’t think she did anything too outlandish. I would have smiled and said, “I know, but thanks.”
Then I wouldn’t give it another thought.

MsTSwift · 08/06/2019 07:31

My dentist friend is quite relaxed about sweets the trick is to have them in one go apparently sugary stuff throughout the day is the most damaging

It is hard to bite your tongue when someone speaks nonsense about things you have knowledge of professionally

chamenanged · 08/06/2019 07:34

No, you did mean nouns about man and woman. Old is an adjective, but I've never seen such objection to other 'unnecessary' adjectives either. I'll look out for that.

I can't believe some people are pretending it's anything but rude and obnoxious as fuck to give out to a stranger in the supermarket about what they're buying, just because OP said 'old' Grin

DannyWallace · 08/06/2019 07:35

Ooh I don't know what I would've done in that situation...

I used to live abroad, and when I was shopping I noticed a flavour of ice cream I hadn't seen before. The ice cream also happened to be low fat. I genuinely wasn't wanting to buy it, but I was intrigued about the flavour so was reading the label.
A woman (young woman if it's relevant 😂😂) approached and told me to put it down as if I ate that I would never be able to have children.
I literally just said "right, ok"...and bought it!! 😂.

It was shit though. Really shit! However I do have a DD now so it didn't do what she said!

CountFosco · 08/06/2019 07:35

The thing is dentists are just concerned about teeth. Yes raisins are sticky and sugary. But they are full of vitamins and so are therefore better than sweets or puddings which is what most people are using them to replace. What does the dentist think about the salt and fat content of cheese? They worried about that?

Heronwatcher · 08/06/2019 07:38

Maybe she’d seen lots of kids have to endure tooth extractions because of snacking on “healthy” raisins and felt she had to say something? Perhaps not on mumsnet but a surprisingly large number of people are unaware of how bad raisins are for kids teeth- having witnessed a 7 yr old in recovery after 6 tooth extractions in hospital (bed next to my DD in for an operation) I can see why she might have wanted to say something- it was like something out of the omen when the poor child was just out of surgery and she was in so much pain. The consultant in hospital said if you really must have them, have them with meals and not as snacks. Unless she was rude to you I’d give her the benefit of the doubt tbh.

TapasForTwo · 08/06/2019 07:38

Cheese is much better for the teeth.

cookiechomper · 08/06/2019 07:38

God that would have wound me up so much. People should just mind their own business.

SheChoseDown · 08/06/2019 07:39

Private dentist in posh village used to come into my workplace everyday and buy redbull, coke, cakes, sweets, cappuccino with sugar. The worst lunch 😂🎂
Theyre just normal people. So rude of her to butt in during your shopping!!

junebirthdaygirl · 08/06/2019 07:44

I think as you get older..l am old...its gets harder to resist saying stuff when you see something that could be changed. Years ago it was very acceptable for older, wiser people to pass on life skills but now everyone hates it. I bite my tongue every day not to say something so poor dentist she forgot to bite her tongue that day.
Don't worry you will be old some day and will learn to accept that you keep all your life experience to yourself.
I would have had no issue with what she said but then again l am spending a fortune on dental treatment at the moment and wishing my parents had more knowledge in their day.

c75kp0r · 08/06/2019 07:45

Top tip: acquire a Child with special needs who has difficulty with controlling their behaviour in public. You will become a magnet for helpful advice that assumes you have not already tried the most basic behaviour management techniques. Many of them will make the situation worse as your child will be provoked rather than calmed by their helpful intervention. You quickly learn how to deflect, minimise and sail past in glorious calm. You probably won't even notice raisin woman.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 08/06/2019 07:45

But Raisins are bad for your teeth though. Sticky sugar and little kids hoover them up.

EleanorReally · 08/06/2019 07:45

i knew someone who had to have a large amount of teeth extracted due to prolonged breast feeding.

Sundancer77 · 08/06/2019 07:47

I didn’t know raisins were bad? I actually thought it’s a sweet treat alternative to actual sweets for kids 🤷‍♀️