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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dentist in tesco tackled me

345 replies

Spiceb · 08/06/2019 06:23

Shopping with 3 year old yesterday. Stopped by the raisins. Old woman came up to me and said "excuse me but please don't buy them. They are terribly bad for teeth" I must have looked incredulous because her husband stepped in to say she was a dentist

Aibu to think go away and let me shop in peace? I'm a sensible grown adult who can make choices

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 09/06/2019 18:28

Am I the only one that expected the OP to have been actually tackled by a dentist? Very rugby in the supermarket?

No you aren't.

I thought she meant Tesco had now added dental treatment and a surgery to their stores and she was being advised by a dentist.

I think this is a storm in a tea cup.

Some people are outspoken and also mean well.

She probably decided that being told to fuck off was the worst that could happen (the dentist) and chose to take the risk in the hope of helping one child avoid fillings or extractions.

No need to get your knickers in such a twist.

There are far worse things going on in the world. @spiceb

Aquilla · 09/06/2019 18:32

Interestingly, my sister in Australia was surprised when i said I sent raisins in for my ds's snack monitor duties. She said their nursery didn't serve them for this reason.

Mamabear4180 · 09/06/2019 18:33

It's not a big deal. She's a dentist so is trying to share information you might not know. You can shrug this off or get on your high horse. Either way she's long gone and I presume you said nothing at the time..

sonjadog · 09/06/2019 18:37

I bet she wasn't a dentist at all. She probably does this all the time and her husband says she is to try to defuse the situation.

mumlost1940 · 09/06/2019 18:41

Buying raisins in a supermarket! Preposterous behaviour. I get mine from Fortnum & Mason: by drone these days. Sultanas to boot. Being an active member of Broccolli Watch, I am amazed that not everyone eats this most healthy of foods. Its unusual to meet a wife of a dentist, particularly one of a certain age. When accosted, while out shopping by dentists, brain surgeons, nuclear scientists and others of that ilk, I always demand to see their qualifications. As for mine - I never leave home without them.
For those who don't know - Sultanas and Raisins are both dried fruits that offer health benefits.
Sultanas are slowly catching up with raisins as staple dried fruit.
Raisins come from grapes that are white in colour.
Sultanas come from similar grapes, but of a seedless variety.
Both raisins and sultanas are hygroscopic – they absorb water vapor easily.

isabellerossignol · 09/06/2019 18:44

I can't get my head round why anyone feels the need to interfere anyway, but I particularly don't get why you would see someone just about to buy raisins and assume that they are feeding them to their child as a snack. Most people I know wouldn't touch them as a snack because of the texture. But I always have some in the house because I use them in cooking.

luckybird07 · 09/06/2019 18:44

she is right about the raisins though

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 09/06/2019 18:46

There is a place to make such comments and that is when you are having a consultation with them, not when you are shopping getting on with your every day business.

Exactly. Sticking your nose in when someone's doing their supermarket shop is out of order. You might've been buying dried fruit to make a fruit cake not intended for your DC.

Oh, hang on, cake, that's bad for you, don't EVER do any baking, it could lead to obesity....Grin

Rachelle11 · 09/06/2019 18:56

She's right but I get why you were annoyed.
I have a ds with special needs and have received a lot of unsolicited advice from strangers as well as inappropriate questions about adoption. I typically reply politely and firmly that he has special needs and that is usually the end of the conversation. I never explain what they are. With adoption questions I normally tell them that is private. I think we can be firm and polite, and it will have a more lasting impact on the person.

Fowles94 · 09/06/2019 19:03

It wouldn't have bothered me, raisins are not the best but as long as you know you are a responsible parent and eat them in one go instead of snacking it shouldn't bother you.

Hellokittymania · 09/06/2019 19:06

Rachelle, I have special needs to. Not a day goes by where people don't give me their opinion, ask questions, give advice or do something else. I've gotten used to it after so many years and most people are genuinely curious or well meaning. So usually I'm OK. Just when I'm tired… Or having an off day… Then it's hard. It was hard for my mother to. But when I was little there was no Internet around to help with advice, and no dentist would even see me. By the time I saw one, it was too late. That's why I wish that back then there had been someone to advise my mom . I am a member of the special care dentistry association now and I do quite a lot to help dentists on how to help people with special needs. I want to make things easier for other people. Next year I'm going to be one of the speakers at their conference.

Skyejuly · 09/06/2019 19:13

Whether she was correct or not is completely irrelevant. It's just rude to stick your nose in someone else's shop and add a comment.

SoleBizzz · 09/06/2019 19:15

Oh.

Hellokittymania · 09/06/2019 19:21

Skyejuly as I mentioned above, some of us get this type of thing every single day… Sometimes multiple times a day.

I remember somebody at Sainsburys asking if she could help me, and then saying we should play a guessing game and I said guess what it was. I was exhausted that day…

I'm kind of becoming envious at all of your privacy… Grin

Hellokittymania · 09/06/2019 19:22

And, not just you, sky, but so many people on here. You're lucky you can go out and shop without having anybody tell you anything. Can I trade? Ha ha Ha

Teacakeandalatte · 09/06/2019 19:38

The point being it's rude to give unsolicited advice in an inappropriate setting. If someone is concerned parents don't know raisins are bad for teeth they should start an awareness campaign. That way they can reach many people and at least some of them will be grateful for the advice rather than insulted.

Ilfie · 09/06/2019 19:43

Crumbs! I thought raisins were healthy and full of vitamin C! Used to give them to daughter all the time when young especially as she’s never been into sweets/chocolate (now 32 and yet to have a filling) Surely they can’t be harmful if you brush your teeth twice a day?

Hopoindown31 · 09/06/2019 19:48

She gave you some unsolicited advice, hardly the crime of the century.

Amibeingdaft81 · 09/06/2019 20:00

@tobeforgotten

I have gone up to young teenage smokers (with some success).

This made me laugh out loud

Please come back and tell us how!

TeacupDrama · 09/06/2019 20:10

raisins occasionally are fine they are a source of fibre
but the mini boxes contain about 50 raisins as grapes dry the sugar is concentrated a box per day will cause problems a small handful of 20 twice a week is unlikely too
brushing is vital but you can't eat an extra bag of sweets and hope brushing will compensate

but when you see parents give a child in a pushchair a whole bag of haribo ( the £1 bags not the mini ones) while they get their 20th filling and then they tell you their child doesn't really have sweets despite the evidence right in front of you
I have long since ceased to believe any parent where their child has 12 cavities that they don't eat sweets and drink just water unless there is evidence of a genuine enamel defect (SOD's law dictates that enamel defects always affect children with otherwise good teeth)

bitmynailbrokemytooth · 09/06/2019 20:16

It is not crime of the century hopoindown31 but it is annoying.

I was once at the check out in a garden centre when the lady behind me told me that my cardigan was inside out. I had a look, agreed with her but at no point did I thank her. I was irrationally annoyed by her smugness and did not rectify the cardigan at all; I even went into another shop still wearing it the wrong way round. DD and I had a laugh about it.

People should butt the hell out.

LaraLondon1 · 09/06/2019 20:39

Raisins are one of those items that people think are healthy choices but can have a stack of sugar. She was most likely trying to be helpful rather than patrionising 🙄
I’ve had a man tell me the sausages I was buying were very fatty and proceeded to eye ball me all around the shop ! I’ve also had a lady tell me my child shouldn’t be eating a lollipop and I was rather taken aback as she walked off . Oh who knows maybe she’s once had a horrible accident with a lollipop .. deep breathe ...

AlaskanOilBaron · 09/06/2019 20:48

Oh, I have absolutely had a nice maternal word with young teenagers smoking before, how could you not when they have little chubby baby cheeks? They called me ma'am and were fairly polite.

I give the older teenagers a wide berth.

MadamMMA · 09/06/2019 21:04

‘A grapist’ Grin

Coyoacan · 09/06/2019 21:14

One of my best friends is a dentist and I would expect that of her. Though her pet hate is Coca Cola I have unfortunately seen the mouths of three-year-olds who have been given soft drinks and it is a distressing sight.