Words fail me... [warning: contains link to distressing story]

[Beebeezed]

metro.co.uk/2019/06/07/baby-died-mum-took-nightclub-drunkenly-fell-asleep-9871288/

I could be wrong but I imagined a Butlins style clubhouse on a caravan site rather than a typical nightclub so other children running round and it not being an issue that the baby was there but still, awful story and she will undoubtedly never forgive herself either.

If someone in my family had a heart attack, or any other fatal illness/episode, in the night and I wasn't awake to help, would it be my fault?

If that person was physically disabled and non verbal and you were their sole carer during the night, responsible for checking on them and feeding them and you got so drunk you weren’t able to do any of that and call for help when they showed signals of distress then yes, their death would be attributed to your neglect.

Awful poor little lad

The only possible positive in this is his very short life, in that he hasn't had many more years of neglect/poor parenting

Yes, the baby bleeding from his mouth and having a fatal heart attack was possibly entirely unrelated to his extremely drunk mother falling asleep on top of him after using him in a game of catch with her sister. Possibly.

The mother clearly failed this poor baby.

However, what is even more shocking here is that so many adults failed this baby. Surely one adult there with half a brain cell could have done something to save this child?

Tragic story, just heartbreaking. This other report www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-48562864 suggests that CoD was not definitely identified and that the mum had PND- so self medicating with alcohol I wonder ? with no support. Where was baby’s father? No frothing about that on here.

(That Metro article is a bit sensational/tabloidy so I looked for something a bit more factual in tone)

For the rest of her life that woman will be haunted by what she's done, nothing anyone says or does can make her feel worse, so let's just try to have a heart.

There's no reason to believe this is true. Plenty of people commit horrendous crimes and feel no remorse. Rapists tell themselves that they are the true victim, she shouldn't have led him on, she's an evil bitch for going to the police and ruining his life. People murder their partners and convince themselves that they are the ones who've really suffered, their partner shouldn't have provoked them, they made one mistake and now they're going to have to pay for it for the rest of their lives.

When Tracey Connelly, the mother of baby Peter, went to prison, I remember people saying that she must already torture herself far more than any cellmate ever could. In reality, she got recalled to prison shortly after her release for breaching the terms of her parole by selling pornographic images of herself. She actually tried to cash in on the notoriety of being Baby P's mother.

This wretched excuse for a woman is murderer. I can’t imagine how little respect she had for the life she brought into this world.

YES, she was drunk. And not capable of looking out for the baby. And did not get him help early enough. But does that make it her fault?

Of course it does! She was his mother, she chose to bring him into the world, she was legally responsible for him. Honestly, MN is so resistant to the idea that mothers should martyr themselves that the pendulum has swung completely in the opposite direction.

We can froth about the lack of support for new mothers and the absence of decent fathers as much as you like. Absence of decent men is a theme many of us can and do explore elsewhere. The fact remains that very few of us would choose to get off our face drunk with a 4-week old baby to care for. We shouldn't "martyr" ourselves, or be expected to, but most of us would make reasonable adjustments, even unreasonable adjustments if unsure.

Where was baby’s father? No frothing about that on here.

If a father had done what this woman did, I doubt there would be many posts on here demanding to know where the mother was. Instead, there would probably be lots of posts about how heartbroken she must be.

Who's to say the father ever had any idea his baby existed? For all we know, the mother doesn't even know the father is.

For the rest of her life that woman will be haunted by what she's done, nothing anyone says or does can make her feel worse, so let's just try to have a heart

Bollox. If I had my way I would have people of equal scale throw her around, culminating in her landing in a huge hole... to be left to rot.

Fuck having a single ounce of sympathy for this scumbag.

I'm amazed this thread is still running. It serves no obvious purpose but for people to work themselves into a lather of bile and hate, and oh, my are they enjoying themselves.

I felt sick reading that they were throwing and catching him He was just 4 weeks old. Surely that's going to lead to something like shaken baby syndrome even if none of the rest of it had happened?

This poor child had zero chance at a safe and happy life.

I do feel sorry for the mother too, because the reason this happened probably is down to something lacking in her that she is not entirely responsible for - perhaps a lack of general intelligence made worse when disinhibited by booze, or perhaps a lack of emotional maturity from her own upbringing.

Her decisions and actions were very unusual. I don't think well-balanced people make decisions like hers.

No one is 'frothing' about the father Dark because he was not the one who caused the death of his child! He may not have even known of it's existence, or the mother could have disallowed him from contact or yes maybe he just wasn't interested. Who knows? None of that absolves the mother of blame. As for blaming it on PND,I've had PND and the very last thing I could have done is dolled myself up and gone out clubbing

Poor mite RIP. Hope she has to be reminded of this for every day of her life.

I think you can agree she was a 'shit mother' putting it bluntly, and still have a pause to think about some of the reasons why that might be - and realise the whole thing is desperately sad for all concerned, including her.

Agree with others who mention the judge's remarks are really problematic.

Aprilly you've either got me mixed up with someone else - SurferRona most likely - or haven't read properly. I largely agree with you.

I do wonder what kind of men meet a woman with a 4-week-old baby in a club... and decide to go back home with her? WTF?

She was diagnosed with depression and the medication for that can mix very badly with alcohol. I feel nothing but sadness.

Three men, two women and the baby. Terrible

From what I can see the depression occurred after the baby’s death. No clear PND diagnosis before that could explain self medicating etc.

Fucking hell. I’ve struggled with anxiety for a long time and suffered really badly with depression after DS’s birth but no way would I have been getting pissed. I’m afraid I am judging here. Not just her but her sister, those men, every single other fucking person who was around her when she was getting off her face with a baby in tow.

I do feel sorry for her because the pain of having to live knowing you caused your baby’s death must be unbearable but I feel an awful lot sorrier for her son who never got to live.

My apologies DarkAtEndOfTunnel